The Big Apple
About Archives Categories Index Search
About Archives Categories Index Search

May 22, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My girlfriend told me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter” (joke)

A joke about being a news reporter was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic on December 25, 2015: "So my girlfriend told me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter. Well…

May 13, 2020
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My grandad asked me how to print on his computer. I told him it’s Ctrl-P” (joke)

Ctrl-P (print) sounds like "control pee." "Microsoft discriminates against incontinent people, with the continued insistence that they control pee to print" was posted on…

December 29, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My idols are shadowbanned and my enemies are all verified”

"My idols are shadowbanned and my enemies are all verified" is a saying (referring to Twitter) that has been printed on several images. That is, the people who Twitter promotes are bad,…

February 18, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My internet bride got delivered today. She’s the WiFi always dreamed of”

"WiFi" sounds like "wife I." A pun was posted on Twitter by Dave Thomas on March 18, 2012: "My internet bride got delivered today, she's the WiFi always dreamed…

July 15, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My internet is so slow, it’s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them”

"My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit/stuff in person" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images.…

February 5, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My internet was down for 5 minutes, so I spoke to my family. They seem like nice people”

Does the internet make people antisocial? A joke has been printed on many ecards: "My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family… They seem like nice…

March 28, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My love for the truth outweighs my fear of offending you”

"My love for the truth outweighs my fear of offending you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying involves the first amendment (the right to free speech) against…

June 6, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My memes are like your ex. Stolen and passed around”

"My memes are like your ex. Stolen and passed around" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Memes getting passed around like my ex" was posted on Facebook by Tuguy…

March 5, 2019
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My mind is like an internet browser. I have 19 tabs open, 3 are frozen ...”

"My mind is like an/my internet browser. I have 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…

January 12, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My opinion of message boards? I’m all forum!”

"Forum" sounds like "for them," and there are jokes. "What do you guys think of message boards? ....I'm all forum" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 25,…

July 7, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid”

A joke about auto-correction was posted on Twitter by Shari VanderWerf on May 15, 2010: "My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid." TwitterShari…

May 30, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I probably am”

When a person doesn't respond to a text, is that intentional or is that person just away from a phone? "My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am" is a…

May 30, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am”

When a person doesn't respond to a text, is that intentional or is that person just away from a phone? "My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am" is a…

May 30, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, yes I am”

When a person doesn't respond to a text, is that intentional or is that person just away from a phone? "My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am" is a…

July 27, 2023
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My phone just filmed a 3 hour documentary about life inside my pocket”

Many people mistakenly leave their phones on when they're put back in a pocket -- and the phone films that pocket. "My phone just filmed a 3/5/6 hour documentary about life in/inside my…

July 27, 2023
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My phone just filmed a 5 hour documentary about life in my pocket”

Many people mistakenly leave their phones on when they're put back in a pocket -- and the phone films that pocket. "My phone just filmed a 3/5/6 hour documentary about life in/inside my…

July 27, 2023
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket”

Many people mistakenly leave their phones on when they're put back in a pocket -- and the phone films that pocket. "My phone just filmed a 3/5/6 hour documentary about life in/inside my…

June 7, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My posts are like your ex. Stolen and passed around”

"My memes are like your ex. Stolen and passed around" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Memes getting passed around like my ex" was posted on Facebook by Tuguy…

April 9, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“My posts were removed. Someone took a fence”

Entry in progress -- BP Reddit -- Dadjokes Posted by u/Brucemoose1 October 14, 2020Recently I’ve had to remove several of my posts.Someone took a fence. Reddit -- DadjokesPosted by…

October 15, 2025
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/InternetWork/Businesses

“My signature move is writing ‘please see attached’ and then confidently hitting send with absolutely nothing attached”

Many people write "please see attached" in an email -- and then forget to attach anything. This was posted on X/Twitter and Bluesky by sixfootcandy on August 20, 2025: "My signature…

First
Previous
43 44 45 46 47
Next
Last

About the Website and Editor

BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

Read more About the Website and Editor
About
Privacy Policy
RSS

© 2026 Barry Popik. All rights reserved.