“It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Xmas anxiety”
"It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy holiday anxiety" (or "It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas…
“It’s almost time to switch from my normal anxiety to my fancy holiday anxiety”
"It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy holiday anxiety" (or "It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas…
“It’s almost time to switch from your everyday anxiety to your fancy Christmas anxiety”
"It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety" is a saying (made after Thanksgiving and before Christmas) that has been printed on many images.…
“It’s crisps, miss!” (joke)
Noddy Holder, the lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist of the English rock band Slade, performed the song "Merry Xmas Everybody" (1973). A young Noddy Holder is included in a Christmas…
“It’s not officially Christmas until I’ve called a roll of Sellotape a twat”
"It's not (officially) Christmas until you've told a roll of Scotch tape to fuck off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Scotch tape is often used to help…
“It’s not officially Christmas until you’ve called a roll of Sellotape a bastard”
"It's not (officially) Christmas until you've told a roll of Scotch tape to fuck off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Scotch tape is often used to help…
“It’s not officially Christmas until you’ve told a roll of Scotch tape to fuck off”
"It's not (officially) Christmas until you've told a roll of Scotch tape to fuck off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Scotch tape is often used to help…
“It’s not officially Christmas until you’ve told a roll of Sellotape to fuck off”
"It's not (officially) Christmas until you've told a roll of Scotch tape to fuck off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Scotch tape is often used to help…
“It’s so funny how Santa only gives presents to good kids, but the Easter bunny is like ...”
Santa Claus rewards only good girls and boys, but the Easter bunny rewards everyone. This was posted on X/Twitter by slate (the account is now private, but a Bluesky post copies it) on April 15,…
“It’s Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve”
"God made/created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” has been an anti-gay slogan. "It’s Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve" is a jocular variation on this. "God made…
“It’s important to tell everyone you think Valentine’s Day is just a dumb, made up holiday. As opposed to all of the other holidays…”
Many people believe that Valentine's Day is an overly commercialized holiday, mostly made up by greeting card companies, florists and restaurants to improve business. However, no holidays are…
“Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t celebrate Halloween” (joke)
Jehovah's Witnesses are famous for knocking on the doors of people's homes. Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween, and many see irony in that. "Jehovah's…
“Jell-O is the candy corn of Thanksgiving”
Various foods have been called "the candy corn of Thanksgiving." That is to say, like candy corn, it's a food mainly eaten on the holiday (as with candy corn and Halloween) and at no…
“Jesus invited prostitutes to dine with him and he’s the light of the world. I do it and I’m ‘making Thanksgiving awkward’”
A joke about Thanksgiving dinner guests was posted on X/Twitter by Steve vs. Ninjas on February 7, 2017, and this received over 1,800 likes: "Jesus invited prostitutes to dine with him and…
“Just a friendly 4th of July reminder that absolutely no one is going to watch the video of fireworks you recorded on your phone”
"Just a friendly 4th of July reminder that absolutely no one is going to watch the video of fireworks you recorded on your phone" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Just a quick note for workplaces this Christmas: Pizza is NOT a holiday bonus!”
Many managers see employees working hard and reward them with pizza. The employees, however, really want bonuses. A pizza meme was posted on Facebook by Drew Kamin on October 15, 2019. "When…
“Just checked my bank account and it looks like everyone getting text messages for Christmas”
"Bank account looking like everybody getting a text message for Christmas" (or "Just checked my bank account and it looks like everyone getting text messages for Christmas") is…
“Just in time for Thanksgiving, a blockbuster movie about sweet potatoes, ‘The Silence of the Yams’”
The Silence of the Lambs is a 1991 American psychological horror thriller film. There is no film called "Silence of the Yams," but there are yam jokes that have been printed on many…
“Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair”
"Just so we're clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. How the Grinch Stole…
“Last Halloween I got so sick of the trick-or-treaters I decided to turn off all the lights and pretend I wasn’t in…”
Some people get tired of trick-or-treaters, and turn their house lights off. There's a joke about this, with a twist. "I'm sick of the trick or treaters, so I'm turning the…