“Onions are the only vegetables that fight back”
Onions, when sliced, can make people cry. "Vegetables that fight back: onions make you cry; garlic secretes vile-smelling substance all over your hands" was posted on Twitter by Stephany…
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“Vodka sausages are the Absolut wurst”
Absolut Vodka is made in southern Sweden. An "Absolut wurst" (absolute worst) pun applies to sausage-flavored vodka or vodka-flavored sausage. "Vodka sausages are the Absolut wurst.…
Black Friday Slaughter Sale
Entry in progress -- BP Wikipedia: Black Friday (1869)The Black Friday gold panic of September 24, 1869 was caused by a conspiracy between two investors, Jay Gould and his partner James Fisk, and…
“Sausage flavored vodka: Absolut Wurst”
Absolut Vodka is made in southern Sweden. An "Absolut wurst" (absolute worst) pun applies to sausage-flavored vodka or vodka-flavored sausage. "Vodka sausages are the Absolut wurst.…
“The onion is the only vegetable that fights back”
Onions, when sliced, can make people cry. "Vegetables that fight back: onions make you cry; garlic secretes vile-smelling substance all over your hands" was posted on Twitter by Stephany…
“Just passed my cheerleading exam. I went in to the exam room and said ‘Give me an A!’ so they did”
Cheerleaders often shout, "Give me a T! Give me an E! Give me an A! Give me an M! What does that spell? TEAM!" "Evening of stand-up @ Headliners.Exam joke from Milton Jones. 'I…
“Keep in mind even during a pandemic, no matter how much chocolate you eat, earrings will still fit”
"Be grateful that no matter how much chocolate you eat, your earrings will still fit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Thankful 4 so many people in my life.…
“No matter how much you eat and drink, at least your earrings will still fit you”
"Be grateful that no matter how much chocolate you eat, your earrings will still fit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Thankful 4 so many people in my life.…
“I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass”
"I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass" is a jocular put-down that has been printed on many images. Authorship is…
“Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a roll”
Many people prepare a huge Thanksgiving feast, but one person (usually a daughter) doesn't eat much. "Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a…
“I can’t speak for anyone else, but I think I’m a terrible ventriloquist”
A ventriloquist speaks for someone else -- a "dummy." "I can't speak for anyone else, but I think my ventriloquist act is going well" was posted on Twitter by This Henry…
“Everyone has a hidden talent they don’t know about until the tequila is poured”
"Everyone has a hidden talent they don't know about until the tequila is poured" -- that is, until one becomes drunk -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Can’t wait to make a huge Thanksgiving dinner so my child can eat one roll”
Many people prepare a huge Thanksgiving feast, but one person (usually a daughter) doesn't eat much. "Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a…
“People have become so brainwashed that they think health comes from masks and needles”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in the wearing of face masks and vaccines. "people have become so brainwashed that they think health comes from masks & needles" was…
“Be grateful that no matter how much chocolate you eat, your earrings will still fit”
"Be grateful that no matter how much chocolate you eat, your earrings will still fit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Thankful 4 so many people in my life.…
“Can we try turning the country off and on again?”
The 2020 COVID-19 pandemic made life difficult for many countries. "Has anyone tried turning the country off and on again?" -- something one does to a computer system -- is a joke that…
“Has anyone tried turning the country off and on again?”
The 2020 COVID-19 pandemic made life difficult for many countries. "Has anyone tried turning the country off and on again?" -- something one does to a computer system -- is a joke that…
“Who is the healthiest member of the army?”/“General Wellbeing.”
A military riddle is: Q: Who is the healthiest member of the army?A: General Wellbeing. "Who's the healthiest man in the army? General Wellbeing" was posted on Twitter by James on…
“The ‘Canadians are nice’ stereotype is funny considering their favorite sport…” (hockey joke)
A hockey joke was posted on Twitter by randy on November 20, 2020: "The 'Canadians are nice' stereotype is funny considering their favorite sport is beating the absolute fuck out of…
“If that were true it would be on the news”
"If that was/were true it would be on the news" is a saying that occurs to some people when told of some event (child trafficking, food and vaccine safety, political corruption and more).…