“Calling your life a journey doesn’t make it any less of a disaster”
“Calling your life a journey doesn’t make it any less of a disaster” was posted on Twitter by Eva on February 15, 2018. It's not known who originated the saying. It's often stated…
“Can anyone tell me what oblivious means? I have no idea”
"Can someone please explain to me what oblivious means because I have no idea" is a joke that has been printed on several images. "Can anyone tell me what oblivious means? I have no…
“Can someone please explain to me what oblivious means because I have no idea”
"Can someone please explain to me what oblivious means because I have no idea" is a joke that has been printed on several images. "Can anyone tell me what oblivious means? I have no…
“Can’t wait to get off work, then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer…”
A joke about work is: "Can’t wait to get off work—then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer, and go stare at a different computer." The line was posted on Twitter by Colin…
“Cannibals take being a people person to one fucked-up level”
A "people person" is someone who interacts well with other people. Companies often want to hire "people persons" who like people, but cannibals also "like" people. A…
“Capitalism without failure is like religion without sin. It doesn’t work”
One unnamed Reagan administration regulator was against bailing out America's savings and loans, saying in June 1981, "Capitalism without failure is like Christianity without hell."…
“Carvers are starvers” (carving adage)
The carving trade (such as wood carving or stone carving) has an old saying -- "carvers are starvers" -- indicating that its workers are not well paid. "Carvers are starvers"…
“Cashier wanted. Must be 18 years old with 20 years experience”
"Cashier wanted. Must be 18 years old with 20 years experience" is a jocular sign posting -- probably a typo for "2 years experience." The sign was posted on both iFunny and…
“Cashier: The self-checkout is available. Customer: I don’t work here.”
Many people don't like self-checkout and would rather go to a cashier. "I don't work here!" is a popular customer comment. "No, I don't want to self checkout. I…
“Catastrophe: when a taxidermist mounts the wrong end of the lion”
"Catastrophe" shouldn't be confused with "cat ass trophy," but there are jokes. "I thought a catastrophe was when the taxidermist stuffed the wrong end ofthat cougar…
“Cats: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever”
"Pets: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. People come home after a bad day at work (or school) and are greeted by their pets.…
“Caution: When someone says get a grip, apparently around their neck is NOT what they meant”
"Caution: When someone says get a grip, apparently around their neck is NOT what they meant" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "CAUTION: When someone says get…
“Ceiling fans are really just helicopters who gave up on their dreams and opted for an office job”
Ceiling fans are sometimes compared to helicopter blades. "Ceiling fans are just helicopter blades that didn't study hard enough... Via @sixthformpoet" was posted on Twitter by…
“Chalk it up to experience”
"Chalk it all up to experience" is what is sometimes said after a loss. Chalk boards were used in sports to keep score, but it is not clear if the expression comes from sports.…
“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable”
"Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. American motivational speaker…
“Changing Lives Since 1812” (New York City Mission Society)
The New York City Mission Society is one of New York's oldest organizations. It began in 1812 as the New York Religious Tract Society. "Changing Lives Since 1812" is its proud…
“Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow”
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) is frequently quoted for having said: "Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it, but the tree is the real…
“Character is what you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose”
"Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose" is a saying that has been included in many lists of quotations. Dr. Roy L. Smith, a Methodist minister and…
“Chase your passion, not your pension”
American motivational speaker and author Denis Waitley wrote in Empires of the Mind (1996) that the actor Edward James Olmos was the commencement speaker at his daughter's graduation. Olmos…
“Cheap service isn’t good and good service isn’t cheap”
"Cheap work isn't good and good work isn't cheap" is a saying displayed in many businesses. "If it's good it isn't cheap -- If it's cheap it isn't…