To "make every second count" does not mean to "make every second Count Dracula," but there are jokes. "Bought a Dracula themed clock. Every second Count" was posted on…
"beheading" sounds like "be heading." "Going to an interview at a guillotine factory. I'll beheading there soon, maybe!" was posted on Twitter by Jay Gonzales on…
A joke about college rejection letters was posted on Twitter by "the name is Les" on November 18, 2018: "I got a rejection letter from the origami university today, I’m not sure…
"I got a sweater for Christmas, but I really wanted a screamer or a moaner" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The line was posted to the newsgroup…
"I got an A on my origami assignment when I turned my paper into my teacher" was posted on X/Twitter by Trey on April 19, 2016. "dailybadjokes: I got an A on my origami assignment…
A money joke was told by The Unknown Comic (Murray Langston) on television's The Gong Show (1976-1980): "I got an apartment over a bank. Now my assets over 10 million dollars." The…
An invitation stating "black tie only" means that men must wear a black tie, but not only a black tie. "I got an invite to a wedding that said 'black tie only'. But when I…
"Studying abroad" shouldn't be confused with "studying a broad," but there are jokes. "I got arrested for studying abroad. The police called it stalking" was…
"Studying abroad" shouldn't be confused with "studying a broad," but there are jokes. "I got arrested for studying abroad. The police called it stalking" was…
"Bail" shouldn't be confused with "bale," but there are jokes. "I got arrested yesterday for stealing hay from a farmer. I’ve been refused bale" was posted on…
The saying "I'll see myself out" means that someone will leave the premises without further assistance. It doesn't mean literal seeing, but there is a hall of mirrors joke.…
"T-shirt" shouldn't be confused with "tea shirt," but there are jokes. "Got thrown out of Coffee Club. I turned up wearing a tea shirt" was posted on Twitter by…
Many people put political signs in their yards, and this sometimes gets confused with realty signs. "Remember to double check lawn signs this Primary Election Season, I almost voted for a…
Eczema, diarrhoea, gonorrhoea and haemorrhoids are difficult to spell, and there are Scrabble jokes. "I got eczema, diarrhoea, gonorrhoea and haemorrhoids last week. First time I've ever…
"Taking notes" usually means "making notes," not "taking" or "stealing" them. Several jokes involve music school and music "notes." "I once…
"Taking notes" usually means "making notes," not "taking" or "stealing" them. Several jokes involve music school and music "notes." "I once…
"I got expelled from school on pajama day. Not my fault I sleep naked" is a jocular line that has been printed on many ecards. Many elementary schools hold a "pajama day," where…
One of the top sex jokes of all time is about the pickle factory worker who has an urge to put his penis in the pickle slicer. When he finally fulfills the urge, he gets fired. "What happened…
A "fast paced working environment" shouldn't be written as "fast paste working environment," but there are jokes. "Fast paste environment" was printed in a…
"Without making a scene" means without disruption. A theatre joke is: "I got fired from my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene." The theatre pun has been…