“The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room”
People bump into things in dark rooms. "Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark" is a jocular line that was printed in The Courier-Journal & Times (Louisville, KY) on July…
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Postage Stamp Consensus
"Postage stamp consensus" is a term that was popularized by English writer and public speaker David Icke in 2016. A "postage stamp consensus" represents the traditional…
“What kind of bats swing upside down?”/“Acro-bats.”
A riddle about bats is: Q: What kind of bats swing upside down? A: Acro-bats. The "acro-bats" pun has been cited in print since at least 1993. 27 October 1993, Victoria (TX) Advocate,…
“A wireless bra? It was tricky enough; now I need a password?”
A “wireless bra” can’t access the internet, but there are jokes. "A wireless bra? They weren't tricky enough, now I need a password?" was posted on X/Twitter by Jeff Dwoskin…
“My boss just appointed me as his sexual consultant” (joke)
"My boss just appointed me as his sexual consultant," an old joke goes. "His exact words were, 'When I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.'" The joke was…
“For a slutty Halloween costume, dress as a professor. They barely cover anything important”
Do a lot of people dress up as professors for Halloween? "'Looking for a scandalous Halloween costume? Dress as a professor... They don't cover anything' *badum tsssss*"…
“Hey officer, how did the hackers escape?”/“No idea, they just ransomware.”
"Ransomware" sounds like "ran somewhere." A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on October 6, 2018: “Hey officer, how did the hackers escape?”“No idea, they just…
“You said you liked month puns. Why’d July to me?”
"Why'd July?" sounds like "Why'd you lie?" "Or, alternatively, Tom should March right in there and ask her 'Why'd July to me?'" was posted on…
“Abortion: It really brings out your inner child”
"Abortion: It really brings out the kid in you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Abortion: It really brings out the kid in you" was posted on Twitter by master…
“Abortion really brings out the kid in you”
"Abortion: It really brings out the kid in you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Abortion: It really brings out the kid in you" was posted on Twitter by master…
“My friend David had his ID stolen the other day. Now we just call him Dav”
"My friend David had his ID stolen yesterday. We just call him Dav now" is an ID joke that was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on April 13, 2011. The joke originated on the…
“Is there baseball in heaven?” (joke)
A baseball joke has two old men make a pact for the first one to die to inform the other if there's baseball in heaven. "I've got some good news and some bad news," said the…
“A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar…” (bar jokes)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An "I came, I saw, I conquered" version is: "A sperm donor, a carpenter, and…
“It feels really unnatural to eat a Skittle without looking at its color first”
Skittles, M&Ms, jelly beans and gummy bears come in many different colors. The taste is the same, but many people prefer to know what color they're eating. "I cant eat a m&m…
“Nothing’s built in the U.S. My new tv says ‘built in antenna.’ I don’t know where that is”
"It’s a shame nothing is built in the UK anymore. Just bought a new TV which says ‘Built in Antenna’. I don’t even know where that is..." was posted on Twitter by Paul Mansell on…
“Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?”/“It was the pot calling the cattle back.”
A joke on the proverb "the pot calling the kettle black" involves a different "pot" (marijuana). "Why did the cows all return to the marijuana farm? - It was the pot…
“I got an invite to a wedding that said ‘black tie only’” (joke)
An invitation stating "black tie only" means that men must wear a black tie, but not only a black tie. "I got an invite to a wedding that said 'black tie only'. But when I…
“Collect moments, not things”
"Collect moments, not things" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "Clothes? Vehicles? Homes? It's all only stuff. Time is everything. Spend it…
“Give ‘em pumpkin to talk about” (“Let’s give them pumpkin to talk about”)
"Something to Talk About" is a song written by Canadian singer-songwriter Shirley Eikhard that was popularized by American singer Bonnie Raitt in 1991. "Let's give them pumpkin…
“Pumpkin kisses and harvest wishes”
"Pumpkin kisses and harvest wishes" is a fall saying that has been printed on many images. "PUMPKIN KISSES HARVEST WISHES PRIMITIVE FALL BLOCK SIGNS SIGNS…