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December 25, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthWork/Businesses

“The only person coming to save you is the version of yourself that’s tired of your current situation”

"The only person coming to save you is the version of yourself that's tired of your current situation" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that there…

December 25, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthWork/Businesses

“The only person who is coming to save you is the version of you that is sick of the current version of you”

"The only person coming to save you is the version of yourself that's tired of your current situation" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that there…

December 4, 2015
Work/Businesses

“The only person who likes change is a baby with a wet diaper”

"The only person who likes change is a baby with a wet diaper" is a saying that his frequently used in politics and in business. The authorship is unknown. “The only person who…

December 5, 2011
Work/Businesses

“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary”

"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary" is a saying that dates to at least 1953. The saying means that work leads to success; success doesn't come without…

October 29, 2013
Work/Businesses

“The only problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back”

"The only problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back" is a jocular saying about troubleshooting. "The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back" was…

September 10, 2016
Work/Businesses

“The only thing he brought to this job was his car”

People bring their talents to their jobs. "The only thing he/she brought to the job was his/her car" is a work insult. "The only thing he brought to this job was his car." was…

March 3, 2020
Work/Businesses

“The only thing i have planned for today is to get my new glasses. Then I’ll see what happens”

Many people wait to "see what happens," but that's usually not taken literally. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on December 30, 2019: "The only thing I have planned for…

November 1, 2019
Work/Businesses

“The only thing I’m not good at is modesty, because I’m great at it”

"But then, I’m good at everything....Except modesty. Subtlety too" is a joke that was posted on the newsgroup alt.teens.intelligent.insanity on July 27, 2000. "I am so incredibly…

May 31, 2017
Work/Businesses

“The only thing stopping me from smashing my alarmclock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone”

"The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…

August 14, 2017
Work/Businesses

“The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work”

"The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work" is a jocular saying that has been printed on images. The saying was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…

August 5, 2017
Work/Businesses

“The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying”

"The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying. Other than that, watch out" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The only time a woman is helpless…

October 10, 2020
Work/Businesses

“The only way to get ahead is to decapitate someone”

"To get ahead" should not be confused with "to get a head," but there are jokes. "To get ahead in this world, you'd probably have to decapitate someone" was…

January 28, 2019
Work/Businesses

“The opening ceremony for my ribbon repair business was pretty confusing”

Many businesses are opened by a ribbon-cutting ceremony. But what if the business is repairing ribbons? "The opening ceremony for my ribbon repair business was pretty confusing" was…

January 11, 2015
Work/Businesses

“The operation was successful, but the patient died”

"The operation was successful, but the patient died" (or "the operation was a success, but the patient died") is an old joke in the medical profession that has also been used to…

September 15, 2024
Work/Businesses

“The opposite of ‘easy peasy lemon squeezy’ is ‘stressed depressed lemon zest’”

“Easy peasy lemon squeezy” is a way of saying that something is easy. "Difficult difficult lemon difficult" (or "When you thought everything would be easy peasy lemon squeezy,…

October 28, 2015
Work/Businesses

“The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist invents the parachute”

Entry in progress -- B.P.English novelist Glabys Bronwyn Stern or G. B. Stern (1890-1973) Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) 7 September 1967, Scottsdale (AZ) Progress, "Here and…

March 6, 2024
Work/Businesses

“The origami shop says business is in creasing”

"Increasing" shouldn't be confused with "in creasing," but there are origami puns. "RT @SpacemanQuisp I think the popularity of origami is in creasing" was posted…

May 21, 2017
Work/Businesses

“The past is your lesson. The present is your gift. The future is your motivation”

"The past is your lesson. The present is your gift. The future is your motivation" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on June…

April 17, 2022
Work/Businesses

“The path of inner peace begins with four words: not my fucking problem”

"The path of/to inner peace begins with four words: not my fucking problem" (or "The path to inner peace begins with three words" not my problem") is a saying that has been…

April 18, 2022
Work/Businesses

“The path to inner peace begins with 3 words: not my problem”

"The path of/to inner peace begins with four words: not my fucking problem" (or "The path to inner peace begins with three words" not my problem") is a saying that has been…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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