“Trespassers Welcome: Dog food is expensive” (sign)
"Trespassers Are Welcome: Dog food is getting to be expensive" is a jocular warning sign that has been printed on many images. The implication is that a dog will eat trespassers.…
“Turkeys are just goth peacocks”
A turkey has sometimes been described as a "goth peacock." That is, a peacock without all of the colors. "turkeys jus look like goth peacocks" was posed on X/Twitterby bagel on…
“Two cats sit on a roof. Which falls off first?”/“The one with the smaller mu.”
A popular math joke is: Q: Two cats are sitting on a sloping roof. Which one falls off first?A: The one with the smallest mu. The Greek letter mu stands for the coefficient of friction. The cat…
“Voting comes naturally to cat owners. They’re used to checking a box for a piece of shit”
A joke about voting was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on August 10, 2021: "Voting comes naturally to cat owners. They're used to checking a box for a piece of shit." Reddit --…
“Wake up. Drink coffee. Hug dog. Repeat”
"Wake up. Drink coffee. Hug dog. Repeat" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Wake up, kiss dog, drink coffee, repeat" was posted on Twitter by Kelsey…
“We all need a dog to worship us, and a cat to bring us back to reality”
"Everyone needs a dog to adore him, and a cat/tiger to bring him back to reality" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "Every man needs two…
“What are you eating and how can I help?—dogs”
Dogs often watch (and beg) while people are eating. A joke was posted on Twitter by Elizabeth Hackett on July 20, 2017: "WHAT ARE YOU EATING AND HOW CAN I HELP?-- dogs" TwitterElizabeth…
“What did the cat say when he lost all his money?”/“I’m paw!”
A cat riddle is: Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?A: I'm paw (poor)! The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.games.tiberian-sun on October 23, 1999, and has been printed on…
“What did the cat say when he lost all his money?”/“I’m paw!”
A cat riddle is: Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?A: I'm paw! The "paw"/"poor" joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.games.tiberian-sun on October 23,…
“What did the dog get when he graduated from school?”/“A pedigree.”
A dog riddle is: Q: What did the dog get when he graduated from school?A: A pedigree. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on November 16, 2004. The portmanteau word…
“What did the hot dog say when he crossed the finish line?”/“I’m the wiener!”
A hot dog "wiener" pun is: Q: What did the hot dog say when he crossed the finish line?A: "I'm the wiener!" The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. 8 March…
“What do cat actors say on stage?”/“Tabby or not tabby!”
A cat riddle is: Q: What do cat actors say on stageA: "Tabby or not tabby!" This joke -- a parody of the "To be, or not to be" line from William Shakespeare's Hamlet -- has…
“What do cats read in the morning?”/“Mewspapers.”
A cat riddle is: Q: What do cats read in the morning?A: Mewspapers. The newspaper joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google BooksThe Kids' Cat BookBy Laima Dingwall and Annabel…
“What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?”/“They get their masters.”
There is a difference between "master's" (a degree) and "masters." A dog riddle was posted on Twitter on April 15, 2013: "Stupid joke of the day: What do dogs do after…
“What do programmers and cats have in common?” (joke)
A programmer riddle is: Q: What do programmers and cats have in common?A: When either one is unusually excited, an appropriate question is: 'Did you find a bug?'" The joke has been…
“What do race horses eat?”/“Fast food.”
A "fast food" riddle is: Q: What do race horses eat?A: Fast food. "Whast kinds of food does race horses eat? FAST FOOD! :) #cheesyjoke" was posted on Twitter by Arlynne Kayla on…
“What do you call a cat that eats lemons?”/“A sourpuss.”
A popular lemon riddle is: Q: What do you call a cat that eats lemons?A: A sourpuss. The cat joke has been cited in print since at least 1943. 1 May 1943, Vernon (TX) Daily Record, "Pepsi and…
“What do you call a cold puppy sitting on a rabbit?”/“A chili dog on a bun.”
A dog (hot dog) riddle is: Q: What do you call a cold puppy sitting on a rabbit?A: A chili dog on a bun. The joke was posted on the newsgroup bit.listserv.down-syn on August 29, 1997. Google…
“What do you call a frozen dog?”/“A pupsicle.”
A dog riddle is: Q: What do you call a frozen dog?A: A pupsicle. Forms of the "pupsicle" (pup + popsicle) riddle have been cited in print since at least 1965. 7 July 1965, Honolulu (HI)…
“What do you get after eating horsemeat?”/“The trots.”
A obvious joke about eating horse meat is that it gives you "the trots" (diarrhea). "Will eating horse meat give you the trots?" was posted on Twitter by Yahoo! AnswersBOT on…