"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been credited to American…
A plastic surgery joke is about "new faces." "S/O to all the new members on Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. Wow! I see a lot of new faces in the room" was posted on Twitter…
"Welcome to the shit show. Hope you brought alcohol" (or "Welcome to the shitshow. Hope you brought alcohol") is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means…
"Welcome to the shit show. Hope you brought alcohol" (or "Welcome to the shitshow. Hope you brought alcohol") is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means…
Telephone help lines often experience "high call volumes." A joke was posted on Twitter by Richard Davidson on October 26, 2015 and The Standup's Daily Gag Feed on October 28, 2015:…
"Welcome to Wednesday: the day when your brain goes on vacation, but your body has to stay at work. It’s a struggle, but we’re still here, doing… something, kind of" was posted on…
Some paychecks never seem to be enough, and some people feel like they are never enough. "Well slap my ass and call me a paycheck, cause I’m never enough" was posted on Twitter by $.o.$…
Many people put off December work for the new year, in January. A January saying was posted on X/Twitter by Mollie Goodfellow on January 3, 2023, and this received over 46,000 likes: "well,…
A "porcupine" (a mammal) has nothing to do with a "poor queue," but there have been puns. "A prickly tree standing in line with other trees waiting for a handout during the…
Christmas is a big business season, and many children patiently wait for Christmas Day presents. Someone who is waiting for someone else to do a task might say, "Do I have to wait all year for…
UPS (the United Parcel Service) introduced the trademarked slogan "What can Brown do for you?" in February 2002. UPS has used brown-painted vehicles since the 1920s; by at least the…
"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" has been credited to American pastor and motivational speaker Robert H. Schuller (1926-2015). Schuller used the line many…
"Black Friday" is the Friday following Thanksgiving, a traditional start of the Christmas shopping season. It's sometimes suggested that the following Saturday or Sunday should be…
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
"Lighthouse work" is sometimes confused with "light housework." "That's 'light housework', not 'lighthouse work'. but I can see why you might get…
An artist riddle is: Q: What did the tired artist say?A: "I'm all drawn out." "What did the tired artist say? I'm drawn out" was posted on Twitter by "dad…
"Oh snap!" means the same as "Oh, shit!" or "Oh, no!" It usually doesn't involve snapping, but there's a joke: "Q: What did the worker at the rubber…
An accountant riddle is: Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?A: Depreciation. The joke was posted on the newsgroup uw.acct.acc131 on November 24, 1997. Google Groups:…
"Earner" shouldn't be confused with "urner," but there are jokes. "Q: What's the name of the yearly prize given out to the world's most successful…
Walmart stores are often open 24 hours a day. "Sluts are like Walmart.Everybody makes fun of them,but at 4am when ur inside of 1,ur like 'I'm kinda glad these are around'(Joke…