“I’m on this new diet where I drink coffee instead of biting people”
"I'm on this new diet where I drink coffee instead of biting people" and "I'm on a/the coffee diet. That's when I drink coffee and don't bite people" are…
“I’m on two diets. I don’t get enough to eat on just one”
Are two diets better than one? "I went on a diet once. Wasn't getting enough to eat so I went on two diets" was posted on the newsgroup rec.skydiving on January 13, 1998. "I had…
“I’m only a morning person on December 25th”
"I'm only a morning person on December 25th" is a Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. People like to wake up early and check out their Christmas presents.…
“I’m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand”
"I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand" is a saying that has been printed on many images. TwitterLucia De Giovanni @luciadegiovanniI am responsible for…
“I’m only speeding because I really have to poop” (bumper sticker)
"I'm only speeding because I really have to poop" is a popular jocular bumper sticker. “I’m only speeding because I have to poop" has been cited in print since at least…
“I’m only taking friend requests from cats”
"Please understand I am only taking new friend requests from dogs" is a social media saying that has been printed on many images. "Just fyi, I'm only accepting facebook friend…
“I’m only taking friend requests from dogs”
"Please understand I am only taking new friend requests from dogs" is a social media saying that has been printed on many images. "Just fyi, I'm only accepting facebook friend…
“I’m outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios”
"I'm outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "This weekend I found out I'm 'outdoorsy'. In…
“I’m outdoorsy. I drink my wine on the patio”
"I'm outdoorsy. I drink (my) wine on my/the patio" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm outdoorsy in that I like to drink wine on my patio" was…
“I’m outdoorsy. I drink my wine on the porch”
"I'm outdoorsy. I drink (my) wine on the porch" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm outdoorsy, as in, I like to sit on my porch and drink wine…
“I’m outdoorsy. I drink wine on my patio”
"I'm outdoorsy. I drink (my) wine on my/the patio" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm outdoorsy in that I like to drink wine on my patio" was…
“I’m outdoorsy. I drink wine on the porch”
"I'm outdoorsy. I drink (my) wine on the porch" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm outdoorsy, as in, I like to sit on my porch and drink wine…
“I’m overpaying him, but he’s worth it”
Polish-American movie producer Samuel Goldwyn (1879-1974) was known for his malapropisms, or "Goldwynisms." Syndicated newspaper columnist Walter Winchell wrote in June 1940: "Samuel…
“I’m planning on being spontaneous sometime next week”
"Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on the newsgroup bit.listserv.os2-l on August 15, 1997. Authorship is…
“I’m planning on having my favorite drink this weekend. It’s called a lot”
"Tonight I'm going to have my favorite drink. It's called 'a lot'" (or "Tonight, I'll be having my favorite drink. It's called a lot") is a…
“I’m planning to start a jewelry business. If you want to help, give me a ring”
"Give me a ring" usually means a telephone ring and not a diamond ring, but there are jokes. "Planning to start a jewellery business. If you want to help, give me a ring" was…
“I’m pretty certain if I had any self-control today, I’d probably eat that, too”
Some people eat and have no self-control. "'@Oobrey: If I had any self control I'd probably eat that too.' #LOL" was posted on Twitter by Ali Bomaye on December 12, 2012.…
“I’m pretty sure I like food more than people”
"I love food more than I love people" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. "I love food more than I like people. It's not even close" was posted on…
“I’m pretty sure there isn’t life on other planets. If there was, we would have sent them billions of dollars in foreign aid by now”
“I’m pretty sure there isn’t life on other planets. If there was, we would have sent them billions of dollars in foreign aid by now” is a jocular saying that has been printed on several…
“I’m proud to pay taxes; I could be just as proud for half the money”
Arthur Godfrey (1903-1983) made a fortune in hosting radio and television talent show. The October 1951 Reader's Digest quoted Godfrey: "I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United…