“Eight bytes walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A progammer version is: "Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Can I…
“Employees must wash hands. You should too, but I’m not your mother” (sign)
"Employees must wash hands before returning to work" is a sign in many restrooms. "Employees must wash hands. You should too" is a jocular version that has been printed on many…
“Employees must wash hands. You should too” (sign)
"Employees must wash hands before returning to work" is a sign in many restrooms. "Employees must wash hands. You should too" is a jocular version that has been printed on many…
“Every bartender I’ve ever met is better at de-escalating conflict than the police”
The George Floyd protests in May and June 2020 were against police brutality and racism in policing. Some people contrasted the police with how bartenders handle disputes. "Every bartender…
“Every Cookie Needs a Belly” (Cookie Island)
Cookie Island's slogan is "Every Cookie Needs a Belly." Cookie Island went out of business after the MTA cleared the area for a downtown transportation hub in 2006. Cookie…
“Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is broken”
The ice cream machine at McDonald's (a popular fast food restaurant chain) seems to break down often. "Every McDonald's should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream…
“Every meal is a happy meal if you leave your kids at home”
McDonald's restaurants sell a "Happy Meal" (for children), but some adults have their own idea of a happy meal. "Every meal is a happy meal if you leave the kids at home"…
“Every restaurant be packed on Mother’s Day. But they want US to bbq on Father’s Day”
On Mother's Day. a family usually wants to give the mother a day off from cooking, and every restaurant is packed. On Father's Day, however, the father is often expected to cook barbecue.…
“Every restaurant is packed on Mother’s Day. But they want us to barbecue on Father’s Day”
On Mother's Day. a family usually wants to give the mother a day off from cooking, and every restaurant is packed. On Father's Day, however, the father is often expected to cook barbecue.…
“Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea”
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings" is a famous line at the end of the film It's a Wondeful Life (1946). "Every time a/the Taco Bell rings, an angel gets…
“Every time someone goes into a deli and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies”
Pastrami on rye, with mustard, is a classic New York Jewish deli dish. A popular joke has a non-Jew entering a deli and ordering a pastrami sandwich -- on white bread, with mayonnaise. "He…
“Every time Taco Bell rings, an angel gets the runs”
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings" is a famous line at the end of the film It's a Wondeful Life (1946). "Every time a/the Taco Bell rings, an angel gets…
“Every time the Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea”
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings" is a famous line at the end of the film It's a Wondeful Life (1946). "Every time a/the Taco Bell rings, an angel gets…
“Every time you have McDonald’s as a kid, it’s a victory”
Kids often enjoy fast food; for adults, it's an admission that they can't (or won't) cook. "Every time you have McDonald's as a kid, it's a victory. Every time you…
“Everything is closing so I’m opening a strip club/breakfast diner/daycare: Tits, Grits & Babysits”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic closed many businesses. "I'm opening a strip club/breakfast diner/daycare center..... Calling it.. TITS GRITS AND WE BABYSITS!" was posted on…
“Everything on a Bagel” (Ess-a-Bagel)
The Ess-a-Bagel ("ess"=eat) stores have the slogan "everything on a bagel." They sell more than bagels, however. Ess-a-BagelHistory Ess-a-Bagel, Inc., was established in 1976 on…
“Excuse me, officer, I have diplomatic immunity.*Shows International House of Pancakes loyalty card*”
The International House of Pancakes (IHOP) doesn't give anyone diplomatic immunity, but there are jokes. "The best thing about working at the International House of Pancakes? Diplomatic…
“f(x) walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A math version is: "f(x) walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says,…
“Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose”
Cold soups such as gazpacho and vichyssoise are often served at expensive restaurants. "Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose" is a jocular one-liner that has been…
“Fast food restaurants need a third window where you can trade in all the wrong food they gave you at the second window”
Drive thru restaurants often have a first window for payment, and then a second window to pick up the food. Some people have suggested that a third window is needed to correct the order. "Fast…