“Dogs aren’t allowed in bars because they can’t control their licker”
"Liquor" shouldn't be confused with "licker," but there are jokes. "Q. Why don't they allow dogs in bars? A. Because most of them can't hold their licker!…
“Don’t ask your girl where she wants to eat. Instead, tell her to guess where you’re taking her to eat”
Men often ask women out to dinner, but the women often refuse all suggestions of where to eat. There is a trick some men use to avoid this problem. "ULPT: Don't ask your girl where she…
“Don’t trust anyone that orders a medium pizza”
Many people cannot understand how anyone orders a medium pizza. One should always order a large pizza, even if there is leftover pizza. "@FabMissK: 'Pl[a]ybook is like a medium pizza. Who…
“Don’t hand me a basket of bread and then immediately be like ‘don’t fill up on bread,’ that’s super confusing…”
A family often goes to a restaurant such as Texas Roadhouse, and a basket of bread is placed on the table. One parent usually warns the children, "Don't fill up on bread!" However,…
“Don’t judge a book by its cover, but always judge a Tex-Mex restaurant by their chips and salsa”
Many Texans love the free chips and salsa served at Tex-Mex restaurants. But is this a basis to choose a restaurant? "Don't judge a book by its cover, but always judge a TexMex restaurant…
“Don’t know how I feel about bars opening back up. Drinks gonna be weak compared to mine”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many bars being closed. Liquor stores were left open, and many people made drinks at home. "Yesterday a worker at Walmart was talking to someone…
“Donald Trump walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "[X] walks into a bar...and lowers it" is a popular form of the joke, where…
“Done with dating sites. I’m now focusing on pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a job, a car, and pizza”
A joke about dating was posted on X/Twitter by 〰 Just Linda 〰 on April 9, 2017, and this received over 2,000 likes: "Done with dating sites. I'm now focusing on pizza delivery guys…
“DoorDash be like… $8.93 for your meal + delivery fee $3.99 = Total: $847.32”
DoorDash delivery brings food to a customer's door. People like the convenience, but not the prices. This was posted on X/Twitter by RELL⭕️ on August 24, 2020: "DoorDash be like...…
“DoorDash delivery prices will make you open the fridge a few more times”
DoorDash delivery brings food to a customer's door. People like the convenience, but not the prices. This was posted on X/Twitter by RELL⭕️ on August 24, 2020: "DoorDash be like...…
“DoorDash prices make u wanna dig in yo ass & eat the same shit from last night!”
DoorDash delivery brings food to a customer's door. People like the convenience, but not the prices. This was posted on X/Twitter by RELL⭕️ on August 24, 2020: "DoorDash be like...…
“DoorDash prices so high it make u wanna dig in yo a$$ and eat what u had last night”
DoorDash delivery brings food to a customer's door. People like the convenience, but not the prices. This was posted on X/Twitter by RELL⭕️ on August 24, 2020: "DoorDash be like...…
“Drinking at home instead of the bar isn’t working out. I almost asked my wife for her number!”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many bars closing. Liquor stores were deemed essential businesses and were kept open. People drank at home. "Quarantine Day 19. Drinking at home…
“Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert”
The book The Dictionary According to Mommy (1989), by Joyce Armor, contains this definition: "Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert." A "dumbwaiter"…
“Dunno what this WiFi dude did, but I’ve seen a ton of bars and restaurants demanding his freedom”
Many restaurants have signs that say "Free Wi-Fi," but that doesn't mean that someone named "Wi-Fi" is in jail. A jocular comment was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September…
“Eat ‘em and Beat ‘em” (Exchange Buffet)
The first Exchange Buffet ("E & B") restaurant opened in 1885 on New Street, near the New York Stock Exchange. The restaurants operated on the honor system -- patrons took food from…
“Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar…”
A popular quotation has been credited to American celebrity chef, author, and travel documentarian. Anthony Bourdain (1956-2018): "Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have…
“Eat at Joe’s” (Joe’s Restaurant)
"Eat at Joe's" signs were popular in cartoons and lore of the 1930s and 1940s and 1950s. They symbolized ubiquitous advertising, especially on highways. It probably all began with…
“Eat here and get gas” (“food and gas”)
Many rural roadside establishments combine a restaurant with a gasoline filling station ("food and gas" or "food and fuel"). The classic sign for such a place is: "Eat Here…
“Eat here or we will both starve” (restaurant sign)
"Eat here or we will both starve" is a jocular sign that has appeared at many pubs and restaurants. The sign has been popular for a very long time, and has been spotted all over the…