“People say time is money. Well, I don’t buy that for a second”
"Time is money" is a proverb that was popularized by Benjamin Franklin (1705-1790). A joke was posted by Steven W Skinner on Twitter on January 18, 2016: "People say time is money-…
“People think grass don’t be wet in the morning, but it dew”
"Dew" shouldn't be confused with "do," but there are jokes. "People don't think the grass be wet in the morning, but it dew" was posted on Twitter by…
“People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event”
"People treat New Year's like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it's probably still going to suck tomorrow" is a jocular New Year's saying…
“People who haven’t pooped yet today, why are you still holding on to last year’s shit?”
"People who haven’t pooped in 2019 yet, why are you still holding on to last years shit?" was posted on Reddit -- AskReddit on January 1, 2019, and went viral (over 220,000 likes). The…
“People who say ‘good morning’ should be forced to prove it”
"Good morning!" is a common greeting. "What's good about it?" is a frequent -- and usually unwelcome -- response. "People who say 'Good morning' should be…
“People who use the wrong words sometimes should have the humidity to admit it”
"Humidity" shouldn't be confused with "humility." A joke was posted on Twitter by Nick on August 7, 2013: "People who use the wrong words sometimes should have the…
“Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down”
"Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Perhaps…
“Poop before midnight. You don’t want to be carrying the same shit into the new year”
"Make sure u poop before midnight. U dont wanna start the new year wit the same shit" was posted on Twitter by Slim The Phenom on December 31, 2009. The advice is given on December 31st,…
“Pretty rude that it’s not Friday, but ok”
"Pretty rude that it's not Friday, but ok" is a non-Friday saying that has been printed on many images. "Very rude that it's not Friday" was posted on Twitter by KiKi…
“Pretty sure the heat index today is somewhere between boob sweat and Satan’s anus”
"Pretty sure the heat index today is somewhere between boob sweat and Satan's anus" is a jocular heat saying that has been printed on Someecards. "Pretty sure the heat index is…
“Purpose is an incredible alarm clock”
"Purpose is an incredible alarm clock" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Purpose is an amazing alarm clock. Shine bright today everybody" was…
“Reasons why fall is #1:...bugs have returned to hell where they belong”
Many people hate bugs. The bugs disappear in the winter season. "My favorite thing about the fall season is that BUGS HAVE RETURNED TO HELL WHERE THEY CAME FROM" was posted on Twitter by…
“Red wine doesn’t need to be refrigerated. Follow me for more hurricane tips”
"Hurricane Reminder: Red wine doesn't need to be refrigerated" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Hurricane tip: Red wine does not need to be…
“Regret to announce that we’ve reached Wrong Coat season. Every coat you wear from now til mid April will be The Wrong Coat for the weather”
In the spring (March and April), it can be difficult to figure out what coat or jacket to wear. “Welcome to spring, where no matter what jacket you pick, you’re wrong” is a saying.…
“Remember that level of Super Mario 3, where the sun is trying to kill you? That’s today”
"Remember that level of Super Mario 3, where the sun is trying to kill you? That's Florida/Texas/today" is a hot weather saying that has been printed on many images. Super Mario…
“Remember to drink lots of water and stay indoors between 11:00 a.m. and November 1st”
"Remember to drink lots of water and stay indoors between 11:00 a.m. and November 1st" is a jocular summer saying that has been printed on many images. The joke begins with the hours of a…
“Remember to drink lots of water and stay indoors between 11:00 a.m. and November 2nd”
"Remember to drink lots of water and stay indoors between 11:00 a.m. and November 1st" is a jocular summer saying that has been printed on many images. The joke begins with the hours of a…
“Rent, Bills, Cinco De Mayo, Mother’s Day, and Memorial Day weekend… Who Tf put this month together?”
"Rent, Bills, Cinco De Mayo, Mother's Day, and Memorial Day weekend… Who Tf put this month together?" is a May saying that has been printed on many images. "Cinco de mayo,…
“Roman numerals to be phased out—not on my watch”
Some people like Roman numerals (and have them on a wristwatch), and others don't like Roman numerals. "Roman Numerals? Not on my watch!" was posted on Twitter by Vadim Revzin on…
“Roman numerals? Not on my watch”
Some people like Roman numerals (and have them on a wristwatch), and others don't like Roman numerals. "Roman Numerals? Not on my watch!" was posted on Twitter by Vadim Revzin on…