“Dear Monday, Go step on a Lego”
"Dear Monday, Go step on a Lego" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Stepping on a Lego can be painful. For many people, Monday is a painful return to the start of the work…
“Dear morning people, honest question… What the hell is wrong with you?”
"Dear morning people, honest question... What the hell is wrong with you?" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Many people cannot function well in the morning. Authorship…
“Dear non essentials that recently started going back to work….hit the gas, we drive fast now”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw some non-essential workers quarantined at home. Transportation systems became less crowded. "Dear non essentials that recently started going back to…
“Dear Plexiglass; Thank you for protecting me from the masked cashier that just touched everything”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw many retail establishments put up plexiglass between workers and customers. "Dear Plexiglas- Thanks for protecting me from the cashier that just touched…
“Dear Santa: All I want is my gross pay”
"Dear Santa: All I want is my gross pay" is a jocular Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. The saying became popular on December 16, 2020, but exact authorship is not…
“Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office—I will track you down. You have my Word”
"Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office -- I will track you down. You have my Word" is a Microsoft Office-Word pun that has been printed on many images. The joke was posted on…
“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it”
"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been credited to American stand-up comedian and…
“Definition of a Socialist: Someone who wants everything you have…except your job”
"A socialist is someone who wants everything you have, except your job" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Definition of a Socialist: Someone who wants everything you…
“Definition of stupid: Knowing the truth, seeing evidence of the truth, but still believing the lie”
"Stupidity is knowing the truth, seeing the truth but still believing the lies" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Definition of stupid: knowing the truth, seeing the…
“Definition of stupid: Knowing the truth, seeing the evidence of the truth, but still believing the lie”
"Stupidity is knowing the truth, seeing the truth but still believing the lies" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Definition of stupid: knowing the truth, seeing the…
“Definition of stupid: Knowing the truth, seeing the truth, but still believing the lies”
"Stupidity is knowing the truth, seeing the truth but still believing the lies" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Definition of stupid: knowing the truth, seeing the…
“Delay is the deadliest form of denial”
"Delay is the deadliest form of denial" was published by C. Northcote Parkinson (1909-1993) in The Times (London) in 1966, with the title of "Parkinson's Law of Delay." An…
“Dentists are going on strike. Brace yourself!”
"Brace yourself" doesn't mean to put braces on your own teeth, but there are jokes. "Dentists are going on strike...brace yourselves" was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot…
“Dentists are going on strike. Brace yourselves!”
"Brace yourself" doesn't mean to put braces on your own teeth, but there are jokes. "Dentists are going on strike...brace yourselves" was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot…
“Dentists are janitors for mouths”
"A dentist is just a janitor for someone's mouth" was posted on Twitter on March 29, 2016. "A dentist is just like a janitor for your mouth" was posted on Reddit -- Shower…
“Describe yourself in three words.”/“Lazy.”
"Describe yourself in three words."/"Lazy" is a jocular job interview that has been printed on many images. "How would you describe yourself in 3 words? — LAZY. LAZY.…
“Desktops imply the existence of deskbottoms”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterJundrick JAMar@ohGodJAMnitDesktops implies the existence of deskbottoms.11:43 AM · May 20, 2022·Twitter for Android
“Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner”
Many churches have stained windows. "I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains" was printed in The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book (2010) by English writer,…
“Did a load of pajamas so I would have clean work clothes this week”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people working from home. Many people did not even get dressed all day. "Did a load of pajamas so I would have clean work clothes this…
“Did you get a haircut?”/“No, I got them all cut.”
Getting a haircut does not mean getting a single hair cut, but the popular dad joke exchange is: WIFE: Did you get a haircut?HUSBAND: No, I got them all cut. Versions of the joke have been cited in…