“Adding ‘showed up to work during the apocalypse’ to my résumé”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic sent many people home to quarantines, but many essential workers stayed on the job. "I'm adding 'showed up for/to work during the apocalypse'…
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“Always ask for a receipt. You may need an alibi”
Many people ask for a receipt for tax purposes. A receipt is also useful to show a spouse where one has been. "Always ask for a receipt, you never know when you may need an alibi" was…
“I’m done being a people pleaser, if everyone’s OK with that”
A "people-pleaser" joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 17, 2020: "I’m done being a people pleaser. If everyone’s ok with that." "I’m done being a people…
“The first rule of gun safety is to never let the government take your guns”
"The first rule of gun safety is to never let the government take your guns" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "The first rule of firearm safety is to never…
Szechwan Fire (pun on “set you on fire”)
Sichuan/Szechuan/Szechwan cuisine can be spicy. "Szechuan" can sound like "set you on." Many restaurants and restaurant dishes/sauces have been named…
“Go easy on the spicy Chinese food. It’ll practically Szechuan fire”
Sichuan/Szechuan/Szechwan cuisine can be spicy. "Szechuan" can sound like "set you on." Many restaurants and restaurant dishes/sauces have been named…
“If you divide 2020 by 5 you get 404, so basically this entire year is an error message”
The year 2020 had many hardships, such as the coronavirus pandemic. However, a popular joke began right at the start of the year. "If you divide 2020 by 5 you get 404, so basically this entire…
“The first rule of firearm safety is to never let the government take your guns”
"The first rule of gun safety is to never let the government take your guns" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "The first rule of firearm safety is to never…
Szechuan Fire (pun on “set you on fire”)
Sichuan/Szechuan/Szechwan cuisine can be spicy. "Szechuan" can sound like "set you on." Many restaurants and restaurant dishes/sauces have been named…
“Why are airplanes so hard to see?”/“Because they’re in disguise.”
"Disguise" can sound like "de skies" (the skies). A pun is: Q: Why are airplanes so hard to see?A: Because they're in disguise. The joke was posted on Twitter by…
“First rule of gun safety: Never let the government take your guns”
"The first rule of gun safety is to never let the government take your guns" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. "The first rule of firearm safety is to never…
Sichuan Fire (pun on “set you on fire”)
Sichuan/Szechuan/Szechwan cuisine can be spicy. "Szechuan" can sound like "set you on." Many restaurants and restaurant dishes/sauces have been named…
“The best kind of morning conversation is the one that doesn’t actually occur”
Many people do not function well in the morning. "The best kind of morning conversation, is the one that doesn't actually occur" was posted on Twitter by Piyush Wahal on October 11,…
“Why is it so hard to recognise a pilot?”/“They always travel in disguise.”
"Disguise" can sound like "de skies" (the skies). A pun is: Q: Why is it so hard to recognize a pilot?A: They always travel in disguise. The joke was posted on Reddit --…
“I wanted to go jogging but Proverbs 28:1 says, ‘the wicked run when no one is chasing them’”
"I wanted to go jogging but Proverbs 28:1 says, 'the wicked run when no one is chasing them,' so there's that" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“We’re all brave in our own way. For example, I am not afraid of raw cookie dough”
Eating raw cookie dough could have salmonella dangers, but many people still eat it. "We're all brave in our own way. For example, I am not afraid of raw cookie dough" is a jocular…
“Why is nostalgia like grammar?”/“We find the present tense and the past perfect.”
"Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson. You find the present tense and the past perfect. -- Robert Orben" was printed in the Family Weekly weekend newspaper supplement on July 5, 1974.…
“I wanted to go running but Proverbs 28:1 says, ‘the wicked run when no one is chasing them’”
"I wanted to go jogging but Proverbs 28:1 says, 'the wicked run when no one is chasing them,' so there's that" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson. You find the present tense and the past perfect”
"Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson. You find the present tense and the past perfect. -- Robert Orben" was printed in the Family Weekly weekend newspaper supplement on July 5, 1974.…
“Red wine and fish don’t mix. In fact, mine died”
Fish usually goes on menus with white wine, not red wine. When it is said that "red wine and fish don't mix," this is not meant literally, but there are jokes. "It’s true what…