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October 4, 2016
Transportation

“A lot of women are turning into good drivers. If you’re a good driver, watch out for turning women”

Many jokes from the 1950s and 1960s portray women as bad drivers. A more modern joke is: "A lot of women are turning into good drivers. So, if you're a good driver, watch out for turning…

February 24, 2015
Transportation

“A magician was driving down the road. Then he turned into a driveway”

A popular joke involves a magician and transportation: "A magician was driving down the road. Then he turned into a driveway." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007.…

June 24, 2017
Transportation

“A man is washing the car with his son. The son asks, ‘Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?’”

"Have just washed the car with my son (well, I couldn’t find a sponge)....ba-dum TISH!" is a joke about washing the car that was posted on Twitter on June 12, 2009. "I was washing…

July 29, 2020
Transportation

“A man on a tractor drove past me shouting, ‘The end of the world is nigh!’ It was Farmer Geddon”

"Armageddon" should not be confused with "Farmer Geddon," but there are jokes. "Bloke on a tractor just went past shouting 'It's the end of the world; ... I think…

April 30, 2023
Transportation

“A man was seriously injured today after being run over by a reversing car….” (joke)

Police often ask for someone involved in an incident to "come forward" -- that is, to talk to the police. "Come forward" is meant literally in some "reversing car"…

November 13, 2019
Transportation

“A model railroad is never finished” (adage)

"A model railroad/railway never finished" is a saying in the hobby of model railroading. There is always something to add or to remove or to modify. "The section gang always needs…

November 12, 2019
Transportation

“A model railway is never finished” (adage)

"A model railroad/railway never finished" is a saying in the hobby of model railroading. There is always something to add or to remove or to modify. "The section gang always needs…

November 28, 2017
Transportation

“A mother gave birth during flight. The baby was airborne”

The word "airborne" has had some born-on-an-airplane "air born" puns. "My doctor friend helped deliver a baby during a flight, it's safe to say the baby was…

October 14, 2017
Transportation

“A naked woman gets into a taxi…” (jokes)

A joke involves a cab driver -- usually a New York City taxi driver -- who picks up a naked woman. The driver stares. "Something wrong? Haven't you seen a naked women before?" the…

July 19, 2015
Transportation

“A New Yorker learns to drive by yelling ‘taxi’”

Many New Yorkers do not own cars, but prefer to take a taxi or the subway, or to just walk. A joke is that a New Yorker learns how to drive by raising an arm and hailing a taxi. The joke…

January 8, 2016
Transportation

“A pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons left in the tank”

Some people continue to drive their cars when the gas gauge reads "empty," thinking that a gallon or two is still left in the tank. The Wall Street Journal originated a frequently…

November 30, 2017
Transportation

“A penguin walks into an airport…” (joke)

Penguins are flightless birds. An airport joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 11, 2015: "A penguin walks into an airport... A TSA officer stops him and says 'Penguins…

September 12, 2018
Transportation

“A pilot is just a flying bus driver”

An airline pilot is sometimes called a "flying bus driver." "Remember that most of the time, a pilot is a very well trained flying bus driver" was posted on the newsgroup…

September 22, 2012
Transportation

“A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works”

"A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works" was written by Bill Vaughan (1915-1977), a columnist who specialized in aphorisms, in September…

August 13, 2013
Transportation

“A reckless driver is one who passes you, in spite of all you can do”

"A reckless driver is one who passes you, in spite of all you can do" is a jocular one-line saying that has been cited in print since January 1924. The saying was printed in a syndicated…

July 28, 2016
Transportation

“A subatomic particle refused to pay bus fare. It just lepton”

"Lepton" (a particle) sounds like "leapt on," leading to several puns. "How did the electron travel to london? It just lepton the train" was posted on Twitter on…

July 24, 2016
Transportation

“A taxi is not a restaurant” (joke)

A taxi is not a restaurant, and there's a joke: "A man enters a taxi with a hot dog. The driver says, 'Excuse me, but this is not a restaurant.' The guy replies, 'I know.…

March 9, 2020
Transportation

“A train is like a moving waiting room”

Various forms of transportation have been described as "a moving waiting room." "Traveling is kind of like sitting in a moving waiting room" was posted on Reddit --…

November 3, 2012
Transportation

“A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense”

"A tree never hits an automobile...except in self-defense" is a humorous one-line saying that has been printed on several posters. The saying was probably coined by Arnold H. Glasow…

March 6, 2024
Food/DrinkTransportation

“A truck full of pepper mills has crashed on the highway. The traffic has ground to a halt”

A pepper mill joke about grinding has a UK version ("lorry") and a US version ("truck"). "A lorry has shed it's load of pepper mills on the M1. Traffic has ground to a…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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