“Who fixes time machines?”/“A quantum mechanic.”
"Quantum mechanics" shouldn't be confused with "auto mechanics," but there are jokes. "There is a hoary old joke: What do you call a physicist who works on quantum…
“Whoever love Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate”
"Whoever love(s) Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate" is a Monday saying that has been prrrinted on many images. Monday is the traditional start of the work week.…
“Whoever loves Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate”
"Whoever love(s) Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate" is a Monday saying that has been prrrinted on many images. Monday is the traditional start of the work week.…
“Why are people so tired on April 1st?”/“Because they just finished a 31-day March.”
A popular April riddle is: Q: Why are people so tired on April 1st?A: Because they just finished a 31-day March. The joke -- often involving soldiers or scouts -- has been cited in print since at…
“Why did Dracula pass out on New Year’s Eve?”/“There was a count down.”
A New Year's Eve riddle is: Q: Why did Dracula pass out on New Year’s Eve?A: There was a count down. "Did you hear @CountVonCount passed out on new years eve? There was a count…
“Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?”/“To make up for a bad summer.”
"Humpty Dumpty" is an English nursery rhyme from the 1790s. American actor George L. Fox (1825-1877) played a clown Humpty Dumpty character at New York City's Olympic Theatre in the…
“Why did Noah build an ark when he could have simply paid more taxes to stop climate change?”
"Idiot Noah Builds An Ark When He Could Have Just Paid More Taxes To Stop Climate Change" was posted on The Babylon Bee on September 30, 2024. The joke is that paying taxes to the…
“Why did the clock get kicked out of the library?”/“It tocked too much.”
A clock riddle is: Q: Why did the clock get kicked out of the library?A: It tocked (talked) too much. The punchline "It tocked too much" has been cited in print since at least 1970 and…
“Why did the girl sit on her watch?”/“She wanted to be on time.”
A watch riddle is: Q: Why did the girl sit on her watch?A: She wanted to be on time. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy Joseph…
“Why did the man dump ground beef on his head?”/“He wanted a meatier shower.”
"Meteor shower" sounds like "meatier shower." “That looks like a meatier shower" was printed in a 1996 novel. "WHY DID KIBO PUT LOW QUALITY GROUND BEEF IN HIS SHOWER…
“Why did the man throw a clock out the window?”/“To see time fly.”
"Time flies" means that time passes quickly, but there's a popular riddle: Q: Why did the man throw a clock out the window?A: He wanted to see time fly. The joke has been cited in…
“Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?”/“Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Polyunsaturated fatPolyunsaturated fats are lipids in which the constituent hydrocarbon chain possesses two or more carbon–carbon double bonds.…
“Why did the snowman pull down his pants?”/“Because he heard a snow blower coming.”
A snowman riddle has been printed on many images. Q: Why did the snowman pull down his pants?A: Because he heard/saw the snowblower coming. "Why did the snowman pull down his pants? He was…
“Why did the snowman pull down his pants?”/“Because he saw the snowblower coming.”
A snowman riddle has been printed on many images. Q: Why did the snowman pull down his pants?A: Because he heard/saw the snowblower coming. "Why did the snowman pull down his pants? He was…
“Why did the weather want privacy?”/“It was changing.”
A weather riddle is: Q: Why did the weather want privacy?A: It was changing. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. CLASSIC HABY STUPID WEATHER JOKES (January 15, 2004)43. Why did…
“Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?”/“Swarm.”
"Swarm" sounds like "it's warm." A joke was posted on Twitter by FizzyDuck -- and many others -- on February 21, 2010: Q: Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?A:…
“Why do birds fly south for the winter?”/“Because it’s too far to walk.”
The classic question of "Why do birds fly south in the winter?" has a simple answer: Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?A: Because it's too far to walk. The joke has been cited…
“Why do cows lie when it’s raining?”/“To keep each udder dry.”
A cow riddle is: Q: Why do cows lie down when it's raining? A: To keep each udder dry. "Udder" sounds like "other." The riddle was printed in the book I Know an Old Lady…
“Why do I live in a place where the air hurts my face?”
"The air hurts my face. Why am I living where the air hurts my face?" -- usually meaning that the winter air is very cold, possibly causing frostbite -- is a saying that has been printed…
“Why do lions only mate in the summer?”/“Because the pride comes before the fall.”
"Pride comes before a fall" is a version of the saying in the Bible, Book of Proverbs, 16:18. "Pride" does not mean a group of lions and "fall" does not mean autumn,…