“If winning isn’t important, why keep score?”
"It doesn't matter if you win or lose, but how you played the game" is a paraphrase of the poem "Alumnus Football" (1908) by the sportswriter Grantland Rice (1880-1954).…
“If you are color blind, Twister is a mother fucking free for all”
Twister is a game that involves colored circles, where people place hands and feet. "If you are color blind, Twister is a mother fucking free for all" was posted on Twitter by Ben…
“If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country”
"If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country" is a joke featured in many sports and exercise joke lists, often incorrectly attributed to comedian Steven…
“If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm”
"If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm" is an old sports saying attributed to Green Bay Packers football coach Vince Lombardi (1913-1970) in 1968.…
“If you can hit, you can play” (baseball adage)
The ability to successfully hit a baseball is a rare skill. If a player can hit, a baseball team will find a place for that player -- even if it's just the designated hitter. "If you can…
“If you can shoot, you can play” (basketball adage)
Basketball requires various skills, but shooting skill is always highly regarded. "If you can shoot, you can play" is a popular basketball adage. "In Europe the first thing they tell…
“If you can walk, you can snowshoe”
Snowshoeing is easier to learn than skiing. The old and popular saying, "If you can walk, you can showshoe," has been cited in print since 1922. (Oxford English Dictionary)snow-shoe v.…
“If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter”
Principal McGee (actress Eve Arden) said in the 1950s nostalgia movie musical Grease (1978): "If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter." An athletic supporter is also a…
“If you can’t beat ‘em, beat ‘em up” (hockey adage)
"If you can't beat them, join them" is a proverb that was popular in the early 20th century. A hockey variant (showing hockey's violence) is, "if you can't beat them,…
“If you can’t get to a good pitcher early, you might not get him” (baseball adage)
A pitcher often needs the first inning (and sometimes the second and third innings) to get into rhythm and settle down. Once a good pitcher gets into his rhythm and settles down, the other team is…
“If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him”
Casey Stengel (1890-1975), a former New York Yankees manager and then the manager of the expansion New York Mets, gave advice to his former player, Yogi Berra (1925-2015), in January 1964 after…
“If you can’t win, make the fellow ahead of you break the record”
"If you can't win, make the fellow ahead of you break the record" is a popular adage in track and field. The saying means that if you can't win, you at least know that the…
“If you can’t hear a pin drop, then something is definitely wrong with your bowling”
"Sign in the bowling alley: 'If you can't hear a pin drop there's something wrong with your bowling'" was printed in the Ord (NE) Quiz on March 13, 1958. "If you…
“If you care as much about church as you do about football, dump Gatorade on your pastor at the end of the sermon”
A winning coach or player in sports (especially football) often receives a "Gatorade shower." Some people believe that church should have similar enthusiasm. "It's that time of…
“If you chum, they will come” (fishing adage)
"If you build it (a baseball field), he (baseball star Shoeless Joe Jackson) will come" is a famous quotation from the baseball film Field of Dreams (1989). "If you chum, they will…
“If you could beat me, I would know you” (chess saying)
A popular chess story involves chess champion José Raúl Capablanca (1888-1943). A player asked Capablanca to play a game, and Capablance was about to give him queen odds. "Hey! You…
“If you don’t hear an offensive lineman’s named called, he is doing a good job” (football adage)
An old football adage is that no one hears about an offensive lineman when that player is doing a good job. If you hear an offensive lineman's name mentioned in the course of a football game,…
“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt”
American singer, actor and comedian Dean Martin (1917-1995) liked to drink and he liked to golf, and is credited with the popular quote: ' "If you drink, don't drive. Don't even…
“If you even dream of beating me, you’d better wake up and apologize”
"If you even dream of beating me, you'd better wake up and apologize" is a boxer's taunt that was popularized by Muhammad Ali (1942-2016). Ali said about competitor Joe Frazier…
“If you forget the rules of chess, don’t worry… you’re allowed to check”
"If you forget the rules of Chess don't worry... you're allowed to check" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on April 26, 2019. "If you ever forget the rules of chess,…