“I went fishing today with my two friends, Rod and Annette”
Who's the best couple to go fishing with? Rod and Annette (a net), of course! "What do you call a Genestealer and a Sister of Battle fishing? Rod and Annette" was posted on the…
“I went fishing using liquorice as bait. I caught all sorts”
"Went fishing today, used liquorice as bait. Caught allsorts" was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on March 5, 2011. The joke was originally posted on the Sickipedia website. The…
“I went for a job as a contortionist. They asked, ‘How flexible are you?’” (joke)
A person can be physically flexible, and the person's schedule can also be flexible. There are several jokes. "So I said to the Gym instructor 'Can you teach me to do the…
“I went for a job at a suntan lotion factory. I didn’t get it, but I’m going to reapply”
"I applied for a job at a sunscreen factory. Unfortunately, I didn't get it. No worries. I'm going to re-apply" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Kim Harman on September…
“I went for a run, but came back home after 5 minutes because I forgot something..”
"I went for a run, but came back home after 5 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes" was posted on Twitter by…
“I went into a restaurant with no shirt or shoes and my phone still worked so take that, sign”
Many restaurants have "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" signs. "Good thing your phone company doesn't have one of those 'no shirt no shoes no service' signs" was…
“I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic” (joke)
Books about the Titanic should not be confused with books on the Titanic, but there are jokes. This was posted on the Sickipedia website on April 15, 2012 (the 100th anniversary of the ship's…
“I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?”
"Farcical" sounds a little bit like "far cycle." A pun is: "I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?" The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007.…
“I went on an online video call and a picture of a can of spam appeared on my screen. I think it was a zoom meat tin”
"Zoom meeting" is sometimes joked as "zoom meat tin." "Just gone online for a video conference call.. A can of corned beef popped up on my screen.. Must be a zoom meat…
“I went outside today, it was cold and there were people. Zero stars. Do not recommend it”
"Went outside today. It was cold and there were people. Zero stars. Do not recommend" (or "I went outside today, it was cold and there were people. Zero stars. Do not recommend…
“I went to a BLM rally this weekend and all I got was this lousy t shirt…”
"My parent went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" is a popular meme from the 1970s. June and July 2020 had protests and civil unrest (riots) following the death of George…
“I went to a buffet restaurant in Northwest Canada the other day. It was all Yukon eat”
"Yukon" sounds like "you can," and there are "All Yukon Eat" jokes. "Alaskan Crab Legs (...) ALL YUKON EAT!!" was in an advertisement in the Daily Press…
“I went to a deli and said, ‘I’d like to buy a bagel with cream cheese’” (joke)
"I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese" is not always the same as "I'd like to buy a bagel and cream cheese." The following joke (which went viral) was posted on…
“I went to a drama class and a soccer game broke out”
Many people watching soccer (especially World Cup soccer) have long believed that the soccer players fall down and "act" to draw penalties on the opposing players. "I just went to a…
“I went to a family restaurant and they refused to serve me a family”
A joke about a "family restaurant" was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on February 27, 2020: "I went to a family restaurant and they refused to serve me a family." Other family…
“I went to a fetish restaurant last night. I got toed in the hole!”
The British dish of "toad in the hole" has had some "toed in the hole" sex jokes. This was posted on Twitter on January 21, 2013: "Took the wife out for dinner but all she…
“I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out”
Fighting has long been a part of ice hockey. Comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) -- who founded Dangerfield's comedy club in Manhattan -- made a popular joke about it in July 1978: "I…
“I went to a German restaurant and ordered an omelette. I just got a plate with two dots on it!”
"Omelette" shouldn't be confused with "umlaut," but there are jokes. "German restaurant joke.... I went to a German restaurant and ordered an omelette....I just got a…
“I went to a market that only sold jelly and custard. It was a trifle bazaar”
"Trifle bizarre" (meaning "a bit strange") shouldn't be confused with "trifle bazaar" (meaning "a market that sells trifles"), but there are jokes.…
“I went to a meeting of recovering hackers. It was called Anonymous Anonymous”
There are many "Anonymous" help groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous. What would a hackers group be called? "What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting called? Anonymous…