“My blood type is dark roast”
"My blood type is dark roast (positive)" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I think my blood type is dark roast" was posted on Twitter by Mike…
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“When God gave out chins, I thought He said gins, so I said I’ll have a double”
"When God passed out brains, I thought He said trains -- and I missed mine..." is one of several lines explaining how someone because such a mess. The lines were printed in many 1942…
“When God gave out brains, I thought He said trains, and I missed mine”
"When God passed out brains, I thought He said trains -- and I missed mine..." is one of several lines explaining how someone because such a mess. The lines were printed in many 1942…
“I was going to make a joke about carpentry, but can’t think of any that wood work”
"Woodwork" sounds like "would work." "I'd also tell a joke about carpentry but I'm not sure it woodwork" was posted on Twitter by Amarachi on April 14, 2015.…
“When God gave out ears, I thought He said beers, so I took two big ones”
"When God passed out brains, I thought He said trains -- and I missed mine..." is one of several lines explaining how someone because such a mess. The lines were printed in many 1942…
“When God gave out legs, I thought He said kegs, so I took two short fat ones”
"When God passed out brains, I thought He said trains -- and I missed mine..." is one of several lines explaining how someone because such a mess. The lines were printed in many 1942…
“If you sin 90 times you’ll only get caught 50% of the time because sin90 = cot45”
"If you sin 90 times, you get caught 45 times. Because sin90 = cot 45!" was posted on Twitter by Abhijeet R.Bhalerao on August 28, 2010. This is a math joke about "sine"…
“My blood type is dark roast positive”
"My blood type is dark roast (positive)" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I think my blood type is dark roast" was posted on Twitter by Mike…
“Why couldn’t Covid get a drink at the bar?”/“Because Covid 19.”
A Covid-19 riddle is: Q: Why couldn’t Covid get a drink at the bar?A: Because Covid 19. That is, Covid-19 is under (age) 21. The joke was posted on Twitter by Biggie Longs on September 5, 2020.…
“Without coffee, I wouldn’t be the perky, foul-mouthed, delightful person that I am”
"Without coffee, I wouldn't be the perky, foul-mouthed, delightful person that I am (today)" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Without coffee... I…
“The worst part about turning the clocks back is having to endure an extra hour of 2020”
The coronavirus pandemic, along with violent protests and looting, wildfires and hurricanes, made 2020 a horrible year for many people. "Thinking about starting a petition to cancel setting…
“The thing about Workaholics Anonymous is that if you have time to come to the meetings…”
Workaholics Anonymous does exist, but it's mostly used in jokes. "RT @sixthformpoet: The thing about Workaholics Anonymous is that if you have time to come to the meetings, you don't…
“I’m directing a cowboy film called The Sun. It’s set in the west”
A joke about the sun is: "I'm directing a cowboy film called The Sun. It's set in the west." The joke was posted on Twitter by alankemp (and others) on September 14, 2014, and…
“It’s not my fault I have a double chin. When God was giving out chins…” (gin joke)
"When God passed out brains, I thought He said trains -- and I missed mine..." is one of several lines explaining how someone because such a mess. The lines were printed in many 1942…
“Drink some coffee and pretend you know what you’re doing”
"Drink some coffee and pretend you know what you're doing" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "'Drink a lot of coffee and pretend you know what you're…
“Is your fridge a morgue or a garden?”
"Is your refrigerator a morgue or a garden?" (that is, containing mostly animal products or mostly plant products) is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. "Is your…
“World peace begins in the kitchen”
"World peace begins in the kitchen" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. The peace usually means a non-animal (vegan) diet, but sometimes it just means sharing world…
“Don’t use your fridge as a morgue”
"Is your refrigerator a morgue or a garden?" (that is, containing mostly animal products or mostly plant products) is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. "Is your…
“Is your refrigerator a morgue or a garden?”
"Is your refrigerator a morgue or a garden?" (that is, containing mostly animal products or mostly plant products) is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. "Is your…
“Vegan: because I’m too cool to be cruel”
"Vegan: because I'm too cool to be cruel" is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "It ain't cool to be cruel #vegan #veganwatch…