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A joke about swimming -- and drinking -- was posted on Twitter by Alfie Moore on March 31, 2013: "I used to be addicted to swimming but I'm proud to say I've been dry for two years…
A theatre joke is: ""Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage." The "just going through a stage" pun has been cited…
A tennis riddle is: Q: Why are fish no good at tennis?A: They don't like to get too close to the net. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google BooksLaughs, Hoots &…
Many dramatic works are "based on a true story." If that story involves food, maybe it's "baste on a true story"? The pun was printed in the book Ridiculous Riddles (2003)…
"Break a leg!" is a theatrical saying meaning -- somewhat oddly -- "Good luck!" A joke was posted on Twitter by Ralph Tetta on July 5, 2011: "In showbiz, they tell you to…
Many people throw out receipts. "Instead of 'And here's your receipt', they should say, 'Will you throw this away for me?'" was posted on Twitter by Nick…
Many people apologize to their liver before drinking. "Dear Liver, I'm sorry but it is Friday at 5p" was posted on Twitter on April 10, 2009. "Dear Liver: I'm Sorry. :(…
A goat cheese riddle is: Q: What's the greatest cheese of all time?A: GOAT cheese. "GOAT" is slang meaning "Greatest Of All Time." The joke was posted on Twitter on…
Many people apologize to their liver before drinking. "Dear Liver, I'm sorry but it is Friday at 5p" was posted on Twitter on April 10, 2009. "Dear Liver: I'm Sorry. :(…
When asked what one does, "stuff" is a non-specific answer, but suppose one really does "stuff" for a living? "'Oh, you know, 'stuff'' ~ a taxidermist,…
IKEA stores are very large. "I'm convinced the employees of ikea are customers who ha no clue how to get out and just gave the fuck up" was posted on Twitter by Chris Young on…
A burger riddle is: Q: When do burgers quit their jobs?A: The day they decide to meat loaf. The joke was printed in the book 101 Hamburger Jokes (1978) by Phil Hirsch. Google Books101 Hamburger…
Some people dread Monday (the traditional start of the work week) so much that they're afraid to go to sleep on Sunday night. "Warning: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday" is…
A cow riddle is: Q: What do you call a depressed cow?A: An emoo. "Emoo" is a pun on "moo" and "emo," as well as possibly "emu." The joke was posted on…
Many dramatic works are "based on a true story." If that story involves food, maybe it's "baste on a true story"? The pun was printed in the book Ridiculous Riddles (2003)…
Two stages of thinking about food defines one's life, at least according to a post on Twitter by Sarcasm Society on June 29, 2016: "2 stages of my life :1) I should eat.2) I…
A riddle about tight pants is: Q: What do cheap hotels and skinny jeans have in common?A: No ballroom. The "no ballroom" (no crotch space for a man's balls) joke has been cited in…
Skyscrapers don't actually reach the clouds, but they are still very tall buildings. A riddle has been printed on an image: Q: What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?A: Find the nearest…
A definition of a "smartass" was given by Bronx-born comedian Joey Bishop in 1975: "That's someone who, blindfolded and naked, can sit on a plate of ice-cream and tell you what…
A riddle about suicide bombers has been printed on many images: Q: Where do suicide bombers go when they die?A: Everywhere. The riddle was posted on Twitter on June 2, 2013, and on Reddit -- Jokes…