“Dentists are going on strike. Brace yourself!”
"Brace yourself" doesn't mean to put braces on your own teeth, but there are jokes. "Dentists are going on strike...brace yourselves" was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot…
“Dentists are going on strike. Brace yourselves!”
"Brace yourself" doesn't mean to put braces on your own teeth, but there are jokes. "Dentists are going on strike...brace yourselves" was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot…
“Dentists are janitors for mouths”
"A dentist is just a janitor for someone's mouth" was posted on Twitter on March 29, 2016. "A dentist is just like a janitor for your mouth" was posted on Reddit -- Shower…
“Describe yourself in three words.”/“Lazy.”
"Describe yourself in three words."/"Lazy" is a jocular job interview that has been printed on many images. "How would you describe yourself in 3 words? — LAZY. LAZY.…
“Desktops imply the existence of deskbottoms”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterJundrick JAMar@ohGodJAMnitDesktops implies the existence of deskbottoms.11:43 AM · May 20, 2022·Twitter for Android
“Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner”
Many churches have stained windows. "I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains" was printed in The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book (2010) by English writer,…
“Did a load of pajamas so I would have clean work clothes this week”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people working from home. Many people did not even get dressed all day. "Did a load of pajamas so I would have clean work clothes this…
“Did you get a haircut?”/“No, I got them all cut.”
Getting a haircut does not mean getting a single hair cut, but the popular dad joke exchange is: WIFE: Did you get a haircut?HUSBAND: No, I got them all cut. Versions of the joke have been cited in…
“Did you hear about the carpenter who drank on the job? He got hammered”
"I used to go out with a carpenter. He got hammered every night" is a drinking pun that was posted on Twitter by TrishB on November 15, 2010. "Did you hear about the carpenter who…
“Did you hear about the funeral home that closed? Apparently business was dead”
The expression "business is dead" is usually not taken literally, but there are some jokes. "I have a friend who just got a job as an attendant at a funeral home...he informed me…
“Did you hear about the wig shop that got robbed? They’re looking into replacing all the locks”
"My wig shop got broken into last night. I've had to replace all the locks" was posted on Twitter by MR SUPERPIDGE on January 28, 2014. The joke is that "locks" can also…
“Did you know all fishermen are Marxists? Because the sea’s the means of production”
"Seize the means of production" is a Marxist saying. "Sea's the means of production" might be a Marxist fisherman's saying. "Socialism for fishermen: seas the…
“Difficult difficult lemon difficult” (opposite of “easy peasy lemon squeezy”)
“Easy peasy lemon squeezy” is a way of saying that something is easy. "Difficult difficult lemon difficult" (or "When you thought everything would be easy peasy lemon squeezy,…
“Digging tunnels is a boring job”
A pun on "boring job" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on September 23, 2000: "If you operate a drill press, you have a boring job. (Pun of the Day)" "Digging…
“Disability is not inability” (“Disability does not mean inability”)
"Disability is not inability" (or "disability does not mean inability") is a popular saying about people with disabilities. "Disability does not mean inability" was…
“Discipline is doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, when we don’t want to do it”
"Discipline is doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, when we don't want to do it" is a printed saying that became popular in 2012. The origin is uncertain.…
“Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most”
"Discipline is (just) choosing between what you want now and what you want most" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "'Discipline is choosing…
“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment”
"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment(s)" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Discipline is the bridge between thoughts and accomplishments"…
“Distrust every enterprise that requires new clothes”
"Distrust every enterprise that requires new clothes" is a paraphrase of what American author Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) wrote in Walden: or Life in the Woods (1854): "I say,…
“Do dragons enjoy playing offices and accountants?”
Dungeons and Dragons is a fantasy tabletop role-playing game. Offices & Bosses is another role-playing game. "If we play D&D...do Dragons play 'Offices & Humans' in their…