“I wake up with a good attitude every morning. Then idiots happen”
"I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I wake up with a good attitude everyday, but then idiots…
“I wanna be nice, but then people happen”
"I wanna be nice, but then people happen" is a saying that has been printed on many images. FacebookMore Crazy StuffMarch 30, 2023 at 5:58 PM · (The following text is shown on an image.…
“I want to be a nice person, but everyone is just so stupid”
"I want to be a nice person, but everyone is just so stupid" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I want to be a nice person, but people are just so fucking…
“I want to be a nice person, but everyone is so stupid”
"I want to be a nice person, but everyone is just so stupid" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I want to be a nice person, but people are just so fucking…
“I want to be a nice person, but people are so stupid”
"I want to be a nice person, but everyone is just so stupid" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I want to be a nice person, but people are just so fucking…
“I want to open a two dollar store for people that enjoy the finer things”
What's classier than a dollar store? "I want to open a two dollar store for people that enjoy the finer things" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images.…
“I wanted to be a stenographer, but they told me they are not short-handed at the moment”
A stenography pun is: "I wanted to be a stenographer, but they told me they are not short-handed at the moment." The "short-handed" joke has been cited in print since at least…
“I wanted to do panic buying, I checked my account… I can only panic”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused panic buying in many stores. "U can only panic buy if ur loaded. I won't be panic buying" was posted on Twitter by jacqueline shirley on…
“I wanted to do some panic buying today, but after checking my bank account all I can do is panic”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused panic buying in many stores. "U can only panic buy if ur loaded. I won't be panic buying" was posted on Twitter by jacqueline shirley on…
“I wanted to give a fuck today, but it clashes with my outfit”
"I wanted to give a fuck today, but it clashes with my outfit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I wanted to give a fuck today but it clashes with my…
“I wanted to place a bid at the silent auction, but it was not aloud”
A joke about a silent auction was posted on the website Pun of the Day on May 20, 2018: "I wanted to bid at the silent auction, but it was not aloud." The bid was not "aloud" (a…
“I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains”
Many churches have stained windows. "I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains" was printed in The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book (2010) by English writer,…
“I was dismissed from my job as an apprentice executioner because I just couldn’t get the hang of it”
Some people who work or who go to school can't "get the hang of it" (understand it). This expression usually has nothing to do with hanging, but there are jokes. "Why was the…
“I was fired from my job yesterday for being a pervert. I don’t understand; I’m always hard at work”
"Hard at work" is a saying that can also have a sexual connotation. "I got fired from my job as a porn actor because i wasnt always hard at work" was posted on Twitter on August…
“I was fired from the keyboard factory today. I wasn’t putting in enough shifts”
There is a pun about work "shifts." "I got fired for putting in extra shifts at work. It's what you get for working in a keyboard factory" was posted on Twitter on March…
“I was given a book the other day on anger management. I lost it”
"I was given a book the other day on anger management. I lost it" is a jocular saying -- the "it" can refer to a lost book or a lost anger -- that has been printed on several…
“I was going to make a joke about carpentry, but can’t think of any that wood work”
"Woodwork" sounds like "would work." "I'd also tell a joke about carpentry but I'm not sure it woodwork" was posted on Twitter by Amarachi on April 14, 2015.…
“I was thinking about starting an awning company, but that’s a pretty shady business to get into”
There are several jokes that making awnings is a "shady" business. "Because a man makes awnings it doesn't always follow that he is engaged in a shady business" was printed…
“I wasn’t surprised when I was fired from my graffiti removal job. I saw the writing on the wall”
Many employees see "the writing on the wall" at their places of employment, an idiom meaning that the employment situation might be ending soon. A joke takes the idiom literally. "my…
“i wasn’t made to work a 9-5, i was made to swim in turquoise waters, eat fruit, and paint in a villa by the sea”
"i wasn’t made to work a 9-5, i was made to swim in turquoise waters, eat fruit, and paint in a villa by the sea" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is an…