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June 15, 2016
Food/Drink

“What do you call baby potatoes?”/“Small fry.”

A popular potato joke is: Q: What do you call baby potatoes?A: Small fry. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1991. "What do you call baby potatoes?"/"Tater tots" is…

June 15, 2016
Food/Drink

“What do you call baby potatoes?”/“Tater tots.”

A popular potato joke is: Q: What do you call baby potatoes?A: Tater tots. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1995. "What do you call baby potatoes?"/"Small fry" is…

December 14, 2021
Time/Weather

“What do you call baby snowmen?”/“Chill-dren.”

"what do you call baby snowmen? chill-dren" was posted on Twitter by belley belle on January 8, 2014. "Chill-dren" is a pun on "chill" and "children."…

December 26, 2021
Food/Drink

“What do you call bread that’s into BDSM?”/“Gluten for punishment.”

"Gluten" shouldn't be confused with "glutton," but there are jokes. One joke on the phrase "glutton for punishment" is "gluten for punishment."…

July 22, 2017
Food/Drink

“What do you call bread with your toe jam spread all over it?”/“Toest.”

A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 22, 2017: Q: What do you call bread with your toe jam spread all over it?A: Toest (toast). "Toe jam" and "toest" have been a…

November 8, 2016
Food/Drink

“What do you call cheese by itself?”/“Provolone.”

A cheese riddle has been printed on GIFs: Q: What do you call cheese by itself?A: Prov-alone (Provolone). The joke was posted to Reddit on June 10, 2014. Wikipedia: ProvoloneProvolone (pronounced…

March 11, 2023
Food/Drink

“What do you call cheese that accidentally escapes the International Space Station?”/“Space De Brie”

There is no "Brie" cheese in "debris," but there are jokes. "What do you call cheese that accidentally escapes the International Space Station? Space Da Brie" was…

November 19, 2016
Food/Drink

“What do you call cheese that is sad?”/“Bleu cheese.”

Does bleu cheese get the blues? A bleu cheese riddle is: Q: What do you call cheese that is sad?A: Bleu cheese. The cheesy joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. Civilization Fanatics…

September 11, 2019
Food/Drink

“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?”/“Nacho cheese.”

Nachos is a Tex-Mex dish dating from about 1940. In 1966, Doritos tortilla chips were created by Frito-Lay (a Texas company). A popular Doritos flavor (since 1972) is "nacho cheese." By…

November 19, 2021
Food/Drink

“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?”/“Stolen.”

“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?"/"Nacho cheese" is a famous riddle. "What do you call cheese that isn't yours?"/"Stolen" is an anti-joke of…

May 2, 2017
Food/Drink

“What do you call children born in whorehouses?”/“Brothel sprouts.”

A riddle about Brussels sprouts is: Q: What do you call children born in whorehouses?A: Brothel sprouts. The "brothel sprouts" pun has been cited in print since at least 1950, when the…

March 14, 2017
Food/Drink

“What do you call clumsy grapes?”/“Unconcordinated.”

A riddle about Concord grapes is: Q: What do you call clumsy grapes?A: Unconcordinated. The joke was posted on Twitter on December 2, 2015. Wikipedia: Concord grapeThe Concord grape is a cultivar…

July 29, 2018
Food/Drink

“What do you call corn stuck in a spider-web?”/“Corn on the cob.”

"Corn on the cob" doesn't come from cobwebs, but there are jokes. "What is a spiders favourite food? corn on the cob..web!" was posted on Twitter by Megan on October 31,…

October 8, 2016
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What do you call cows that don’t have a sense of humor?”/“Feminists.”

"What do you call cows with a sense of humor?"/"A laughing stock" is a joke from at least 1975 that was posted on Reddit on December 2, 2015. A slightly different joke was…

December 26, 2021
Food/Drink

“What do you call cream cheese with paprika?”/“Pap schmear.”

A "pap smear" has nothing to do with a "schmear" (or "shmear"), but there are jokes. Sometimes the "pap" stands for "papaya," "paprika"…

April 16, 2016
Time/Weather

“What do you call dangerous precipitation?”/“A rain of terror.”

"Rain" and "reign" lead to an obvious pun: Q: What do you call dangerous precipitation?A: A rain of terror. The joke has been cited on Twitter since September 12, 2013.…

December 19, 2025
Food/Drink

“What do you call dinosaur meat wrapped in bacon?”/“Jurassic Pork.”

Jurassic Park (a 1993 American science fiction adventure film about a team of genetic scientists who create a wildlife park of de-extinct dinosaurs) shouldn't be confused with "Jurassic…

April 16, 2018
Time/Weather

“What do you call Dracula with hay fever?”/“The pollen Count.”

The pollen count has nothing to do with Count Dracula, but there have been jokes. "Pollen Count Dracula" was posted on Twitter on March 5, 2011. "The pollen count is Dracula!…

July 29, 2020
Food/Drink

“What do you call eating only a little bit of someone at a time?”/“Can-nibble-ism.”

"Cannibal" can sound like "can nibble" -- meaning someone "able to nibble" or someone who "nibbles cans" (or nibbles from cans). "What kind of person…

June 19, 2019
Food/Drink

“What do you call fake potatoes?”/“Imitaters.”

Potatoes are called "taters." A potato riddle was posted on Twitter by Garth Loner on November 9, 2012: Q: What do you call a fake potato? A: An imitater! This riddle -- in the plural --…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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