“72 hours later, you’re hungry again” (joke about eating deli food)
The old line about Chinese food is that it isn't filling: "A few hours later, you're hungry again." New York's Jewish delis are known for their overstuffed sandwiches,…
“80% of arguments happen because someone hasn’t eaten yet”
"80% of arguments start because someone hasn't eaten yet" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by AV on June 20, 2020. "80% of…
“80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet”
"80% of arguments start because someone hasn't eaten yet" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by AV on June 20, 2020. "80% of…
“80% of success is drinking enough coffee”
"80% of success is drinking enough coffee" is a coffee saying that was posted on Instagram by thecoffeecousins on December 29, 2016. InstagramthecoffeecousinsDECEMBER 29, 2016(The…
“80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read”
"80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on GIFs. The saying was…
“85% of the Internet considers themselves an introvert and they are all outspoken about it”
Many people who use the internet are introverts -- and they tell everyone about it. A saying was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on August 15, 2017: "85% of the Internet considers…
“86” (not from Chumley’s or Empire State Building)
"Eighty six," in restaurant lingo, means to be out of an item. It is sometimes claimed that it comes from Chumley's, at 86 Bedford Street, or that it comes from the Empire State…
“87% of gym members don’t even know their gym is closed”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic closed many gyms. However, many gym members never regularly went to the gym, anyway. "87% of gym members don’t even know their gym is closed" was…
“9/11 jokes always fall flat”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular joke was posted on Twitter on February 6,…
“9/11 jokes aren’t funny. But the other 2 are”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular joke is: "9/11 jokes aren't…
“9/11 jokes aren’t funny. They’re just plane wrong”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular joke is: "9/11 jokes aren't…
“9/11 was an inside job”
"9/11 was an inside job" is a slogan of 9/11 "truthers" who believe that the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center were a false flag operation organized by the…
“90% of the regrets in my life involve alcohol and the ‘send’ button”
"90% of the regrets in my life involve alcohol and the 'send' button" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images. The saying refers to drunk…
“95% of electric vehicles are still on the road. The remaining 5% made it all the way home”
"95% of electric vehicles are still on the road. The remaining 5% made it all the way home" is a joke that has been printed on several images. The speaker believes that electric cars…
“99 little bugs in the code” (programming joke)
The song "99 Bottles of Beer" goes: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.Take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall... A computer version that has been…
“99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people”
"99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people" is a joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 19, 2014. The speaker is not intelligent --…
“99% of my personality is just coffee and I’m OK with that”
"As it turns out, 93% of my personality was (just) coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. “@Gregospeck: I have discovered that 92% of my personality is…
“A ‘conspiracy theorist’ is someone who figures out the truth before most people”
An image has been cited in print since at least May 28, 2022: DAUGHTER: "Mom, what's a conspiracy theorist?"MOTHER: "Somebody who figures out the truth before most people,…
“A $300 bat won’t fix your 50 cent swing” (baseball adage)
Baseball bats can be expensive, but an expensive bat doesn't automatically turn a player into a good hitter. "A $300 bat won't fix your 50 cent swing" is a baseball adage of…
“A 20 Hz sine wave walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A physics version is: "A time-stretched sinusoid walks into a bar. The bartender asks,…