“The only problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back”
"The only problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back" is a jocular saying about troubleshooting. "The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back" was…
“The only thing he brought to this job was his car”
People bring their talents to their jobs. "The only thing he/she brought to the job was his/her car" is a work insult. "The only thing he brought to this job was his car." was…
“The only thing i have planned for today is to get my new glasses. Then I’ll see what happens”
Many people wait to "see what happens," but that's usually not taken literally. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on December 30, 2019: "The only thing I have planned for…
“The only thing I’m not good at is modesty, because I’m great at it”
"But then, I’m good at everything....Except modesty. Subtlety too" is a joke that was posted on the newsgroup alt.teens.intelligent.insanity on July 27, 2000. "I am so incredibly…
“The only thing stopping me from smashing my alarmclock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone”
"The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work”
"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work" is a jocular saying that has been printed on images. The saying was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…
“The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying”
"The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying. Other than that, watch out" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The only time a woman is helpless…
“The only way to get ahead is to decapitate someone”
"To get ahead" should not be confused with "to get a head," but there are jokes. "To get ahead in this world, you'd probably have to decapitate someone" was…
“The opening ceremony for my ribbon repair business was pretty confusing”
Many businesses are opened by a ribbon-cutting ceremony. But what if the business is repairing ribbons? "The opening ceremony for my ribbon repair business was pretty confusing" was…
“The operation was successful, but the patient died”
"The operation was successful, but the patient died" (or "the operation was a success, but the patient died") is an old joke in the medical profession that has also been used to…
“The opposite of ‘easy peasy lemon squeezy’ is ‘stressed depressed lemon zest’”
“Easy peasy lemon squeezy” is a way of saying that something is easy. "Difficult difficult lemon difficult" (or "When you thought everything would be easy peasy lemon squeezy,…
“The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist invents the parachute”
Entry in progress -- B.P.English novelist Glabys Bronwyn Stern or G. B. Stern (1890-1973) Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) 7 September 1967, Scottsdale (AZ) Progress, "Here and…
“The origami shop says business is in creasing”
"Increasing" shouldn't be confused with "in creasing," but there are origami puns. "RT @SpacemanQuisp I think the popularity of origami is in creasing" was posted…
“The past is your lesson. The present is your gift. The future is your motivation”
"The past is your lesson. The present is your gift. The future is your motivation" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on June…
“The path of inner peace begins with four words: not my fucking problem”
"The path of/to inner peace begins with four words: not my fucking problem" (or "The path to inner peace begins with three words" not my problem") is a saying that has been…
“The path to inner peace begins with 3 words: not my problem”
"The path of/to inner peace begins with four words: not my fucking problem" (or "The path to inner peace begins with three words" not my problem") is a saying that has been…
“The path to inner peace begins with four words: not my fucking problem”
"The path of/to inner peace begins with four words: not my fucking problem" (or "The path to inner peace begins with three words" not my problem") is a saying that has been…
“The path to inner peace begins with three words: not my problem”
"The path of/to inner peace begins with four words: not my fucking problem" (or "The path to inner peace begins with three words" not my problem") is a saying that has been…
“The pathway to glory is strewn with pitfalls and dangers” (Per Ardua ad Astra)
New York author Ingersoll Lockwood (1841-1918), who wrote the books Travels and Adventures of Little Baron Trump and his Wonderful Dog Bulger and 1900, or, The Last President (1896), had renewed…
“The pay stinks, but the benefits are out of this world” (religious work joke)
A popular joke is said about religious work (particularly in Christianity): "The pay stinks, but the benefits are out of this world." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968…