“We dine out twice a week. My wife goes Tuesdays and I go Fridays”
New York-based comedian Henny Youngman (1906-1998) was known as the "king of the one-liners" and often told jokes about his marriage, usually introduced with, "Take my wife --…
“We don’t serve black people.”/“That’s OK. I don’t eat them.”
A "joke" was told in the days of racially segregated restaurants: Waitress: We on't serve black people here.Black diner: That's OK. I don't eat them. The joke has been…
“We Know the Neighborhood!” & “The Meat Supermarket” (Western Beef)
Western Beef is a Queens-based chain of meat supermarkets. 'We know the neighborhood!" is its (apparently un-trademarked) slogan. http://www.westernbeef.com/ As part of an effective…
“We serve soup to nuts” (restaurant joke)
"From soup to nuts" is an old expression meaning everything, from beginning (soup) to end (nuts). "Nuts," however, is also slang for "crazy," prompting this 1935 joke:…
“We were so poor when I was young, when we went to KFC we had to lick other people’s fingers”
KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) has the slogan "finger lickin' good." ""We were so poor we used to get CARE packages from India. On Sundays, my dad used to load us up in the…
“We’re the King of Beef” (Old Homestead)
The Old Homestead steakhouse is in the heart of the meatpacking district, at 56 Ninth Avenue. It claims to be New York's oldest steakhouse (since 1868). A steer over the entrance proclaims:…
“Welcome to adulthood. You now have a collection of grocery bags that you store inside of a grocery bag”
Many people have a collection of grocery bags -- that they keep inside of a grocery bag. "And to my children I leave my collection of grocery bags that I store inside of a grocery bag" is…
“Welcome to the Karma Cafe. There are no menus ...”
"Welcome to the Karma Café. There are no menus here. You will get served what you deserve" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many posters. "Karma Cafe We have no menus…
“Went to a new restaurant called ‘The Kitchen’. You have to make your own meal”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many restaurants closing down. People had to cook for themselves. The unusual experience was posted on Twitter by Jessie on March 21, 2020:…
“Went to a restaurant called the Manhattan Project. It was not an Asian fusion restaurant. 1 Star”
Fusion cuisine has nothing to do with nuclear fusion, but there are jokes. "My wife and I's friend booked us a table at a restaurant called The Manhattan Project and I'M the bad guy…
“What did one worm say to another?”/“I know a restaurant where we can eat dirt cheap.”
To eat "dirt cheap" is to eat very cheaply. There's a joke: Q: Do you want to eat dirt cheap?A: I don't like dirt. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1926. Worms…
“What did the leprechaun do for a living?”/“He was a short-order cook.”
A popular St. Patrick's day riddle has been cited in print since at least 2001: Q: Did you hear about the leprechaun who worked at the diner? A: He was a short-order cook! A slightly different…
“What did the Terminator say after he got his coffee?”/“Hasta barista, baby.”
"Hasta la vista, baby" is a famous line that actor Arnold Schwarzenegger used in the film Terminator 2: Judgment Day. "Hasta barista, baby" is a line that has been printed on…
“What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza?”/“Little Caesars.”
"How do Mexicans cut their pizza?"/"With Little Caesars (scissors)" is a pun about the Little Caesars pizza chain that has been printed on many images. "How do Mexicans cut…
“What do penguin waiters say?”/“Waddle it be?”
"What do penguin waiters say? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 'Waddle it be?'" was posted on Twitter by Bobby Mitchum…
“What do you call a bakery staffed entirely by men?”/“A pastryarchy.”
“Pastryarchy” is a portmanteau of “pastry” and “patriarchy.” "SMASH THE PASTRYARCHY" was posted on Twitter by B-Cam on May 31, 2010. "#pastryarchy" (and a link to…
“What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar?”/“A flamethrower.”
A gay bar riddle is: Q: What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar?A: A flamethrower. The joke -- based on the old gay slang of "flaming faggot" -- was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…
“What do you call a Drosophila who likes to drink?”/” A bar fly.”
A "bar fly" is a person who sits at a bar (and is not an actual fly), but there's a joke: "What do you call a Drosophila who likes to drink? A bar fly." The joke was cited…
“What do you call a gay barista?”/“A Coffee Grindr.”
Grindr is an online dating application for gay, bi, trans, and queer people. "Coffee grindr" is a frequent joke. "Coffee Grindr: a phone app used to invite strangers back to yours…
“What do you call a lawyer who becomes a cook?”/“A sue chef.”
A sous-chef de cuisine (French for “under-chef of the kitchen") shouldn’t be confused with a “sue” chef, but there are jokes. Some versions have it as when a cook becomes a lawyer,…