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July 17, 2014
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many people work in the Pentagon?” (joke)

The Pentagon is the headquarters of the United States Department of Defense and is located in Arlington County, Virginia. About 30,000 people work in the Pentagon. An old joke is told about a…

April 13, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many personal-injury lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?” (lawyer joke)

Personal injury lawyers sometimes have an unfavorable "ambulance chaser" reputation. A combination lawyer joke and lightbulb joke is: Q: How many personal-injury lawyers does it take to…

August 29, 2025
Food/Drink

“How many pieces of candy corn can you eat before you start thinking, ‘Is this what eating a candle would be like’?”

Wikipedia: Candy corn Candy corn is a small, pyramid-shaped candy, typically divided into three sections of different colors, with a waxy texture and a flavor based on honey, sugar, strawberry,…

April 20, 2016
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?” (joke)

The popular "lightbulb joke" doesn't have one standard version that involves politicians. "How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?" was cited as a…

September 18, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?” (joke)

“How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?” is a joke with many punchlines. A popular version is: Q: How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Not sure, first…

November 17, 2015
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many politicians would it take to save the world?” (joke)

John Lundin wrote on Politicus USA in November 2015: "To paraphrase an old joke, 'How many politicians would it take to save the world?' Answer: 'No one knows. It’s never been…

May 13, 2016
Food/Drink

“How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?”/“None.”

Ireland is known for potatoes, and there is a politically incorrect joke: Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?A: None. The question leads one to believe that an Irishman can…

August 11, 2016
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)

A well-known "light bulb" joke involving computer programmers is: Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. That's a hardware problem. The joke has been…

July 27, 2016
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many protesters does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)

Many people believe that protesting doesn't work. A joke is: Q: How many protesters does it take to change a light bulb?A: Trick question. Protesters never change anything. The joke has been…

February 17, 2018
Streets

“How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he’s lost?”

The Bob Dylan song "Blowin' in the Wind" (1962) begins: "How many roads must a man walk downBefore you call him a man?" "How many roads must a man walk down before he…

August 7, 2017
Sports/Games

“How many sides does a ball have?”/“Two—the inside and the outside.”

A classic riddle is: Q: How many sides does a ball have?A: Two -- the inside and the outside. "How many sides has a tree?" was a question asked in many newspapers in 1851. "How many…

June 30, 2022
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“How many ska bands does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (Joke)

Ska music has a tempo change, and fans often shout, "Pick it up! Pick it up!" This is the punchline of a popular ska joke. "q: how many ska bands does it take to screw in a…

June 30, 2022
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“How many ska kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (joke)

Ska music has a tempo change, and fans often shout, "Pick it up! Pick it up!" This is the punchline of a popular ska joke. "q: how many ska bands does it take to screw in a…

June 30, 2022
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“How many ska musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (joke)

Ska music has a tempo change, and fans often shout, "Pick it up! Pick it up!" This is the punchline of a popular ska joke. "q: how many ska bands does it take to screw in a…

March 16, 2015
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb?” (joke)

Singers have popular jokes on how many it takes to screw in a lightbulb: Q: How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.A:…

May 22, 2021
Time/Weather

“How many stars are in the sky?”/“All of them.”

An astronomy riddle is: Q: How many stars are in the sky?A: All of them. The riddle was printed in the "Ask Marilyn" column by Marilyn Mach Vos Savant in Parade Magazine on March 22,…

November 1, 2020
Art/Sculpture

“How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“A fish.”

A version of the popular lightbulb joke involving surrealism is: Q: How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?A: A fish. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1986.…

April 19, 2018
Education/Schools

“How many teachers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (riddle)

There have been several teacher versions of the traditional lightbulb joke. This is from 1990: Q: How many teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: One if at home, but on school time,…

September 14, 2017
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?”/“None. They can’t reach that high.”

An tenor version of the "lightbulb joke" is: Q: How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None. They can't reach that high. "How many tenors does it take to screw…

October 23, 2020
Food/Drink

“How much citrus does it take to kill a pirate?”/“None.”

Citrus fruits (lemons and limes) were used in the 19th century by sailors to prevent scurvy. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 27, 2017: Q: How much citrus does it take to kill a…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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