“When the moon hits your knees and you mispronounce trees—Sycamore”
"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore ("love" in Italian -- ed.)" is the famous line from the song "That's Amore" (1953) by…
“When the weatherman broke both arms and legs, he called about his four casts”
"Forecasts" sounds like "four casts." A weather pun was printed in the Daily Mail (London, UK) on September 14, 1999: "Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an…
“When we changed the clocks, we went from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone!”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic affected many Americans starting in March 2020. "I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks earlier this month we’d go from standard…
“When you can’t find the sunshine, be the sunshine”
"If/When you can't find the sunshine, be the sunshine" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "Sunshine" means "happiness" -- if you…
“Where are you celebrating the Ides of March?”/“Little Caesars!”
March 15th (the middle of the month) is called the Ides of March. Roman general and statesman Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 15, 44 B.C. Little Caesars is an American multinational chain…
“Where did the clock finish the race?”/“Wherever it wound up.”
A clock riddle has been cited in print since at least 2014: Q: Where did the clock finish the race?A: Wherever it wound up. A stopwatch version was posted on Twitter by the Edinburgh Festival…
“Where did the stopwatch finish the race?”/“Wherever it wound up.”
A clock riddle has been cited in print since at least 2014: Q: Where did the clock finish the race?A: Wherever it wound up. A stopwatch version was posted on Twitter by the Edinburgh Festival…
“Where do naughty rainbows go?”/“Prism.”
A rainbow riddle is: Q: Where do naughty rainbows go?A: Prism. "Prism" sounds like "prison." "Where do rainbows go when they break the law? Prism. #iamthefunniest" was…
“Where do squirrels go in a hurricane?”/“All over the place.”
A hurricane riddle is: Q: Where do squirrels go in a hurricane?A: All over the place! The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 19, 2018. TwitterKatie Phang@KatiePhang13 Sep 2017Question:…
“Which is faster, hot or cold?”/“Hot, because you can catch a cold”
"Cold" (temperature) and "cold" (sickness) have been used in several puns, including this old standard: Q: Which is fastest, hot or cold?A: Hot, because you can catch a cold.…
“Which is the strongest day in the week?”/“Sunday - all the rest are weekdays.”
A riddle about the days of the week has been cited in print since at least 1855: Q: What is the strongest day of the week?A: Sunday. All of the rest are "weak" days. Saturday later joined…
“Who came up with the Gregorian calendar—Greg or Ian?”
There have been several Gregorian ("Greg or Ian") calendar jokes. "It may be somewhat difficult to believe, but the Gregorian calendar really was brought upon us by a guy named Greg…
“Who fixes time machines?”/“A quantum mechanic.”
"Quantum mechanics" shouldn't be confused with "auto mechanics," but there are jokes. "There is a hoary old joke: What do you call a physicist who works on quantum…
“Whoever love Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate”
"Whoever love(s) Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate" is a Monday saying that has been prrrinted on many images. Monday is the traditional start of the work week.…
“Whoever loves Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate”
"Whoever love(s) Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate" is a Monday saying that has been prrrinted on many images. Monday is the traditional start of the work week.…
“Why are people so tired on April 1st?”/“Because they just finished a 31-day March.”
A popular April riddle is: Q: Why are people so tired on April 1st?A: Because they just finished a 31-day March. The joke -- often involving soldiers or scouts -- has been cited in print since at…
“Why did Dracula pass out on New Year’s Eve?”/“There was a count down.”
A New Year's Eve riddle is: Q: Why did Dracula pass out on New Year’s Eve?A: There was a count down. "Did you hear @CountVonCount passed out on new years eve? There was a count…
“Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?”/“To make up for a bad summer.”
"Humpty Dumpty" is an English nursery rhyme from the 1790s. American actor George L. Fox (1825-1877) played a clown Humpty Dumpty character at New York City's Olympic Theatre in the…
“Why did Noah build an ark when he could have simply paid more taxes to stop climate change?”
"Idiot Noah Builds An Ark When He Could Have Just Paid More Taxes To Stop Climate Change" was posted on The Babylon Bee on September 30, 2024. The joke is that paying taxes to the…
“Why did the clock get kicked out of the library?”/“It tocked too much.”
A clock riddle is: Q: Why did the clock get kicked out of the library?A: It tocked (talked) too much. The punchline "It tocked too much" has been cited in print since at least 1970 and…