“Move along! Nothing to see here!”
"Move along, folks! Nothing to see here!" is what police might say to onlookers of a traffic accident. The line became so familiar by the 1980s that it was parodied in the film The Naked…
“Move Tax Day to the day before Election Day”
Tax Day is April 15th and Election Day is the first Tuesday in November in the United States. Many people have suggested moving Tax Day to the day before Election Day. American lawyer, author and…
“My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to use hand sanitizer and to wash their hands frequently. "My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it…
“My body is a temple. Therefore I am a church and exempt from paying taxes”
"My body is a temple. Therefore I am a church and exempt from paying taxes" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. “@Anrkiss: If the church is tax exempt and my…
“My child, my choice”
"My child, my choice" is a parents' rights saying that has been printed on many images. The saying often refers to the choice of vaccinating a child, and can refer to educational…
“My dad’s sisters can’t get Covid. They have antibodies”
"Antibodies" have nothing to do with the bodies of "aunts," but there are jokes. The jokes became popular during the 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "Why does your…
“My dental plan is basically me chewing on the side of my mouth that doesn’t hurt”
Many people cannot afford to go to the dentist. To avoid dental pain, they chew on the other side of their mouth (the side that doesn't hurt). "Thinking of going back to my old dental…
“My dental plan is, ‘I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on’”
Many people cannot afford to go to the dentist. To avoid dental pain, they chew on the other side of their mouth (the side that doesn't hurt). "Thinking of going back to my old dental…
“My doctor told me to lower my carbs. So now I eat my chips sitting on the floor”
A doctor's instruction to "lower carbs" means to lower carbohydrate intake. but a joke misunderstands this. "My doctor told me to lower my carbs. So now I eat my chips sitting…
“My dog ate my homework and then a migrant ate my dog”
In September 2024, a Springfield, Ohio pet-eating rumor was that Haitian immigrants were eating people's pets (cats and dogs). A new spin was provided on the jocular student homework excuse,…
“My dog ate my homework and then an immigrant ate my dog”
In September 2024, a Springfield, Ohio pet-eating rumor was that Haitian immigrants were eating people's pets (cats and dogs). A new spin was provided on the jocular student homework excuse,…
“My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is
"My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is" was posted on Twitter by sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) on February 15, 2022. The tweet…
“My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is”
A dog or a cat can sigh a lot, but their owners often wonder why that is, when pets have no responsibilities. "My dog sighs as if she has bills to pay" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My eighty-percent friend is not my twenty-percent enemy”
"The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor" (or, "My eighty-percent friend is not my twenty-percent enemy") is…
“My ex tried to get my baby marijuana plants, but I was granted joint custody”
"Joint custody" usually does not involve marijuana, but there are jokes. "Why isn't marijuana possession called joint custody?" was posted on Twitter by Charlie Ernstes on…
“My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about us”
"My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. The saying (with various version) became…
“My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you”
"My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. The saying (with various version) became…
“My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about your health”
"My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. The saying (with various version) became…
“My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares for me”
"My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. The saying (with various version) became…
“My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares for you”
"My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. The saying (with various version) became…