"If drugs/steroids aren't allowed in sports, why is makeup allowed in beauty contests/pageants?" is a question that has been printed on many images. "If steroids aren't…
"If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear" is a saying about the tile-matching puzzle video game that has been printed on several images.…
A dartboard is usually put on a wall, not a ceiling. "Every time I see a dartboard on the ceiling it makes want to throw up!" was posted on Twitter on June 30, 2010. "I put a dart…
A penicillin joke was told in 1959 by an unknown jokester: "Son, there's got to be a future for you. After all, they make penicillin out of moldy bread!" Bronx-born comedian Milt…
"It doesn't matter if you win or lose, but how you played the game" is a paraphrase of the poem "Alumnus Football" (1908) by the sportswriter Grantland Rice (1880-1954).…
Twister is a game that involves colored circles, where people place hands and feet. "If you are color blind, Twister is a mother fucking free for all" was posted on Twitter by Ben…
"If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country" is a joke featured in many sports and exercise joke lists, often incorrectly attributed to comedian Steven…
"If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm" is an old sports saying attributed to Green Bay Packers football coach Vince Lombardi (1913-1970) in 1968.…
The ability to successfully hit a baseball is a rare skill. If a player can hit, a baseball team will find a place for that player -- even if it's just the designated hitter. "If you can…
Basketball requires various skills, but shooting skill is always highly regarded. "If you can shoot, you can play" is a popular basketball adage. "In Europe the first thing they tell…
Snowshoeing is easier to learn than skiing. The old and popular saying, "If you can walk, you can showshoe," has been cited in print since 1922. (Oxford English Dictionary)snow-shoe v.…
Principal McGee (actress Eve Arden) said in the 1950s nostalgia movie musical Grease (1978): "If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter." An athletic supporter is also a…
"If you can't beat them, join them" is a proverb that was popular in the early 20th century. A hockey variant (showing hockey's violence) is, "if you can't beat them,…
A pitcher often needs the first inning (and sometimes the second and third innings) to get into rhythm and settle down. Once a good pitcher gets into his rhythm and settles down, the other team is…
Casey Stengel (1890-1975), a former New York Yankees manager and then the manager of the expansion New York Mets, gave advice to his former player, Yogi Berra (1925-2015), in January 1964 after…
"If you can't win, make the fellow ahead of you break the record" is a popular adage in track and field. The saying means that if you can't win, you at least know that the…
"If you build it (a baseball field), he (baseball star Shoeless Joe Jackson) will come" is a famous quotation from the baseball film Field of Dreams (1989). "If you chum, they will…
A popular chess story involves chess champion José Raúl Capablanca (1888-1943). A player asked Capablanca to play a game, and Capablance was about to give him queen odds. "Hey! You…
An old football adage is that no one hears about an offensive lineman when that player is doing a good job. If you hear an offensive lineman's name mentioned in the course of a football game,…
American singer, actor and comedian Dean Martin (1917-1995) liked to drink and he liked to golf, and is credited with the popular quote: ' "If you drink, don't drive. Don't even…