“I’m running on coffee and bad decisions”
"I run on coffee and bad decisions" (or "I'm running on coffee and bad decisions") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm tired as hell,…
“I’m running out of unproductive things to do at work”
"I'm running out of unproductive things to do at work" is a jocular statement that has been printed on a Rottenecard. "I'm running out of unproductive things to do at…
“I’m seeing way too many plus size vegans… ARE Y’ALL FRYING THE LETTUCE?”
"I'm seeing way too many plus size vegans... ARE Y'ALL FRYING THE LETTUCE?" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "I'M SEEING WAY TOO MANY PLUS SIZE VEGANS.…
“I’m selling my theremin… I haven’t touched it in years”
The theremin is a musical instrument that's played without physical contact. A classic joke is: "I'm thinking of selling my theremin. I haven't touched it in years."…
“I’m sick of all these Irish stereotypes. As soon as I finish this drink, I’m punching someone”
"I'm sick of all these Irish stereotypes. As soon as I finish this drink, I'm punching someone" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. The line was posted on…
“I’m sick of these libs telling me I can’t say “Happy Honda Days” because I might offend someone who celebrates Toyotathon…”
Some people celebrate "Happy Honda Days," while others celebrate Toyotathon. A political correctness joke (the original tweet by Jordan Morris on December 6, 2017, received over 176,000…
“I’m sick of vegans interrogating me about my eating habits. It’s like the spinach inquisition!”
"Spanish Inquisition" sounds a bit like "spinach inquisition," and there are jokes. "Nobody expects the Spinach Inquisition" is a pun on the famous "Nobody…
“I’m so addicted to coffee, I don’t sweat. I percolate”
"I'm so addicted to coffee, I don't sweat. I percolate" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...…
“I’m so bad at chess the only way I’ll get to say ‘checkmate’ is at an Australian restaurant”
There's a difference between "Checkmate!" (said at the end of a game of chess) and "Check/cheque, mate!" (said at the end of a restaurant meal in Australia), but it's…
“I’m so bad at chess the only way I’ll get to say ‘checkmate’ is at an Australian restaurant”
There's a difference between "Checkmate!" (said at the end of a game of chess) and "Check/cheque, mate!" (said at the end of a restaurant meal in Australia), but it's…
“I’m so broke, I gotta fart to get a cent in my pocket”
"Cent" shouldn't be confused with "scent," but there are jokes. "I'm so broke I'd have to fart twice to have a cent(scent) in my pocket" was posted on…
“I’m so broke, I have to fart to have a cent in my pocket!”
"Cent" shouldn't be confused with "scent," but there are jokes. "I'm so broke I'd have to fart twice to have a cent(scent) in my pocket" was posted on…
“I’m so broke, I have to fart to have a scent in my pocket”
"Cent" shouldn't be confused with "scent," but there are jokes. "I'm so broke I'd have to fart twice to have a cent(scent) in my pocket" was posted on…
“I’m so broke, the bank asked for their calendar back”
Many banks give away free calendars. "I'm so broke, the bank asked for their calendar back" was posted on the newsgroup pdaxs.services.children on August 22, 2005. Google Groups:…
“I’m so fake at work. I be using words like,‘That’s awesome!’ and ‘You bet!’”
Many people act fake at work, pretending to be pleasant and agreeable with co-workers. "I'm so fake at work. I honestly don't give two fucks about how your days been going smh"…
“I’m so glad I was taught how to play the recorder at school….” (joke)
Many people are forced to play the recorder at school, but later find that their recorder skills didn't improve their lives. This joke was posted on Twitter by 𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 on…
“I’m so good Santa came twice”
"I'm so good Santa came twice" is a jocular Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is perhaps NSFW. “@NilamL: last year i was so good, santa came…
“I’m so happy I don’t drive. Especially with all this car owner virus going around”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is sometimes jocularly understood as the "car owner virus." "Car Owner Virus" was posted on Twitter by Loudmouthman on January 22, 2020.…
“I’m so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the rider”
"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" is a saying from the 1700s and 1800s, when horses were used for transportation (and eating the horse would be a last resort). "I'm so…
“I’m so hungry I could eat my own cooking”
"I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Back at base after a gruelling trip north. I'm so hungry I could eat my own…