“I went to a family restaurant and they refused to serve me a family”
A joke about a "family restaurant" was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on February 27, 2020: "I went to a family restaurant and they refused to serve me a family." Other family…
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“The fact that my entire body cracks like a glowstick whenever I move yet refuses to glow…”
Is the human body like a glowstick? "My body cracks like a glow stick when I wake up. #holy" was posted on Twitter by Lex ♡ on December 17, 2012. "i love how everytime i get out of…
“Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people at the grocery store”
"Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people at/in the grocery store" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A slow shopping cart can have that effect on people. "I…
“Imagine an atheist stuck at a green light behind a car with a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ sticker”
"Honk if you love Jesus" is a popular bumper sticker that has been cited in print since at least 1971. A question was posted on the newsgroup alt.religion.christian-teen on March 28,…
“I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise…”
"I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd wake up early in the morning to exercise...And I was right" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I…
“Nutritional labels should include a ‘What if I ate the whole damn thing?’ section”
"Nutrition/Nutritional labels should include a 'What if I ate the whole damn thing?' section" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images. Yes, some people do…
“What does an atheist do when he drives up behind a car with a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ sticker…”
"Honk if you love Jesus" is a popular bumper sticker that has been cited in print since at least 1971. A question was posted on the newsgroup alt.religion.christian-teen on March 28,…
“Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store”
"Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people at/in the grocery store" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A slow shopping cart can have that effect on people. "I…
“Nutrition labels should have a ‘What if I ate the whole damn thing?’ section”
"Nutrition/Nutritional labels should include a 'What if I ate the whole damn thing?' section" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images. Yes, some people do…
“Please stop the hate on the lazy people. They didn’t do anything at all”
"Why we hate lazy people? they are not doing anything anyway" is a question that was asked on Twitter by DearDiary on June 4, 2019. "Why is everyone mad at lazy people? They’re not…
“Why do society hate lazy people? They didn’t even do anything”
"Why we hate lazy people? they are not doing anything anyway" is a question that was asked on Twitter by DearDiary on June 4, 2019. "Why is everyone mad at lazy people? They’re not…
“Not sure why society seems to hate lazy people. They didn’t even do anything”
"Why we hate lazy people? they are not doing anything anyway" is a question that was asked on Twitter by DearDiary on June 4, 2019. "Why is everyone mad at lazy people? They’re not…
“Don’t be mad at lazy people. They haven’t done anything”
"Why we hate lazy people? they are not doing anything anyway" is a question that was asked on Twitter by DearDiary on June 4, 2019. "Why is everyone mad at lazy people? They’re not…
“The main function of the little toe is to make sure that all the furniture is in place”
"The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the furniture in the house is in place" -- another way of saying that the toe often bumps into the furniture --…
“Who called them ’surgical masks’ instead of ’coughy filters’?”
A coffee filter shouldn’t be confused with a "coughy filter," but there are jokes. "In an emergency flu masks can be used as coughy filters" was posted on Twitter by Simon…
“Janitors who work in skyscrapers are high maintenance”
The term "high maintenance" usually has nothing to do with janitors, but there are jokes. "Janitors who work in skyscrapers are high maintenance" was posted on Twitter by rodney…
“You Matter. Until you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you Energy”
"You Matter. Unless/Until you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you Energy" is a science joke that has been printed on many images. The saying is based on the famous…
“Don’t be mad at lazy people. They didn’t do anything”
"Why we hate lazy people? they are not doing anything anyway" is a question that was asked on Twitter by DearDiary on June 4, 2019. "Why is everyone mad at lazy people? They’re not…
“An apple a day is nonsense. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White…”
"An apple a day is bullshit. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau" is a jocular apple saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“You Matter. Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you Energy”
"You Matter. Unless/Until you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you Energy" is a science joke that has been printed on many images. The saying is based on the famous…