“My friends call me ‘The Computer.’ I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes”
"My friends call me 'The Computer'. Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes" was posted on Twitter by Ben on May 20, 2015.…
“My girlfriend just couldn’t accept my obsession with horoscopes. In the end it Taurus apart”
Many people are obsessed with newspaper/internet horoscopes. "Taurus" sounds like "tore us." "Before we split up, my wife was obsessed with horoscopes.I'm sure…
“My girlfriend told me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter” (joke)
A joke about being a news reporter was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic on December 25, 2015: "So my girlfriend told me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter. Well…
“My grandad asked me how to print on his computer. I told him it’s Ctrl-P” (joke)
Ctrl-P (print) sounds like "control pee." "Microsoft discriminates against incontinent people, with the continued insistence that they control pee to print" was posted on…
“My idols are shadowbanned and my enemies are all verified”
"My idols are shadowbanned and my enemies are all verified" is a saying (referring to Twitter) that has been printed on several images. That is, the people who Twitter promotes are bad,…
“My internet bride got delivered today. She’s the WiFi always dreamed of”
"WiFi" sounds like "wife I." A pun was posted on Twitter by Dave Thomas on March 18, 2012: "My internet bride got delivered today, she's the WiFi always dreamed…
“My internet is so slow, it’s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them”
"My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit/stuff in person" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images.…
“My internet was down for 5 minutes, so I spoke to my family. They seem like nice people”
Does the internet make people antisocial? A joke has been printed on many ecards: "My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family… They seem like nice…
“My love for the truth outweighs my fear of offending you”
"My love for the truth outweighs my fear of offending you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying involves the first amendment (the right to free speech) against…
“My memes are like your ex. Stolen and passed around”
"My memes are like your ex. Stolen and passed around" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Memes getting passed around like my ex" was posted on Facebook by Tuguy…
“My mind is like an internet browser. I have 19 tabs open, 3 are frozen ...”
"My mind is like an/my internet browser. I have 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“My opinion of message boards? I’m all forum!”
"Forum" sounds like "for them," and there are jokes. "What do you guys think of message boards? ....I'm all forum" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 25,…
“My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid”
A joke about auto-correction was posted on Twitter by Shari VanderWerf on May 15, 2010: "My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid." TwitterShari…
“My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I probably am”
When a person doesn't respond to a text, is that intentional or is that person just away from a phone? "My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am" is a…
“My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am”
When a person doesn't respond to a text, is that intentional or is that person just away from a phone? "My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am" is a…
“My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, yes I am”
When a person doesn't respond to a text, is that intentional or is that person just away from a phone? "My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am" is a…
“My phone just filmed a 3 hour documentary about life inside my pocket”
Many people mistakenly leave their phones on when they're put back in a pocket -- and the phone films that pocket. "My phone just filmed a 3/5/6 hour documentary about life in/inside my…
“My phone just filmed a 5 hour documentary about life in my pocket”
Many people mistakenly leave their phones on when they're put back in a pocket -- and the phone films that pocket. "My phone just filmed a 3/5/6 hour documentary about life in/inside my…
“My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket”
Many people mistakenly leave their phones on when they're put back in a pocket -- and the phone films that pocket. "My phone just filmed a 3/5/6 hour documentary about life in/inside my…
“My posts are like your ex. Stolen and passed around”
"My memes are like your ex. Stolen and passed around" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Memes getting passed around like my ex" was posted on Facebook by Tuguy…