“If it makes dollars, it makes sense” (boxing adage)
"If it makes dollars, it makes sense" was cited in June 2000 in a penny stock forum. The saying is usually associated with the boxer Floyd Mayweather, Jr., who said in June 2004 about a…
“If it moves, kick it; if it doesn’t move, kick it until it does” (soccer adage)
Phil Woosnam, the commissioner of the North American Soccer League, explained soccer to Americans in May 1974: "The rules are very simple. Basically it's this: If it moves, kick it. If it…
“If it’s brown, it’s down” (hunting adage)
"If it's brown, it's down" is a hunting saying that's especially popular when deer hunting season opens. "If it's brown, it's down" has been cited in…
“If it’s low, let it go; if it’s high, let if fly” (hitting a knuckleball)
"If it's low, let it go; if it's high, let if fly" is advice on hitting the knuckle ball. If the ball is low, it often sinks into the dirt. "'If it's low, let it…
“If it’s the elbow, call the surgeon. If it’s the shoulder, call the preacher” (baseball adage)
Baseball pitchers frequently have injuries to a pitching arm. "If it’s the elbow, call the surgeon. If it’s the shoulder, call the preacher" is a baseball adage. "If it’s the…
“If Kentucky ever gets a soccer team, they should obviously be Kentucky FC”
"FC" usually stands for "football club," not "fried chicken." "KFC" fast food restaurants had the original name of "Kentucky Fried Chicken." Many…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would be fourth so I wouldn’t have to step up on the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d come 4th, so I didn’t have to walk up to the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d probably come in 4th so that I wouldn’t need to walk up…”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was on the Olympic games, I would rank 4th so I wouldn’t have to climb the winners’...”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball”
The golf balls of many golfers always seem to find water. "IF NASA REALLY WANTS TO FIND WATER ON MARS, THEY SHOULD JUST SEND ME THERE TO HIT A GOLF BALL" is a joke that was featured in a…
“If people concentrated on the really important things, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles”
"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles" is a jocular fishing saying that has been printed on many images. American…
“If pessimism were an Olympic sport, I would still not win it”
"If pessimism was/were an Olympic sport...” is the start of a joke. "If pessimism was an Olympic sport... I'd still probably only get bronze at best. #Olympics" was posted on…
“If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I would participate in the next one”
"If procrastination was/were an Olympic sport..." is the start of a joke that has been printed on many images. "If procrastination were an olympic sport, I'd take home the…
“If procrastination were an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later”
"If procrastination was/were an Olympic sport..." is the start of a joke that has been printed on many images. "If procrastination were an olympic sport, I'd take home the…
“If steroids aren’t allowed in sports, why is makeup allowed in beauty pageants?”
"If drugs/steroids aren't allowed in sports, why is makeup allowed in beauty contests/pageants?" is a question that has been printed on many images. "If steroids aren't…
“If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear”
"If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear" is a saying about the tile-matching puzzle video game that has been printed on several images.…
“If there were an Autumn Olympics, it would consist of leaf raking and cold avoidance”
There are Summer Olympic Games and Winter Olympic Games, but nothing for autumn. Many people have suggested events (jokingly) that could be in an Autumn Olympics, such as bobbing for apples,…
“If there’s one thing that makes me throw up, it is a dartboard on the ceiling”
A dartboard is usually put on a wall, not a ceiling. "Every time I see a dartboard on the ceiling it makes want to throw up!" was posted on Twitter on June 30, 2010. "I put a dart…
“If they can make penicillin from moldy bread, you can become something”
A penicillin joke was told in 1959 by an unknown jokester: "Son, there's got to be a future for you. After all, they make penicillin out of moldy bread!" Bronx-born comedian Milt…