“Why did the girl get upset about eating indoors?”/“It was no picnic!”
"Eating indoors is no picnic" is a joke on two levels. A "picnic" is eating outdoors, so eating ndoors is "no picnic." Also, a "picnic" can mean an easy…
“Why did the girl sit on her watch?”/“She wanted to be on time.”
A watch riddle is: Q: Why did the girl sit on her watch?A: She wanted to be on time. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy Joseph…
“Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?”/“To go with the traffic jam.”
A "traffic jam" isn't made of jam, but there's a riddle: Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?A: To go with the traffic jam. The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?” (joke)
A corny old golf joke goes: Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? A: In case he got a hole in one. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1946. 21 June 1946, Bowie (TX) News,…
“Why did the gum cross the road?”/“Because it was under the chicken’s foot.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A gum version is: Q: Why did the gum cross the road?A: Because it was…
“Why did the guy name his dog 5 Miles?”/“So every day he can say, ‘I just walked 5 Miles.’”
Entry in progress -- B.P. "The doctor told me that I need to lose some weight, so I bought a dog, named him ‘Some Weight,’ and lost him" is a similar joke. Twitter Jamie…
“Why did the headless horseman go into business?”/“He wanted to get a head in life.”
A popular riddle about the headless horseman is: Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?A: He wanted to get ahead (a head) in life. The joke was posted to the newsgroup…
“Why did the hedgehog cross the road?”/“To see his flat mate.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A hedgehog version is: Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road?A: To…
“Why did the hedgehog cross the road?”/“To see his flatmate.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A hedgehog version is: Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road?A: To…
“Why did the helicopter trainee fail on his first flight?”/“He was cold, so he turned the fan off.”
A helicopter riddle is: Q: Why did the helicopter trainee fail on his first flight?A: He was cold, so he turned the fan off. A Polish joke version is: Q: Did you hear about the Polish helicopter…
“Why did the hermit crab cross the road?”/“To get to the Shell station.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A crab version has several answers. "why did the crab cross the…
“Why did the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee?”/“Because he’s an idiot.”
“How did the hipster burn his tongue?/"He drank his coffee before it was cool" is a popular riddle. There are anti-joke variations. "Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because…
“Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery?”/“The anesthesia wasn’t local.”
People are often encouraged to eat locally sourced food and to shop local. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 8, 2017: Q: Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery?A: The anesthesia…
“Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent?”/“Because he was bored of the rings.”
A The Lord of the Rings riddle was posted on the Sickipedia website on December 1, 2012: Q: Why did the hobbit turn his phone on silent?A: He was Bored of the Rings. "Why did the Hobbit put…
“Why did the homophone cross the rowed?”/“To get to the other sighed.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. "To get to the other sighed" is a jocular punchline.…
“Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread?”/“It was a crusty steed.”
A trusty steed shouldn't be confused with a "crusty" steed. A riddle is: Q: Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread? A: It was a crusty steed! A form of the joke…
“Why did the hot dogs need more room?”/“They were over-krauted.”
"Sauerkraut" gave the word "kraut" (for "German"). "Overkrauted" -- like "overcrowded" -- can mean too many Germans or too much sauerkraut.…
“Why did the hotel hire a skeleton on Halloween?”/“He had a skeleton key.”
A skeleton key is a master key that opens many doors. "Now I know how ghosts get into haunted houses. They use skeleton keys!" was printed in the Washington (DC) Post on November 28,…
“Why did the illusionist cross the road?”/“He didn’t.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. An illusionist version is: Q: Why did the illusionist cross the…
“Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?”/“He couldn’t see himself doing it.”
A riddle about the invisible man is: Q: Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?A: He couldn't see himself doing it. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2010. Wikipedia:…