“What did the light house keeper do when he lost his job?” (joke)
"Lighthouse work" is sometimes confused with "light housework." "That's 'light housework', not 'lighthouse work'. but I can see why you might get…
“What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?”/“It’s pasture bedtime.”
"Pasture bedtime" sounds like "past your bedtime," and there are several jokes. "Jill: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? Bill: I dunno, What? Jill: It's…
“What did the man ask the Jamaican chef?”/“What Jamaican?”
A joke about Jamaican cooking is: Q: What did the man ask the Jamaican chef?A: What Jamaican (what are you making)? "JAMAICAN: My son came up to me when I was cooking and asked, 'Hey,…
“What did the mom coffee bean say to the kid coffee bean?”/“You’re grounded.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterCoffee Folk@coffeefoIkWhat did the mom coffee bean say to the kid coffee bean? You're grounded.5:57 PM - 5 May 2018
“What did the monkey say after he got his tail in a lawn mower?”/“It won’t be long now.”
The are several puns about a monkey and its tail. "'That ends my tale,' said the monkey as he backed into the lawnmower" was printed in the Binghamton (NY) Press and Leader on…
“What did the monkey say after he got his tail in a revolving door?”/“It won’t be long now.”
A revolving door riddle is: Q: What did the monkey say after he got his tail caught in a revolving door?A: "It won't be long now." "What did the monkey say when he caught his…
“What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?”/“Pleased to eat you.”
A Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?A: "Pleased to eat you." The riddle was posted to the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on November 29,…
“What did the mouse say to the keyboard?”/“You’re just my type.”
A computer mouse riddle is: Q: What did the mouse say to the keyboard?A: You're just my type. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2011. Reddit -- FunnyPosted by u/chompy_jr August…
“What did the noodle say when leaving the room?”/“Pasta la vista, baby!”
A pasta riddle is: Q: What did the noodle say when leaving the room?A: "Pasta la vista, baby!" "Pasta la vista" is a portmanteau of "pasta" and "hasta la…
“What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?”/“I’m a cashew.”
A cashew riddle is: Q: What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?A: "I'm a cashew (catch you)." The joke was posted on Twitter by Spooky Dad Jokes on September 14,…
“What did the painter say to the wall?”/“One more crack and I’ll plaster you!”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twitterjischinger @jischingersukatra - What did the painter say to the wall?7:40 PM - 30 Sep 2008 TwitterKelly @kellytruthsRT @Jack_In_ChicagoWhat did the painter…
“What did the pancake say to the baseball player?”/“Batter up!”
A baseball riddle is: Q: What did the pancake say to the baseball player?A: "Batter up!" The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1997. “How is a baseball team like a…
“What did the pancake say to the baseball player?”/“Batter up!”
A baseball riddle is: Q: What did the pancake say to the baseball player?A: "Batter up!" The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1997. “How is a baseball team like a…
“What did the paper say to the pencil?”/“Right on!”
A pencil riddle was printed in the Philadelphia (PA) Inquirer on October 16, 1940: Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: "I'm beginning to see the point." A different riddle…
“What did the paper say to the pencil?”/“Write on!”
A pencil riddle was printed in the Philadelphia (PA) Inquirer on October 16, 1940: Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: "I'm beginning to see the point." A different riddle…
“What did the paper say to the pencil?”/“You’ve got a good point.”
A pencil riddle was printed in the Philadelphia (PA) Inquirer on October 16, 1940: Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: "I'm beginning to see the point." A different riddle…
“What did the penguin’s lawyer say?”/“Your honor, my client is CLEARLY not a flight risk.”
At a bail hearing, one concern is if the defendant is a "flight risk" -- that is, the risk of leaving the jurisdiction and not showing up for trial. "Flight risk" doesn't…
“What did the Pilgrims use to bake cakes?”/“May-flour.”
A Thanksgiving food riddle is: Q: What did the Pilgrims use to bake cakes?A: May-flour. "What did the Pilgrims use to bake cakes? May-flour!" was posted on Twitter on November 25, 2009.…
“What did the potato chip say to the battery?”/“If you’re Eveready, I’m Frito-Lay.”
A pun on the name Frito-Lay is: Q: What did the potato chip say to the battery?A: If you're Eveready, I'm Frito-Lay. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on June 5, 1990.…
“What did the rabbit say to the carrot?”/“It’s been nice gnawing you.”
"It's been nice gnawing you" (a pun on "knowing") has been cited in print since at least 1950. It's frequently made into a rabbit riddle: Q: What did the rabbit say to…