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February 9, 2015
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog" is a popular joke. The dog does flips…

January 2, 2013
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“A hit dog will holler”

"A hit dog will holler" is an old proverb that has been popular in the southern United States. It means that a person who is offended by something someone has done will tell that person.…

October 15, 2021
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A horse goes into a bar and says, ‘Can I have a large aperitif?’” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several jokes about a "large aperitif" (large pair of teeth), usually…

January 12, 2021
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A horse runs into a bar…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." “A horse walks into a bar. Show jumping at its worst” is a related joke. Reddit --…

November 23, 2019
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One "Descartes before the horse" (the cart before the horse) pun combines two…

January 21, 2021
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A horse walks into a bar. Show jumping at its worst” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several show jumping variations. "A horse walk's into a bar, Needless…

September 3, 2019
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Hey!’ ...”

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A horse version is: "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hey!'…

December 5, 2016
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A horse walks into a bar…” (bar anti-joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular version involving a horse is: "A horse walks into a bar and the barman says,…

October 19, 2013
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A horse walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular version involving a horse is: "A horse walks into a bar and the barman says,…

September 21, 2018
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A horse walks into a barn…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "A horse walks into a barn" is an anti-joke. "A horse walks into a barn and…

January 10, 2022
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A horse, a dog, and a penguin walk into a bar…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A joke version is: *A horse, dog and penguin walk into a bar. Bartender: Seriously, why are…

January 19, 2013
Buildings/Housing/ParksPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“A house is not a home without a dog”

"A hosue is not a home without a dog" is a saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as signs, plaques and mugs. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1968. 30…

October 15, 2021
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“A large aperitif: contents of an Italian horse’s mouth”

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several jokes about a "large aperitif" (large pair of teeth), usually…

December 28, 2017
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“A large dog’s favorite pastry is a Great Danish”

A "Great Dane" is a dog; a "danish" is a pastry. "What do you get when you cross wonderful baking skills and a very large dog? A great danish" was posted on Twitter on…

August 30, 2013
Education/SchoolsPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“A professor must have a theory, as a dog must have fleas”

Newspaper columnist and author H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) disliked The New Criticism: A Lecture Delivered at Columbia University, March 9, 1910 (1911) by Joel Elias Spingarn (1876-1939). Mencken…

December 1, 2012
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Sports/Games

“A race horse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time”

"A race horse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time" is a pun on the idiom "to take somebody for a ride," meaning to cheat or deceive…

October 30, 2024
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“A recent survey has said that 29% of owners sleep with their pets on the bed. I tried it once, fucking goldfish died”

Should pets be allowed in bed? This joke was posted on Facebook by John Booth (and others) on October 10, 2021: "Thanks to the people that said its fine to allow your pets to sleep on your…

February 12, 2015
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A three-legged dog walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One popular joke is: "A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, looks around, and says,…

July 16, 2017
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“A wise Chinese man once said, “If a dog barks, it’s undercooked’”

What does a dog's barking mean? "A wise Chinese man once said, "If a dog barks, it's undercooked'" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. The saying…

January 31, 2023
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“After I’m done snacking, I have to show my hands to the dog like I’m a black jack dealer”

"When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The dog is looking the some food.…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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