“Maybe vampires are only evil because they’re incapable of self reflection”
Vampires, according to legend, can't see their own reflection. This is sometimes expressed in a Halloween thought. "Vampires are arrogant because they are incapable of…
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“Why are vampires such jerks?”/“Because they are incapable of self reflection.”
Vampires, according to legend, can't see their own reflection. This is sometimes expressed in a Halloween thought. "Vampires are arrogant because they are incapable of…
“What do you call a hotel breakfast that gives you diarrhea?”/“Incontinental.”
A "continental breakfast" is a light breakfast (such as juice, cereal and pastries) that's often served in a hotel. There is no such thing as an "incontinental breakfast"…
“Area 51 is where they keep all of the Walmart cashiers”
Walmart (an American multinational retail corporation) has been compared to Area 51 (a highly classified United States Air Force facility, often associated with UFOs). "I think area 51 is…
“Life is what you make it. So make bacon”
"Life is what you make it. I like to make bacon" is a bacon saying that has been printed on many images. "LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT. I LIKE TO MAKE BACON" (shown on an image) was…
“All drugs are ‘safe and effective’ when they’re making billions of dollars”
"All drugs are safe and effective when they're making billions of dollars" was posted on Twitter by ReallyAWulf on January 14, 2021. "All drugs are 'safe and…
“Frunk as duck”
"Frunk as duck" (a spoonerism for "drunk as fuck") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Frunk As Duck So drunk, you cnt even pronounce your words properly,…
“What’s the difference between one yard and two yards?”/“A fence.”
"Yard" can mean a unit of length equal to three feet, and it can also mean the property surrounding one's house. A riddle is: Q: What's the difference between one yard and two…
“What do you call a lawyer who does karate?”/“Chop suey!”
"Chop suey" has nothing to do with lawsuits, but there are jokes. This lawyer riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on November 18, 2015: Q: What do you call a lawyer that knows…
“Yes, it is.”/“Is time travel possible?”
A time travel joke was posted on Reddit -- Shittyaskscience on April 12, 2012: "Yes it is. Is time travel possible?" Reddit -- ShittyasksciencePosted by u/SmellsLikeUpfoo April 12,…
“Life is what you make it. I like to make bacon”
"Life is what you make it. I like to make bacon" is a bacon saying that has been printed on many images. "LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT. I LIKE TO MAKE BACON" (shown on an image) was…
“I don’t need to go to Area 51. I’ve been to Walmart”
Walmart (an American multinational retail corporation) has been compared to Area 51 (a highly classified United States Air Force facility, often associated with UFOs). "I think area 51 is…
“I don’t understand how a cemetery can raise funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living”
Do cemeteries and funeral homes have "cost of living" increases? "How can cementeries and funeral homes blame their rising prices on 'the high cost of living' ?" was…
“Lifetime warranties really mean the company’s lifetime, not yours”
What is a "lifetime warranty"? People often think it's for the lifetime of the buyer, but this is usually not correct. The "lifetime" can often mean the the lifetime of the…
“Iced coffee makes me a better person”
"Coffee makes me a better person" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Iced coffee makes me a better person" is also a saying. "Iced coffee makes me a better…
“Don’t keep calm. Destroy this corrupt government”
"Keep Calm and Carry On" is a famous British World War II poster. "Don't keep calm. Destroy this corrupt/corrupted government" is a variation of the saying that has been…
“Lifetime warranty means the lifetime of the product, not your lifetime”
What is a "lifetime warranty"? People often think it's for the lifetime of the buyer, but this is usually not correct. The "lifetime" can often mean the the lifetime of the…
“I hope your favorite football team wins, so it can benefit your life in no way whatsoever”
"I hope your favorite football team wins, so it can benefit your life in no way whatsoever" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The saying means that sports -- while…
“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off”
"I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I don't need anger management I need people…
Incontinental Breakfast (incontinent + continental breakfast)
A "continental breakfast" is a light breakfast (such as juice, cereal and pastries) that's often served in a hotel. There is no such thing as an "incontinental breakfast"…