“The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF”
"The heat index is somewhere between OMG (Oh My God! -- ed.) and WTF (What The Fuck? -- ed.)" -- that is to say, it's very hot -- is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“The high for today was 54. The low was eating an entire batch of cookies”
A food joke starts with the weather -- "The high for today was..." The next line refers to unhealthy eating: "The low was..." The many forms of the saying have been printed on…
“The high for today was 75. The low was when I ate a whole sleeve of Thin Mints”
A food joke starts with the weather -- "The high for today was..." The next line refers to unhealthy eating: "The low was..." The many forms of the saying have been printed on…
“The hot air hurts my face”
"The air hurts my face. Why am I living where the air hurts my face?" -- usually meaning that the winter air is very cold, possibly causing frostbite -- is a saying that has been printed…
“The job requires me to get a potato clock” (get up at eight o’clock)
An old joke has a person seek to purchase a "potato clock" because he or she was told to "get up at eight o'clock." The mondegreen has been cited in print since at least…
“The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on”
How long is a minute? "The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on," according to an old joke. "The length of a minute depends on which side of…
“The moon landing never happened! It’s still in the sky”
The "moon landing" means a person landing on the moon. "Moon landing" does not mean that the moon is landing, but there are jokes. "The moon landing never happened the moon…
“The next forecast with the words ‘ice’ and ‘salt’ better be a damn margarita recipe”
"The next forecast with the words 'ice' and 'salt' better be a (damn) margarita recipe" is a jocular saying about a winter weather forecast that has been printed on…
“The only people who love Mondays are the ones who date their colleagues”
"The only people who love Mondays are the ones who date their colleagues" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Monday is the traditional start of the work week. "The…
“The only thing that travels faster than light is weekends”
"The only thing that travels faster than light is weekends" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Ok, so why is it that the weekends whiz by faster than light…
“The phrase ‘it’s not opposite day’ is always true”
On "Opposite Day," people say the reverse of what is true. "5th grade revelation: 'It's not opposite day' is always true" was posted on Twitter on July 22, 2011.…
“The punchline comes before the question. What’s the worst part about time traveling jokes?”
Time travel jokes are difficult. "You know the punchline before you're ever told the joke. What's the worst part about time traveling jokes?" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on…
“The reason there’s a February 29 is because it takes a full day to explain what a leap year is”
"The reason there’s a February 29 is because it takes a full day to explain what the fuck a leap year is" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an ecard. "The reason…
“The rotation of the earth really makes my day”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterMichael Tucker@tichaelmuckerEarth's axial rotation period totally makes my day.3:18 PM - 19 Oct 2010 TwitterJim M.@jemappellejimboEarth's rotation…
“The season of leggings and yoga pants is upon us”
"The season of leggings and yoga pants is upon us" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, summer is over and it's autumn. "'Makay, the season of…
“The spring blossoms get you out of your head and out working in the garden”
"April is the kindest month. April gets you out of your head and out working in the garden" and "The spring blossoms get you out of your head and out working in the garden" are…
“The temperature went from 90 to 55 like it saw a state trooper” (summer to fall)
"The temperature/weather just went from 90 to 55 like it saw a state trooper" (a quick transition from summer to fall) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Speeding…
“The third hand on a clock is also the second hand”
Many non-digital clocks have three hands -- an "hour" hand, a "minute" hand and a "second" hand. A joke is that the "third hand" is the "second…
“The trouble with the last snowfall of the season is that you can’t be sure”
Around the end of March or the beginning of April, many people announce "the last snowfall/snowstorm of the season" -- and then it often snows again a few days later. "The trouble…
“The TV told me that if I eat bugs and enslave myself on behalf of the ruling 1% that the weather will get gooder….”
"The tv told me that if I eat bugs and pay more money to the government the weather will be gooder" is a popular meme. The meme shows the Ralph Wiggum character from the animated…