“What’s the opposite of formaldehyde?”/ “Casualdejekyll.”
"Formaldehyde" has nothing to do with the gothic novella Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde (1886) by Scottish author Robert Louis Stevenson, but there are jokes. This was posted on…
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“I’m going to unlike this page. Right after I post about unliking this page…”
A social media meme shows an angry, spoiled child supposedly yellling: "I'M GOING TO UNLIKE THIS PAGERIGHT AFTER I POST ABOUT UNLIKING THIS PAGE AND HANG AROUND TO SEE WHAT PEOPLE SAY…
“Memorial Day—honor their deaths by questioning anyone calling for more of them”
A popular Memorial Day saying was posted on Facebook by Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian (and on Twitter by Mrs. Betty Bowers) on May 26, 2012: "Memorial Day -- honor their…
“Romance novels written during COVID?19: ‘As she slowly slipped her mask down…’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some changes to romance novels. "Romance novels written during COVID 19 will be like ..... as she slowly slipped her mask down and removed her…
“The CDC says to disinfect the places that you touch the most. Don’t do it, it freaking burns!”
"A Lysol commercial just said to disinfect the thing you touch the most. Fuck!!! This is gonna burn" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter by Mark on February 20, 2011. "THE…
“When you look at Twitter’s trending topics, it’s easier to understand…”
Many people on social media are not too bright. "Take a look at trending topics on Twitter and you'll understand why they have to write 'do not eat' on dry silica packets"…
“The Lysol commercial told me to disinfect the things I touch the most. This is going to burn”
"A Lysol commercial just said to disinfect the thing you touch the most. Fuck!!! This is gonna burn" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter by Mark on February 20, 2011. "THE…
“After spending any amount of time on social media you can understand…”
Many people on social media are not too bright. "Take a look at trending topics on Twitter and you'll understand why they have to write 'do not eat' on dry silica packets"…
“If you let social media get to you, I can imagine what real life be doing to your ass”
Many people take social media much too seriously. "If you let social media get to you i can only imagine what real life does to you" was posted on Twitter by Shiloh_ on August 9, 2017.…
“I stood waving at my neighbor for 10 minutes before realizing she was just cleaning her windows”
"I stood waving to my neighbour for 10 minutes this morning before realising she was just cleaning her windows" is a joke that was posted on Facebook by Paulo Raulino on May 18, 2020. The…
“If you let social media get to you, I can only imagine what real life does to you”
Many people take social media much too seriously. "If you let social media get to you i can only imagine what real life does to you" was posted on Twitter by Shiloh_ on August 9, 2017.…
“Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without letting him feel your boot”
"Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without messing up the shine on his shoes" (or "Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without scuffing the shine on his…
“What’s the difference between COVID and a Karen?” (NSFW joke)
A NSFW riddle about the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on April 19, 2020: Q: What's the difference between COVID and a Karen?A: One's a contagion, the…
“I’ve been on hold so long that I can’t remember who I’ve called”
Many people have been on hold for a long time on their phone calls. "I've been on hold so long that I can't remember who I've called..." was posted on Twitter by…
“Been on hold so long I can’t remember who I called. I have a credit card out…”
Many people have been on hold for a long time on their phone calls. "I've been on hold so long that I can't remember who I've called..." was posted on Twitter by…
“I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger seat than when there’s a person sitting there”
"I drive safer when there's food in my passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @MrDonaldGlover I…
“Tact is the ability to step on a fellow’s shoes without ruining his shine”
"Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without messing up the shine on his shoes" (or "Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without scuffing the shine on his…
“I dropped everything to become a juggler”
"I had a friend who dropped everything to become a juggler" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by Jason Buck on June 23, 2009. "I dropped everything to become a juggler" was…
“I drive safer with really good food in the passenger seat than with a close friend”
"I drive safer when there's food in my passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @MrDonaldGlover I…
“I thought I had Covid-19 because I couldn’t breathe. Then I unbuttoned my pants and it was OK”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made people conscious of their breathing. "At first, I thought I had Covid 19 because I couldn’t breathe. Then I unbuttoned my pants and it was all…