“The only thing that travels faster than light is weekends”
"The only thing that travels faster than light is weekends" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Ok, so why is it that the weekends whiz by faster than light…
“The phrase ‘it’s not opposite day’ is always true”
On "Opposite Day," people say the reverse of what is true. "5th grade revelation: 'It's not opposite day' is always true" was posted on Twitter on July 22, 2011.…
“The problem with 10:30pm is that it comes exactly one minute before 2:30am if you’re not careful”
"The problem with 10:30pm is that it comes exactly one minute before 2:30am if you’re not careful" is jocular saying that was posted on X/Twitter by Josh Gondelman on May 24, 2020, and…
“The punchline comes before the question. What’s the worst part about time traveling jokes?”
Time travel jokes are difficult. "You know the punchline before you're ever told the joke. What's the worst part about time traveling jokes?" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on…
“The reason there’s a February 29 is because it takes a full day to explain what a leap year is”
"The reason there’s a February 29 is because it takes a full day to explain what the fuck a leap year is" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an ecard. "The reason…
“The rotation of the earth really makes my day”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterMichael Tucker@tichaelmuckerEarth's axial rotation period totally makes my day.3:18 PM - 19 Oct 2010 TwitterJim M.@jemappellejimboEarth's rotation…
“The season of leggings and yoga pants is upon us”
"The season of leggings and yoga pants is upon us" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, summer is over and it's autumn. "'Makay, the season of…
“The spring blossoms get you out of your head and out working in the garden”
"April is the kindest month. April gets you out of your head and out working in the garden" and "The spring blossoms get you out of your head and out working in the garden" are…
“The start of Girl Scout Cookie Season marks the official end of New Year’s Resolution Season”
Entry in progress -- BP Wikipedia: Girl Scout Cookies Girl Scout Cookies are cookies sold by Girl Scouts in the United States to raise funds to support Girl Scout councils and individual troops.…
“The surface of the earth is approx 70% water. None of it is carbonated, thus proving the earth is flat”
There is carbonated water and there is non-carbonated water, sometimes called "flat" water. This plays into a flat earth joke. "If the earth is 71% water and it's not…
“The temperature went from 90 to 55 like it saw a state trooper” (summer to fall)
"The temperature/weather just went from 90 to 55 like it saw a state trooper" (a quick transition from summer to fall) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Speeding…
“The third hand on a clock is also the second hand”
Many non-digital clocks have three hands -- an "hour" hand, a "minute" hand and a "second" hand. A joke is that the "third hand" is the "second…
“The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled-up, I’ve forgotten where I was going”
"The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled-up, I’ve forgotten where I was going" was posted on X/Twitter by Sue on December 25, 2012.…
“The trouble with the last snowfall of the season is that you can’t be sure”
Around the end of March or the beginning of April, many people announce "the last snowfall/snowstorm of the season" -- and then it often snows again a few days later. "The trouble…
“The TV told me that if I eat bugs and enslave myself on behalf of the ruling 1% that the weather will get gooder….”
"The tv told me that if I eat bugs and pay more money to the government the weather will be gooder" is a popular meme. The meme shows the Ralph Wiggum character from the animated…
“The tv told me that if I eat bugs and pay more money to the government the weather will be gooder”
"The tv told me that if I eat bugs and pay more money to the government the weather will be gooder" is a popular meme. The meme shows the Ralph Wiggum character from the animated…
“The TV told me that if I pay money to the government and accept totalitarian surveillance state the weather will be gooder”
"The tv told me that if I eat bugs and pay more money to the government the weather will be gooder" is a popular meme. The meme shows the Ralph Wiggum character from the animated…
“The TV told me that if I pay money to the government the weather will be gooder”
"The tv told me that if I eat bugs and pay more money to the government the weather will be gooder" is a popular meme. The meme shows the Ralph Wiggum character from the animated…
“The two happiest days in a time traveler’s life…” (joke)
“The two happiest days of a man’s life—the day he bought the boat and the day he sold the boat” is a well known joke. "The two happiest days in a time traveler's life: The day…
“The weather is so nice I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run”
When the weather is nice, some people go outside and run, but many people don't run in any weather. A joke is: "The weather is so nice I think I'll go outside and watch other people…