“If cats could talk to cops, they wouldn’t”
"If cats could talk to cops, they wouldn't" is a meme that has been printed on many images. The meme combines the sayings "If cats could [X}, they wouldn't" with…
“If children started school at six months old and their teachers gave them walking lessons…”
Many people believe that they can't exist without government schools -- rather than home schooling --just because things have long been this way. This was posted on X/Twitter by Geoff Graham…
“If Congress has the right under the Constitution to issue paper money ...”
President Andrew Jackson (1767-1845) said in a July 10, 1832 Veto Message Regarding the Bank of the United States: "The money so coined, with its value so regulated, and such foreign coins as…
“If cops can execute you because they ‘saw a gun,’ you do not have the right to bear arms”
"If cops can execute you because they 'saw a gun,' you do not have the right to bear arms" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If a cop can execute you…
“If coronavirus doesn’t take you out, can I?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led to some jocular pickup lines. This was posted on Twitter by yikes on March 9, 2020: "If the coronavirus doesn’t take you out, can I?" "If…
“If COVID-19 doesn’t take you out, can I?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led to some jocular pickup lines. This was posted on Twitter by yikes on March 9, 2020: "If the coronavirus doesn’t take you out, can I?" "If…
“If cutting government funding shuts down an NGO, it is not, and never was a Non Governmental Organization”
The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) was established in 2025 and sought to cut government costs, such as money to NGOs. Many people wondered why a non-governmental organization (NGO)…
“If cutting government funding shuts down an NGO, it was never a Non Governmental Organization”
The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) was established in 2025 and sought to cut government costs, such as money to NGOs. Many people wondered why a non-governmental organization (NGO)…
“If DEI is a good thing, why do they get upset when you call someone a DEI hire?”
In July 2024, U.S. Vice President Kamala Harris replaced President Joe Biden on the Democrat ticket for President for the 2024 election. Some Republicans called her a "DEI hire," and…
“If earth is the third planet from the sun, then isn’t every country a third world country?”
The term "third world" was popularized in the 1950s during the Cold War and referred to political alignments, but there's a joke: "If earth is the third planet from the sun,…
“If everyone in the world was right-handed, then there would be nobody left”
"What would happen if everyone in the world was right handed? There would be nobody left" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Carlo Borja on January 30, 2014. "If everyone in the…
“If fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?”
Manhattan-born comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) wrote in Napalm & Silly Putty (2002): "The contra killers were known as 'freedom fighters.' Well, if crime fighters fight crime…
“If free speech is a threat to your government, then your government is a threat to your country”
"If free speech is a threat to your government, (then) your government is a threat to your country" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If free speech is a threat to…
“If free speech is a threat to your government… your government is a threat to your country”
"If free speech is a threat to your government, (then) your government is a threat to your country" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If free speech is a threat to…
“If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to slaughter”
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter" is a George Washington (1732-1799) quotation that became frequently used in the…
“If gay and lesbian people are given civil rights, then everyone will want them”
"If gay and lesbian people are given civil rights, then everyone/everybody will want them" is a saying that's been cited in print since at least June 1994. The origin of the saying…
“If gay marriage is wrong, then why did we have four fathers?”
"Forefathers" shouldn't be confused with "four fathers," but there are jokes. "If gay marriage is wrong, then why did we have four fathers?" was posted on Twitter…
“If genitals don’t define gender, how does removing them affirm it?”
"If genitals don't define gender, how does removing them affirm it?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Imagine thinking genitalia doesn't indicate…
“If Gladstone should fall into the Thames, that would be a misfortune…” (political joke)
A joke about the difference between an accident (or mishap or misfortune) and a calamity (or catastrophe or misfortune) appears to have been first told in France and was published in the the Leeds…
“If God didn’t make it, don’t take it”
"If nature didn't make it, don't take it" is a health saying that has beenprinted on many images. The saying is usually attributed to Alfredo Darrington Bowman (1933-2016), also…