“Where do Norse Texans go when they die?”/“Y’allhalla.” (y’all + Valhalla)
"Y'allhalla" is a portmanteau word of 'y'all" ("you all") and "Valhalla" (a place in Norse mythology). "Y'allHalla" was posted on…
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“If wars can be started by lies, then peace can be started by truth”
"If wars can be started by lies, (then) peace can be started by truth" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Julian Assange, the director of WikiLeaks, said at an anti-war…
“When you shop at a record store, you should know that all sales are vinyl”
Many stores (especially stores that sell used merchandise) have a no-return policy, "all sales are final." A joke is that a used records store has a sign that says, "all sales are…
“Cannibals take being a people person to one fucked-up level”
A "people person" is someone who interacts well with other people. Companies often want to hire "people persons" who like people, but cannibals also "like" people. A…
“Have you tried disabling cookies?”/“Well, I once bit the legs off a gingerbread man!”
An "HTTP cookie" is not something that's eaten, but there have been several jokes. English comedian Lee Mack told this joke in 2010: "The bloke fixing my PC said, 'Have you…
“Excuses don’t burn calories”
"Excuses don't burn calories" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. Origin of the saying is unknown, but the blog Excuses Don't Burn Calories began on…
“Apple comes up” or “Feel the apple” or “Take the apple” (to choke; from Adam’s apple)
It is sometimes claimed that in the sports and entertainment worlds, when someone would play in New York City (the big time), the performer's Adam's apple would tighten, and, from this,…
Broadway (slang for flashy dresser, loud talker)
The Sporting News Record Book (1937) included this piece of baseball slang: "Broadway -- A flashy dresser, loud talker." "Broadway" is the name of a main thoroughfare in many…
“How many teachers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (riddle)
There have been several teacher versions of the traditional lightbulb joke. This is from 1990: Q: How many teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: One if at home, but on school time,…
“What do you call a Scandinavian who only eats plants?”/“A Nor-vegan.”
"A vegetarian in Norway is a Nor-vegan" is a pun that was posted on Twitter on January 31, 2011. "What do you call a vegetarian Viking? A nor-vegan" was posted on Twitter on…
Tightening of Adam’s Apple (suggested in 1978)
It is sometimes claimed that in the sports and entertainment worlds, when someone would play in New York City (the big time), the performer's Adam's apple would tighten, and, from this,…
“Croutons are just big bread crumbs”
Croutons have been compared to bread crumbs. "Croutons are just big bread crumbs #latenightthoughtswithsoraya" was posted on Twitter on October 12, 2013. "Croutons are like giant…
“What kind of phone makes music?”/“A saxophone.”
A phone riddle is: Q: What kind of phone makes music? A: A saxophone. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy Joseph…
“What kind of phone makes music?”/“A saxophone.”
A phone riddle is: Q: What kind of phone makes music? A: A saxophone. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy Joseph…
Borough Hall (side-arm pitch in Brooklyn)
A baseball definition was published in the 1943 Baseball Guide and Record Book: "Borough Hall -- Side-arm pitch in Brooklyn." The term refers to Brooklyn Borough Hall and was used by the…
“Bread crumbs are just really small croutons”
Croutons have been compared to bread crumbs. "Croutons are just big bread crumbs #latenightthoughtswithsoraya" was posted on Twitter on October 12, 2013. "Croutons are like giant…
“Those who invest in chocolate put their money behind bars”
A pun about chocolate was posted on the website Pun of the Day in March 2004: "Those who invest in chocolate put their money behind bars." Pun of the Day Great One Liners of the Month -…
“Home is where our story begins”
"Home is where our story beings" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at least 2006 and is of unknown authorship. Lizzie-Kate, Inc.…
“What do you call a skinhead who doesn’t eat meat?”/“A vegetaryan.” (vegetarian + Aryan)
"Vegetaryan" (vegetarian + Aryan) is a portmanteau word that has been used in several jokes. "Is that because Franz (Liszt -- ed.) was a vegetARYAN?" was posted on the newsgroup…
“Bacon bits are essentially pig sprinkles”
"How come bacon bits aren't called pig sprinkles?" was asked on Twitter on May 7, 2013. "Lunch table conversation- what would you call bacon bits used on ice cream? Pig…