“Nachos as big as your ass” (restaurant sign)
"Nachos as big as your ass" is a restaurant sign that has been shown on many images. “Burritos as big as your head” is a somewhat similar restaurant sign. Twitter…
“Never ask your wife where she wants to eat. Ask her, ‘Guess where I’m taking you!?’”
Men often ask women out to dinner, but the women often refuse all suggestions of where to eat. There is a trick some men use to avoid this problem. "ULPT: Don't ask your girl where she…
“Never date a chick that works at Subway. She knows what 6 inches really looks like”
"Never date a chick that works at Subway. She knows what 6 inches really looks like" is a sex joke that has been printed on many images. Subway fast food restaurants serve six-inch sub…
“Never get a bread appetizer at an Indian restaurant. It’s a naan-starter”
Naan is a leavened, oven-baked flatbread. A naan appetizer, a joke goes, is a "naan-starter" (non-starter). "I thought I had a good idea for an Indian appetizer, but it was a naan…
“Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche”
American humorist Lewis Grizzard (1946-1994) listed several "rules to follow when ordering in an unfamiliar restaurant" in his newspaper column on April 11, 1986. The first rule was:…
“Never run a fruit stand in an action movie”
An action movie cliché is the car chase, and a car always seems to drive into a fruit stand on the sidewalk. "Apart from the above, my major gripe is with the pointless car chase, in which…
“Never trust a person who chooses a table over a booth”
A restaurant often gives a dine the choice of having a table o a booth. A large group of people might choose the table, and a couple dating might choose the booth. "Is there anyone that…
“Never trust anyone who orders a medium pizza”
Many people cannot understand how anyone orders a medium pizza. One should always order a large pizza, even if there is leftover pizza. "@FabMissK: 'Pl[a]ybook is like a medium pizza. Who…
“New restaurant opening in town called The Manhattan Project. It’s a fusion restaurant”
Fusion cuisine has nothing to do with nuclear fusion, but there are jokes. "My wife and I's friend booked us a table at a restaurant called The Manhattan Project and I'M the bad guy…
“New rule: If I order my food standing up, I am not tipping”
"New rule: If I order my food standing up, I am not tipping" is a saying that has been printed on several images. That is, there is no waiter or waitress bringing food to the table.…
“New York’s Most Fabulous Self-Service Restaurant” (Belmore)
The Belmore restaurant that used to be on Park Avenue South at 28th Street was "New York's Most Fabulous Self-Service Restaurant." It was famous with taxi drivers and was featured in…
“New Yorkiest place in town” (Stork Club)
What place in New York City can be described as the "New Yorkiest"? "Is that the New Yorkiest place in town?" was printed in a 1915 novel, referring to Sherry's, an…
“Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller, then leave the store”
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) is an American classic comedy film. The student, named Ferris Bueller, skips school, and the teacher calls out "Bueller? Bueller?" to an empty chair.…
“No diet Coke, no skim milk, no decaf coffee—Just good food” (Pepe Rosso)
The Pepe Rosso chain of restaurants (Pepe Giallo is at 253 Tenth Avenue) offers old-fashioned Italian food at reasonable prices. The motto is: "No diet Coke, no skim milk, no decaf coffee --…
“No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has to clean the bathroom at Taco Bell”
The food at Taco Bell fast food restaurants can cause explosive diarrhea in many people. This was posted on X/Twitter and Facebook by caprice crane on April 27, 2012: "No matter how bad your…
“No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin”
"No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin" is a jocular saying about eating in a restaurant. The saying was cited on Twitter on…
“No one is more judgmental than a waitress questioning if you’ve saved room for dessert”
"No one is more judgmental than a waitress questioning if you’ve saved room for dessert" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an image. The saying was posted on Twitter on…
“No one knows the true struggle of grocery shopping until they are put on a low sodium diet”
Many people who are put on low sodium diets go to a grocery store and soon realize how many foods contain sodium. "Takes so long to shop for groceries when you are on a low sodium diet.…
“No prayer before eating. Here, the chef knows how to cook!” (restaurant joke)
A joke has a husband and wife dining in a restaurant. The wife asks the husband why he doesn't say a prayer before the meal, as he does at home. "Here, the chef knows how to cook!"…
“Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna to die. Come have a beer”
"Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna to die. Come have a beer" is a sign outside some bars/pubs that has been printed on many images. On the American…