“If you even dream of beating me, you’d better wake up and apologize”
"If you even dream of beating me, you'd better wake up and apologize" is a boxer's taunt that was popularized by Muhammad Ali (1942-2016). Ali said about competitor Joe Frazier…
“If you forget the rules of chess, don’t worry… you’re allowed to check”
"If you forget the rules of Chess don't worry... you're allowed to check" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on April 26, 2019. "If you ever forget the rules of chess,…
“If you had fun, you won” (non-competitive sports)
"If you had fun, you won" is a sports saying that has been printed on many images. Participating in sports is often "winning." The saying is popular in scholastic sports…
“If you have one day left to live, let it be at a swim meet because they go on forever”
Swim meets have such a reputation for lasting a long time that a popular joke has been put on T-shirts: "If you have one day left to live, let it be at a swim meet because they go on…
“If you have to think about whether a player is a hall of famer—he isn’t”
"If you have to think about whether a player is a hall of famer -- he isn't" is a popular rule of thumb in voting a player into the Hall of Fame. A Hall of Fame player must be…
“If you know how to cheat, start now”
When pitcher Ross Grimsley was with the Baltimore Orioles (1974-77), he had a very bad outing. Either Orioles Manager Earl Weaver (1930-2013) or Orioles Pitching Coach George Bamberger (1923-2004)…
“If you look good, you play good” (sports adage)
"If you look good, you play good" is a sports saying that has been printed on many images. "If you look good, you feel good and you play good" was printed in The Evening Sun…
“If you lose, be patient. If you win, stay humble”
"If you lose, be patient. If you win, stay humble" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "If you win stay humble, if you lose, put your head down and…
“If you miss the ball, don’t miss the leg” (soccer adage)
"If you missed the ball, don't miss the leg/man/bone" is a soccer adage popular in West African countries such as Ghana and Nigeria. The saying means that if you strike your leg out…
“If you need two yards, he’ll get you two yards…” (running back joke)
It's sometimes said of a powerful, short-yardage runner in football that, "If you need two yards, he'll get you two yards. If you need seven yards, he'll get you two…
“If you play great on Friday nights, then you can play on Saturdays” (football adage)
American football has for many years consisted of high school football on Friday nights, college football on Saturdays, and professional NFL football on Sundays. Craig Thomas wrote on NCAA.com in…
“If you play Yahtzee on a boat, is it spelled Yachtzee?”
The dice game of Yahtzee has nothing to do with yachts, but there are jokes. "Yachtzee: What a child, or another person, may say when they see this type of boat" was posted on the…
“If you see a good move, look for a better one” (chess adage)
"If you see a good move, look for a better one" is a chess adage meaning that one should study the position and not jump at the first good thought. The saying has also been used in…
“If you see the play happen, you have missed the picture” (sports photography adage)
"If you see the play happen, you have missed the picture" (or "If you see the action, you missed it") is a sports photography adage. A sports photographer must know the sport…
“If you shoot it, you eat it” (hunting adage)
"If you shoot it, you eat it" is not a hunting requirement, but it is a saying that some hunters use. "If you shoot it -- you gotta eat it" has been cited in print since at…
“If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right”
British-American actor Bob Hope (1903-2003) loved golf; the Bob Hope Classic was named after him. Hope is frequently credited for having said: "If you think golf is relaxing, you're not…
“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball”
"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball" is a jocular saying that, since at least 1989, has been credited to actor Jack Lemmon (1925-2001).…
“If you think practice is boring, try sitting on the bench”
"If you think practice is boring, try sitting on the bench" is a motivational sports saying that has been printed on many images. The message is that players who don't practice are…
“If you think you’re going to hit into a double play, strike out”
"If you think you're going to hit into a double play, strike out" is a joke line that a baseball manager tells one of his players. "Earl Weaver always said, 'If you feel…
“If you want snow, schedule a downhill race” (skiing adage)
Downhill skiing races are canceled if there are snowy conditions. A modern proverb is that if one wants snow, then one should schedule a downhill race. "If you want it to snow at your area,…