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October 16, 2022
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Windows is a pane in the glass”

"Fixing broken windows is a pane in the glass" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "Pane in the glass" is a pun on "pain in the ass." There…

August 22, 2020
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Windows is for those who don’t want to know why their computer doesn’t work”

An operating system joke was posted on the newsgroup de.comm.infosystems.www.servers by Nikolaus Rath on March 5, 2001: "Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer…

August 7, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Wireless bra? What’s the password?”

A “wireless bra” can’t access the internet, but there are jokes. "A wireless bra? They weren't tricky enough, now I need a password?" was posted on X/Twitter by Jeff Dwoskin…

July 13, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Without Facebook I would forget 90% of my friend’s birthdays”

Facebook is a social networking service that provides birthday reminders. "Without Facebook I would forget 99% of my friends birthdays" was posted on Twitter by @TeenQuotes101 on December…

February 10, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Woke up to my 6yo holding my hand this morning. It was such a sweet 3 seconds before I realized he was using my fingerprint to break into my phone”

The touch of a young child's hand can feel magical -- until sometimes it isn't. This was posted on X/Twitter by Heather M. Jones on December 6, 2019: "Woke up to my 6yo holding my…

July 25, 2019
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Women are like phones. They love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button…”

"Girls/Women are like phones. They/We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…

February 27, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Words cannot express how much I hate emojis”

Emojis are "picture words." "Words do not describe how much I hate emojis" was posted on Twitter by Jack on March 7, 2014. "Words cannot express how much I hate emojis.…

December 5, 2010
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“World Ends: Women and Minorities Hardest Hit” (NY Times headline joke)

A conservative joke shows how a liberal newspaper -- such as the New York (NY) Times or Washington (DC) Post or Austin (TX) American-Statesman -- would headline the ultimate disaster: "World…

November 9, 2014
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.—Anonymous”

"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. -- Anonymous" is a popular joke saying. The line has been cited in print since at least 1999, but it is -- unsurprisingly -- of…

December 5, 2012
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Write drunk, edit sober”

"Write drunk, edit sober" ha been printed on many gift items, such as posters, mugs and T-shirts. The one-line saying has usually been attributed to writer Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961),…

November 9, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Writing a daily column is like being married to a nymphomaniac”

"Writing a daily column is like being married to a nymphomaniac," newspaper columnists often claim. "Every time you think you're through, you have to do it again." The…

December 1, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“X is a modern day version of having an imaginary friend”

Some people view the social media site X (formerly called Twitter) as an "imaginary friend." "twitter is just a version of having an imaginary friend" was posted on X/Twitter by…

March 21, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“X is a place to confess our unsaid feelings”

Is social media a place to confess unsaid feelings? "twitter is a place to confess our unsaid feelings" was posted on X/Twitter by 𝐊𝚎𝚟𝚜 ➐ on May 9, 2020, and this received…

November 2, 2025
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“X is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance”

Social media has many insane people on it, and it can be entertaining to watch -- from a safe distance. "Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe…

April 24, 2025
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“X is just the stripper name for Twitter. It’ll always be Twitter”

"Twitter" (an American microblogging and social networking service) rebranded as "X" in 2023, but many people still call it Twitter. "Gm welcome to hell aka Twitter aka X…

November 18, 2025
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“X is like a soap opera. You can stay away for months. Then tune in one day, and it’s all the same people saying all the same shit”

Is social media like a soap opera? "X is like a soap opera. You can stay away for months. Then tune in one day, and it's all the same people saying all the same shit" was posted on…

December 14, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“X is like group therapy, but no one heals”

X/Twitter is sometimes said to be like group therapy. "@SevenZark Twitter is like group therapy without the free coffee. Let it all out, man" was posted on X/Twitter by Jeffery Harrell on…

January 2, 2025
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“X is like waking up in a mental asylum, you have no idea you are committed until you try to leave”

"Twitter is like waking up in a mental asylum, you have no idea you are committed until you try to leave" was posted on X/Twitter by HuMMingBird on May 21, 2016, and this received over…

December 19, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“X is the social media equivalent of talking to yourself in the mirror”

X/Twitter is a not-so-great social media place to post when a person has few followers, or is shadowbanned. It can be like talking to one's self in the mirror. "twitter is like talking to…

February 18, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“X: Everyone you know is slowly going insane. LinkedIn: Everyone you know just completed a certificate you’ve never heard of…”

Each outlet of social media has a specific demographic. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by Allie on February 11, 2026, and it received over 21,000 likes: "Facebook: Everyone you know is…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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