“My dad’s sisters can’t get Covid. They have antibodies”
"Antibodies" have nothing to do with the bodies of "aunts," but there are jokes. The jokes became popular during the 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "Why does your…
“My dental plan is basically me chewing on the side of my mouth that doesn’t hurt”
Many people cannot afford to go to the dentist. To avoid dental pain, they chew on the other side of their mouth (the side that doesn't hurt). "Thinking of going back to my old dental…
“My dental plan is, ‘I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on’”
Many people cannot afford to go to the dentist. To avoid dental pain, they chew on the other side of their mouth (the side that doesn't hurt). "Thinking of going back to my old dental…
“My doctor told me to lower my carbs. So now I eat my chips sitting on the floor”
A doctor's instruction to "lower carbs" means to lower carbohydrate intake. but a joke misunderstands this. "My doctor told me to lower my carbs. So now I eat my chips sitting…
“My dog ate my homework and then a migrant ate my dog”
In September 2024, a Springfield, Ohio pet-eating rumor was that Haitian immigrants were eating people's pets (cats and dogs). A new spin was provided on the jocular student homework excuse,…
“My dog ate my homework and then an immigrant ate my dog”
In September 2024, a Springfield, Ohio pet-eating rumor was that Haitian immigrants were eating people's pets (cats and dogs). A new spin was provided on the jocular student homework excuse,…
“My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is
"My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is" was posted on Twitter by sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) on February 15, 2022. The tweet…
“My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is”
A dog or a cat can sigh a lot, but their owners often wonder why that is, when pets have no responsibilities. "My dog sighs as if she has bills to pay" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My eighty-percent friend is not my twenty-percent enemy”
"The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor" (or, "My eighty-percent friend is not my twenty-percent enemy") is…
“My ex tried to get my baby marijuana plants, but I was granted joint custody”
"Joint custody" usually does not involve marijuana, but there are jokes. "Why isn't marijuana possession called joint custody?" was posted on Twitter by Charlie Ernstes on…
“My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about us”
"My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. The saying (with various version) became…
“My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you”
"My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. The saying (with various version) became…
“My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about your health”
"My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. The saying (with various version) became…
“My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares for me”
"My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. The saying (with various version) became…
“My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares for you”
"My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. The saying (with various version) became…
“My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons”
Many health insurance plans do not cover eye care or dental work. This was posted on X/Twitter by Laurazepam on August 12, 2022, and received over 337,000 likes: "my favorite part about health…
“My fellow Americans”
"My fellow Americans" is often how a politician (such as a president or a senator) addresses the people of the United States. "My fellow Americans" has been cited in print since…
“My freedom doesn’t end where your fear begins”
"My/Our rights don't end where your fear begins" (or "My/Our rights don't end where your fears begin") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My/Our…
“My freedom is more important than your good idea”
"My freedom is more important than your good idea" has been a bumper sticker saying since at least 2001. The saying means that government often has "good ideas" with its…
“My friend David had his ID stolen the other day. Now we just call him Dav”
"My friend David had his ID stolen yesterday. We just call him Dav now" is an ID joke that was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on April 13, 2011. The joke originated on the…