“If found, please return to pub”
"If found, please return to (the) pub" is a jocular T-shirt saying that has been printed on many images. "If found, please return to the pub" was posted on the newsgroup…
“If found, please return to the pub”
"If found, please return to (the) pub" is a jocular T-shirt saying that has been printed on many images. "If found, please return to the pub" was posted on the newsgroup…
“If Hooters closes and becomes delivery only, would they have to change their name to Knockers?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made many restaurants close their dine-in facilities and become take-out and delivery only. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 30, 2020: "If…
“If I had my life to live over, I’d live over a saloon”
American actor Lew Parker (1910-1972) was credited in 1951 with the line: "If I had my life to live over, I'd live over a saloon." The jocular line has been usually credited since…
“If I invest in a butcher shop, does that make me a steakholder?”
"Stakeholder" shouldn't be confused with "steakholder," but there are jokes. This was posted on X/Twitter by LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More on May 5, 2025: "If I…
“If I only wanted one drink, I’d go for communion” (bar sign)
"If I only wanted one drink, I’d go for communion" is a jocular line that has been printed on bar signs. GSElevator (Goldman Sachs Elevator) posted the message on Twitter on September…
“If I owned a diner I’d have a sandwich called ‘The Usual’ so everyone would feel special”
Many diners has special, invented names for sandwiches. "If I owned a diner I'd have a sandwich called 'The Usual' so everyone would feel special. #fb" was posted on…
“If I wanted to bag my own groceries, I would have pursued a career in the Grocery Arts”
Many grocery shoppers do not like to bag their own groceries. "If I wanted to bag my own groceries I would have went to college to be a bag boy. Smh" was posted on Twitter by Young Basil…
“If it doesn’t snow, I’m taking these groceries back”
Many people stock up on food before a snow storm, but what if the storm never materializes? "If it don't snow like its suppose to I'm taking all these groceries back to Walmart"…
“If it don’t snow, I’m taking these groceries back”
Many people stock up on food before a snow storm, but what if the storm never materializes? "If it don't snow like its suppose to I'm taking all these groceries back to Walmart"…
“If it don’t snow, I’m returning all my groceries”
Many people stock up on food before a snow storm, but what if the storm never materializes? "If it don't snow like its suppose to I'm taking all these groceries back to Walmart"…
“If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with Self Checkouts make prices go down?”
"If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn't replacing cashiers with Self Checkouts make prices go down?" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“If self driving cars become a huge industry, ice cream trucks will be mobile vending machines”
Are food trucks really mobile vending machines? "And instead of food trucks, we refer to them as mobile vending machines?" was posted on Twitter on December 20, 2016. "If self…
“If steak were a religion, this would be its cathedral” (Smith & Wollensky)
The Smith & Wollensky steakhouse at Third Avenue and 49th Street began in 1977. There are now other restaurants in Boston, Chicago, Columbus, Dallas, Houston, Las Vegas, Miami Beach,…
“If the grocery store has a section for health food, then what is the rest of the store?”
"If there is a 'health food' section in the grocery store, what does that make the rest of the food sold there?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Dr, Mark Hyman…
“If the menu doesn’t have dollar signs by the prices, it’s too expensive”
Many expensive restaurants don't put dollar signs on their menus. This is said to make expensive menu items psychologically easier to order. "If the menu doesn't have dollar signs in…
“If the waitress has dirty ankles, the chili will be good”
New York City-born college basketball coach and commentator Al McGuire (1928-2001) was known for his colorful language. He was quoted by Sports Illustrated in 1976: "If the waitress has dirty…
“If there is a ‘health food’ section in a grocery store, what does that make the rest of the food?”
"If there is a 'health food' section in the grocery store, what does that make the rest of the food sold there?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Dr, Mark Hyman…
“If there’s a bar where everybody knows your name, you’re probably an alcoholic”
"If there's a bar where everybody knows your name, you're probably an alcoholic" is a jocular saying that has been printed on GIFs." The American television sitcom Cheers…
“If two people are in love nothing is impossible, except deciding where to eat”
"If two people are in love nothing is impossible, except deciding where to eat" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "If two people are in love, nothing…