“Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded” (restaurant joke)
"Nobody goes there anymore -- it's too crowded" is supposedly New York Yankee baseball great Yogi Berra's statement about a popular restaurant. Yogi might have said it, but he…
“Not to brag, but I’ve satisfied every waitress that’s ever served me. With just the tip”
A sex/restaurant joke was posted on Twitter by Ducks_The_Delirious on January 11, 2015: "Not to brag, but I’ve satisfied every waitress that's ever served me. With just the tip."…
“Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like…”
"Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. People remember what…
“Nothing says ‘I mean business’ like using a shopping cart at the liquor store”
"Nothing says 'I mean business' like using a shopping cart at the liquor store" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the person is buying more than just a…
“Notice: No service will be provided at this bar to anyone on a horse” (bar sign)
"Notice: No service will be provided at this bar to anyone on a horse" is a bar sign that supposedly was displayed in saloons of old. However, ""No service will be provided at…
“Nowadays, an after-dinner mint is what you need to pay the restaurant check”
Many fine dining restaurants offer after-dinner mints, suggesting a pun on the word "mint": "Nowadays, an after-dinner mint is what you need to pay the restaurant check"…
“Oedipus and Midas walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Greek mythology version was posted on both Reddit -- Dadjokes and Reddit -- Jokes on…
“Oedipus, Aphrodite and Midas walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Greek mythology version was posted on both Reddit -- Dadjokes and Reddit -- Jokes on…
“Oh my god, I haven’t seen or thought about you in 20 years. Let’s hang out in the middle of the grocery aisle and catch up!”
Many people meet long-lost acquaintances at a supermarket. They then chat and clog the aisle. "When u bump into some1 uknow in a supermarket, make sure to catch up in the middle of the fukin…
“Olive Garden is the Italian version of Applebee’s”
Olive Garden is an American casual dining restaurant chain, serving Americanized versions of Italian food. It has been compared to Applebee's, a chain restaurant serving American food.…
“Olive Garden waitress asks me to “say when” and begins to grate parmesan on my salad…”
"Waitress says 'Say when' when grating my cheese. I never say when. The room fills with parmesan. There are no survivors" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“Once I got a job I realized my mom was right, we did have food at home”
"Once I started spending my own money, I realized mom was right. We do have food at home" (eating at home -- and saving money -- rather than eating at a restaurant) is a jocular line that…
“Once I got a job, I realized mom was right. We do have food at home”
"Once I started spending my own money, I realized mom was right. We do have food at home" (eating at home -- and saving money -- rather than eating at a restaurant) is a jocular line that…
“Once I started spending my own money, I realized mom was right. We do got food at home”
"Once I started spending my own money, I realized mom was right. We do have food at home" (eating at home -- and saving money -- rather than eating at a restaurant) is a jocular line that…
“Once I started spending my own money, I realized mom was right. We do have food at home”
"Once I started spending my own money, I realized mom was right. We do have food at home" (eating at home -- and saving money -- rather than eating at a restaurant) is a jocular line that…
“One of the worst jobs in the world is to be a fruit stand vendor in action movie”
An action movie cliché is the car chase, and a car always seems to drive into a fruit stand on the sidewalk. "Apart from the above, my major gripe is with the pointless car chase, in which…
“Our coffee is an experience that chalk is unable to convey” (chalkboard sign)
"Our coffee is an experience that chalk is unable to convey" is a jocular saying that has been written on many chalkboards, especially at coffeehouses. Such a sign was posted on flickr by…
“Our restaurant’s snails are world-famous.”/“I know, one of them’s just been serving me.”
A restaurant joke about slow service is: Restaurant Owner: Our restaurant’s snails are world-famous.Diner: I know, one of them’s just been serving me. The joke has been cited in print since at…
“Our tongue sandwiches speak for themselves” (deli/restaurant sign)
"Our tongue sandwiches speak for themselves" is an old joke about a sign in a deli or restaurant, but such signs actually did exist. "'Our tongue sandwiches speak for…
“Outback Steakhouse is a poor man’s LongHorn Steakhouse”
The restaurants LongHorn Steakhouse (founded in 1981), Outback Steakhouse (founded in 1988), Logan's Roadhouse (founded in 1991), Texas Roadhouse (founded in 1993) and Colton's Steak…