“Buy the best and cry only once”
"Buy the best and cry only once" (BTBCOO) means that a customer cries once at the high price, but doesn't cry again (because the higher price meant greater quality). It is not clear…
“Buying myself a little treat today because today would have been my birthday if I was born today”
"Today would have been my birthday if I was born today" (or "Today would've been my birthday if I was born today") is a saying -- with variations -- that has been printed…
“Buying something nice for myself because today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today”
"Today would have been my birthday if I was born today" (or "Today would've been my birthday if I was born today") is a saying -- with variations -- that has been printed…
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually be the boss and work twelve hours”
"By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day" was in the newspaper column "Editorial Epigrams" by Robert Quillen…
“Cabinet installer arrested! Charged with counter fitting”
"Counterfeiting" shouldn't be confused with "counter fitting," but there are jokes. "Two men were arrested for aligning granite slabs in a kitchen. They were charged…
“Calling All Men,” “Select, Don’t Settle,” “No Bunk. No Junk. No Imitations” (Barney’s)
Barney's clothing store has had a few slogans. "No bunk. No junk. No imitations" was the first one, from 1923-24. "Calling all men...to Barney's" is its famous sloagn…
“Calling your life a journey doesn’t make it any less of a disaster”
“Calling your life a journey doesn’t make it any less of a disaster” was posted on Twitter by Eva on February 15, 2018. It's not known who originated the saying. It's often stated…
“Can anyone tell me what oblivious means? I have no idea”
"Can someone please explain to me what oblivious means because I have no idea" is a joke that has been printed on several images. "Can anyone tell me what oblivious means? I have no…
“Can someone please explain to me what oblivious means because I have no idea”
"Can someone please explain to me what oblivious means because I have no idea" is a joke that has been printed on several images. "Can anyone tell me what oblivious means? I have no…
“Can’t wait to get off work, then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer…”
A joke about work is: "Can’t wait to get off work—then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer, and go stare at a different computer." The line was posted on Twitter by Colin…
“Cannibals take being a people person to one fucked-up level”
A "people person" is someone who interacts well with other people. Companies often want to hire "people persons" who like people, but cannibals also "like" people. A…
“Capitalism without failure is like religion without sin. It doesn’t work”
One unnamed Reagan administration regulator was against bailing out America's savings and loans, saying in June 1981, "Capitalism without failure is like Christianity without hell."…
“Car boot sales are a great place to find extra stuff for you to throw away when you move”
Garage sales ("car boot sales" in the United Kingdom are similar) often just transfer used goods -- "junk" in some people's opinions -- from one house to another.…
“Carvers are starvers” (carving adage)
The carving trade (such as wood carving or stone carving) has an old saying -- "carvers are starvers" -- indicating that its workers are not well paid. "Carvers are starvers"…
“Cashier wanted. Must be 18 years old with 20 years experience”
"Cashier wanted. Must be 18 years old with 20 years experience" is a jocular sign posting -- probably a typo for "2 years experience." The sign was posted on both iFunny and…
“Cashier: The self-checkout is available. Customer: I don’t work here.”
Many people don't like self-checkout and would rather go to a cashier. "I don't work here!" is a popular customer comment. "No, I don't want to self checkout. I…
“Cashier: Will that be all? Me: No, I need to buy more stuff. I just wanted to show you what I’ve got so far”
Some customers add sarcasm ad the checkout counter. This was posted on Facebook by Crystal Delain on October 10, 2023: "Cashier : Will that be all? Me: No, I need to buy more stuff. I just…
“Catastrophe: when a taxidermist mounts the wrong end of the lion”
"Catastrophe" shouldn't be confused with "cat ass trophy," but there are jokes. "I thought a catastrophe was when the taxidermist stuffed the wrong end ofthat cougar…
“Cats: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever”
"Pets: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. People come home after a bad day at work (or school) and are greeted by their pets.…
“Caution: When someone says get a grip, apparently around their neck is NOT what they meant”
"Caution: When someone says get a grip, apparently around their neck is NOT what they meant" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "CAUTION: When someone says get…