“If Kentucky ever gets a soccer team, they should obviously be Kentucky FC”
"FC" usually stands for "football club," not "fried chicken." "KFC" fast food restaurants had the original name of "Kentucky Fried Chicken." Many…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would be fourth so I wouldn’t have to step up on the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d come 4th, so I didn’t have to walk up to the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d probably come in 4th so that I wouldn’t need to walk up…”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was on the Olympic games, I would rank 4th so I wouldn’t have to climb the winners’...”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball”
The golf balls of many golfers always seem to find water. "IF NASA REALLY WANTS TO FIND WATER ON MARS, THEY SHOULD JUST SEND ME THERE TO HIT A GOLF BALL" is a joke that was featured in a…
“If people concentrated on the really important things, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles”
"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles" is a jocular fishing saying that has been printed on many images. American…
“If pessimism were an Olympic sport, I would still not win it”
"If pessimism was/were an Olympic sport...” is the start of a joke. "If pessimism was an Olympic sport... I'd still probably only get bronze at best. #Olympics" was posted on…
“If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I would participate in the next one”
"If procrastination was/were an Olympic sport..." is the start of a joke that has been printed on many images. "If procrastination were an olympic sport, I'd take home the…
“If procrastination were an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later”
"If procrastination was/were an Olympic sport..." is the start of a joke that has been printed on many images. "If procrastination were an olympic sport, I'd take home the…
“If steroids aren’t allowed in sports, why is makeup allowed in beauty pageants?”
"If drugs/steroids aren't allowed in sports, why is makeup allowed in beauty contests/pageants?" is a question that has been printed on many images. "If steroids aren't…
“If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear”
"If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear" is a saying about the tile-matching puzzle video game that has been printed on several images.…
“If there were an Autumn Olympics, it would consist of leaf raking and cold avoidance”
There are Summer Olympic Games and Winter Olympic Games, but nothing for autumn. Many people have suggested events (jokingly) that could be in an Autumn Olympics, such as bobbing for apples,…
“If there’s one thing that makes me throw up, it is a dartboard on the ceiling”
A dartboard is usually put on a wall, not a ceiling. "Every time I see a dartboard on the ceiling it makes want to throw up!" was posted on Twitter on June 30, 2010. "I put a dart…
“If they can make penicillin from moldy bread, you can become something”
A penicillin joke was told in 1959 by an unknown jokester: "Son, there's got to be a future for you. After all, they make penicillin out of moldy bread!" Bronx-born comedian Milt…
“If winning isn’t important, why keep score?”
"It doesn't matter if you win or lose, but how you played the game" is a paraphrase of the poem "Alumnus Football" (1908) by the sportswriter Grantland Rice (1880-1954).…
“If you are color blind, Twister is a mother fucking free for all”
Twister is a game that involves colored circles, where people place hands and feet. "If you are color blind, Twister is a mother fucking free for all" was posted on Twitter by Ben…
“If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country”
"If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country" is a joke featured in many sports and exercise joke lists, often incorrectly attributed to comedian Steven…
“If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm”
"If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm" is an old sports saying attributed to Green Bay Packers football coach Vince Lombardi (1913-1970) in 1968.…
“If you can hit, you can play” (baseball adage)
The ability to successfully hit a baseball is a rare skill. If a player can hit, a baseball team will find a place for that player -- even if it's just the designated hitter. "If you can…