“I don’t want any more help from the government. I can’t afford it”
When government "helps" with "free stuff," it often comes with a price, such as higher taxes. Not everyone wants the "help." "I don’t want any more help from…
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“Don’t forget to set your clock on fire this Sunday. Time isn’t real”
"Don't forget to set your clock on fire this Sunday. Time isn't real" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people have to set their clocks forward an hour and…
“It’s never your successful friends posting the communist quotes”
"It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "It's never your super successful friends posting…
“Don’t forget to set your clock on fire tonight. Time isn’t real”
"Don't forget to set your clock on fire this Sunday. Time isn't real" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people have to set their clocks forward an hour and…
“It’s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes”
"It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "It's never your super successful friends posting…
“It’s never your super successful friends posting the inspirational quotes”
"It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "It's never your super successful friends posting…
“If there’s a vegetable emergency, Kale 999”
"If there’s a vegetable emergency, Kale 911" was posted on Facebook by Katy Haseley to the group Home Groan Puns on January 30, 2024. This is a pun on "call 911," the…
“Every time I drink Magners or Bulmers I start swearing like a trooper. I must be suffering from cider fecks”
"Side effects" shouldn't be confused with "cider fecks," but a joke involves Bulmers/Magners Irish Cider. "Every time I drink Magners or Bulmers I start swearing. Must…
“I thought I’d take a stab at an Ides of March joke”
March 15th (the middle of the month) is called the Ides of March. Roman general and statesman Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 15, 44 B.C. "If I read one more corny ides of March joke,…
“If I read one more corny Ides of March joke, I’m going to stab my best friend”
March 15th (the middle of the month) is called the Ides of March. Roman general and statesman Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 15, 44 B.C. "If I read one more corny ides of March joke,…
“Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you add 23 knives”
"celebrating by eating a Caesar Salad with 23 knives" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Audrey L on March 15, 2012. "This Caesar salad is really authentic - it has 23 knives…
“If there’s a vegetable emergency, Kale 911”
"If there’s a vegetable emergency, Kale 911" was posted on Facebook by Katy Haseley to the group Home Groan Puns on January 30, 2024. This is a pun on "call 911," the…
“Cheese dip is thicker than blood” (joke)
“Blood is thicker than water” is an old saying than means that family (blood) is more important than friends (water). A joke version of the proverb was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Guns don’t kill people. Planned Parenthood does”
“Guns don’t kill people—people kill people” is a popular saying from at least 1959. "Guns don't kill people. Planned Parenthood kills people" is a variation of the saying…
“Shopping like it’s 1999”
"I don't wanna party like it's 1999. i wanna grocery shop like it's 1999" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Party like it's 1999" is a line…
“Guns don’t kill people. Planned Parenthood kills people”
“Guns don’t kill people—people kill people” is a popular saying from at least 1959. "Guns don't kill people. Planned Parenthood kills people" is a variation of the saying…
“I don’t want to party like it’s 1999. I want to grocery shop like it’s 1999”
"I don't wanna party like it's 1999. i wanna grocery shop like it's 1999" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Party like it's 1999" is a line…
“People who need leaders aren’t fit to choose them”
"Those who need leaders are not qualified to choose them" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, according to the speaker, someone who needs a leader is weak and is…
“I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999. I wanna go grocery shopping like it’s 1999”
"I don't wanna party like it's 1999. i wanna grocery shop like it's 1999" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Party like it's 1999" is a line…
“I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999. I wanna grocery shop like it’s 1999”
"I don't wanna party like it's 1999. i wanna grocery shop like it's 1999" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Party like it's 1999" is a line…