“*gently puts my mental health in rice*”
"*gently puts my mental health in rice*" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A phone that fell into the toilet can possibly be revived after being put in uncooked rice, but…
“*Inventing celery* Damn I wish I could bite water with hair in it”
Celery, to many people, tastes like water with strings in it. "*Inventing celery* Damn I wish I could bite water with hair in it" was posted on Twitter by Knives McGee on December 6,…
“*seductively dabs eggnog behind ears*”
Who needs perfume? "Seductively dabs Cheeto's dust behind my ears while making eye contact" was posted on X/Twitter by Kayton Kimberly on September 17, 2017. "*seductively dabs…
“*seductively dabs gravy behind my ears*”
Who needs perfume? "Seductively dabs Cheeto's dust behind my ears while making eye contact" was posted on X/Twitter by Kayton Kimberly on September 17, 2017. "*seductively dabs…
“*trips over crack in sidewalk* [under breath] parkour”
Not every experience in an urban environment can be credited as "parkour." This joke was posted on X/Twitter by 🤷🏼♂️ on Febuay 1, 2018: *trips over crack in sidewalk* [under…
“$1,000 isn’t a lot of money to have, but it is a lot to owe”
"Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe and very little money to own" (or "Being an adult is realizing that $1,000 is little money to have, but a lot to…
“$100 is basically an adult dollar”
"$20 is like an adult dollar" is a saying that has been printed on several images. $100 has also been called an adult dollar. That is, just a dollar doesn't have significant value…
“$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day. All eight books were recovered”
College textbooks are expensive. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 3, 2018: "$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day. All eight books were recovered."…
“$20 is like an adult dollar”
"$20 is like an adult dollar" is a saying that has been printed on several images. $100 has also been called an adult dollar. That is, just a dollar doesn't have significant value…
“1. Bel canto, 2. Can belto, 3. Can’t belto, 4. Can’t canto” (four stages of a soprano’s life)
New York-born Ira Siff created La Gran Scena Opera Co. in 1981, often featuring Siff's diva character, Madame Vera Galupe-Borszkh. In the recording "Forgeef Me My Enklish": the Wit…
“1% control the world. 4% are their puppets. 90% are asleep. 5% know and try to wake up the 90%”
"1% control the world. 4% are their puppets. 90% are asleep. 5% know and try to wake the 90%. The 1% use the 4% to prevent the 5% from waking up the 90%" is a saying that has been printed…
“10 out of 10 doctors agree with whoever is paying them”
"9/10 scientists will agree with whoever is paying them" was posted on Twitter by RRP on May 15, 2021. "10 out of 10 scientists agree with those who are paying them...." was…
“10 out of 10 scientists agree with whoever funded them”
"9/10 scientists will agree with whoever is paying them" was posted on Twitter by RRP on May 15, 2021. "10 out of 10 scientists agree with those who are paying them...." was…
“10 out of 10 scientists agree with whoever is paying them”
"9/10 scientists will agree with whoever is paying them" was posted on Twitter by RRP on May 15, 2021. "10 out of 10 scientists agree with those who are paying them...." was…
“10:00am - anything is possible. 2:00pm - but not today”
"11:00am - anything is possible. 2:00pm - but not today" is a work saying that has been printed on many images, often with different hours. "11:00am - anything is possible. 2:00pm -…
“10” or “Ten” (root beer)
Newspapers.com 10 June 1929, Pittsburgh (PA) Post-Gazette, "Pittsburghesque" by Charles F. Danver, pg. 8, col. 6: The Soda Jerkers' Code.The young bartenders in one of those big…
“100 years ago everyone had horses and only the rich had cars”
Milwaukee (WI) Sentinel columnist Alex Thien wrote on July 1, 1993: "There was a time when only poor people had horses and only the rich had cars. And now only the poor people have cars and…
“100% of people who confuse correlation with causation end up dead”
"Correlation does not imply causation" is a popular phase. "Every single person who confuses correlation and causation ends up dying" (also "Everyone who confuses…
“101 lemmings walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A lemmings version is: "20 lemmings walk into a bar. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!…
“11:00am - anything is possible. 2:00pm - but not today”
"11:00am - anything is possible. 2:00pm - but not today" is a work saying that has been printed on many images, often with different hours. "11:00am - anything is possible. 2:00pm -…